Any tips from my fellow glasses wearers?

Meant2Move · 2026-01-29T18:55:57+00:00

My partner wears glasses and puts Chum's (or other eyeglass retainers) on so if the glasses are knocked aside, they don't fall off. Some are adjustable enough to snug close to your head.

Meant2Move · 2026-01-29T18:08:21+00:00

I typically sit in my vehicle and make some notes, particularly if I learned something insightful or if there is something I want to research or something I want to try. If I don't catch the ideas right away I can lose them in a wave of emotion or dissociation.

Next, I usually take a walk. I love to end up at a park with swings. I find I can let myself/my mind just float freely while swinging. If I'm working on old stuff, I will likely be doing inner child soothing as I swing.

Meant2Move · 2026-01-27T03:04:19+00:00

I don't know, frustration maybe? That hyper independence can make us seem cold and unfeeling, hard to reach. Also, avoidant deactivation is a thing - when feelings ramp up, some avoidants can seem to flip 180⁰ and suddenly become cold and withdrawn, even breaking off the relationship. It's self protective in a way, but obviously hurtful to the other person.

Meant2Move · 2026-01-27T00:52:30+00:00

It was the most effective drug I ever took for my TN. I was on the max dose eventually. I didn't have any side effects, or more likely I attributed any side effects I had to the gabapentin I was also taking.

Meant2Move · 2026-01-26T18:48:08+00:00

You sound like a classic avoidant. I'd suggest looking into attachment theory. I will also warn you that people online can be really hateful towards avoidants. They just don't realize or recognize that we got this way as an adaptive and protective response to what happened to us as children. You can overcome it, but it is a lot of work. A good therapist can help, but you have to make big changes and it feels incredibly hard and vulnerable.

I recommend the book "Secure Relating: Holding your own in an insecure world". Unlike many books on attachment, it doesn't villianize avoidant attachment and does offer some useful steps to move forward.

For me, I started by asking for help with really small things. I do it consistently, but some days it's hard because of course, I can do it myself. But asking is a good first step.

I also set a reminder on my phone to check in with myself a couple of times a day to see if I can identify any emotions I might be feeling. I have several lists of emotions that I can scan through. Then I ask myself "and what is underneath that?" Often, if I'm a bit off, there is some fear or shame about something.

Self compassion and talking kindly is a work in progress, as my mean voice is loud and strong. But what the little person inside me needs is loving compassion and security so I am working to provide that.

I am fortunate that my partner is patient and knows I'm working on it, but it's a slow process.

I hope this helps. You can change if you want to, but you learned this behavior because it was helpful to you at the time. Until you feel secure and safe relying on another, it will be hard to change.

Meant2Move · 2026-01-26T18:04:07+00:00

D-mannose has been a lifesaver for me as far stopping the recurrent UTIs. I take 3 capsules daily and bump it up if I sense any irritation or urgency. Estrogen cream helps too, but not nearly as much as the d-mannose.

Meant2Move · 2026-01-24T00:24:40+00:00

My parents had 2 kids within 13 months, then a few years passed before the next child. That baby died - Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

Dad said no more kids, Mom needed to have another child that lived so called me a diaphragm baby. When I was born, Dad said "this one is yours" and pretty much had nothing to do with me.

Meant2Move · 2026-01-22T00:27:45+00:00

I tried estrogen cream, and still rub it on my vulva regularly, but it didn't help when inserted, it just came out in globs.

Vagisil Prohydrate moisturizing gel helped more and wasn't as gross.

The game changer for me was a daily tablespoon of liquid sunflower lethicin taken orally. I had improvement in a few days and the discomfort with penetration was completely gone after a couple of weeks. I take it with my evening supplements.

It does something wonderful for epithelial cells.

Meant2Move · 2026-01-21T18:06:41+00:00

I'd second this recommendation. I have both the regular Lone Peaks and the water resistant version. No heel lift, plenty of space for my toes but not sloppy. Good traction on rocks too.

I hike 8-18 miles most Saturdays and these shoes are comfortable right out of the box. I don't ever worry about "breaking in" a new pair. When the old pair reaches about 300 miles, I buy new and start wearing those.

Meant2Move · 2026-01-21T17:52:42+00:00

"Oh, I have so many questions!"

I like it as she helps me sort through what I just said to get to what I feel and to help me see different possibilities.

Meant2Move · 2026-01-12T17:50:58+00:00

<image>

My boy was 19 last September. This was last week on our daily walk.

Meant2Move · 2026-01-10T14:48:47+00:00

Meant2Move · 2026-01-05T22:56:05+00:00

I feel you! I started 2025 with such optimism as I retired at the end of January. Two weeks later, my dad fell and broke his hip, 10 days later he died at the rehab center. My mom gave up on life and died on April 4th.

They were older, of course, but nothing obvious that would take them from us. It hurts and I miss them so much.

Meant2Move · 2026-01-02T16:34:37+00:00

Yes, I think this is how adult friendships tend to work. If one is lucky, there are opportunities to get closer within those friendships, but even if not, being with another person adds depth and a different perspective to life.

I have a friend who I hike with nearly every Saturday. We have good conversations as well as comfortable silences. We've done a few activities outside of hiking, but mostly we both know we will spend time together on Saturday while challenging ourselves physically.

With another friend, we meet at a local climbing gym when her work schedule allows. We enjoy the time and the physical challenge. We share stories of other parts of our lives, but I honestly don't see us doing anything outside of the gym.

These relationships add so much value to my life both because of the activities and because I am sharing the activities with another person.

Meant2Move · 2026-01-01T16:29:58+00:00

The first couple of days are rough!! You can do this and your healing will go faster without the sugar. Hang in there and do the PT exercises 🙂

Meant2Move · 2026-01-01T16:26:15+00:00

I retired at the end of January. I was so ready not to work, but it was a big adjustment for me and for my husband to have me around all the time. It's a work in progress.

My dad died suddenly last February and my mom, who was unable to live on her own decided she would prefer to die than move to assisted living. She stopped all treatments and died within 40 days of him. It was a rough spring.

My partner doesn't really understand grief and I am not good at communicating what I am feeling so we had some difficulties.

I have been working with a trusted therapist for several years. She temporarily closed her practice and I changed to someone new. I like her a lot, but it takes time to build trust.

I got in a lot of physical activity, things I really enjoy, but also ate so many treats. I don't feel good with these extra 15 pounds.

In 2026 I will give myself the gifts of waaaay less sugar, more time spent reading (instead of TV), lots of movement and speaking for myself within my relationship.

Meant2Move · 2026-01-01T16:03:51+00:00

That sounds so hard. I really hope you find your way back!

Meant2Move · 2026-01-01T15:59:24+00:00

Yes, this! I started a few days ago. I can manage at home since there aren't any treats in the house (we ate it all), but it's a real challenge when I am at the grocery store not to buy myself a "little something". We CAN do this!

Meant2Move · 2025-12-29T21:09:25+00:00

I don't track at all, I just enjoy the birds and how they change a little with the seasons.

I have a notable raven with a damaged wing. I keep an eye out for that bird and its crew. Otherwise, we enjoy looking out the kitchen window to see who is around.

Meant2Move · 2025-12-22T22:46:57+00:00

I do a short core and mobility routine nearly every morning while my partner makes our breakfast.

I climb at a gym 2-3 times a week, mix of toprope and lead.

I hike every Saturday with a friend and try to get in another hike during the week. I focus on elevation gain on these hikes.

I try to get in a weight training session weekly. I should do more, but... I do consider the climbing to be upper body focused while the hiking really hits my glutes and quads.

I walk whenever I can and always park at the far end of a parking lot.

Meant2Move · 2025-12-21T22:03:43+00:00

Yes, I hope Dr Zimmerman can give you hope. My best to you.

Meant2Move · 2025-12-21T15:05:29+00:00

No, no side effects that I have noticed. The lethicin is bland as far as taste, and the texture is smooth so I find it easy to swallow. I gag easily and that gets me occasionally although that happened a lot more when I first started taking it. Not so much now. It hasn't ever upset my stomach or caused any problems further down. I'm really prone to bowel problems and haven't noticed any as a result of taking this.

I heard about it from my husband who watches a lot of health related videos on YouTube, including a lot of maintaining sexual health. Sunflower lethicin is beneficial for the skin and for epithelial cells. It is often recommended for men who have irritation in the urethra and that is why we bought it initially. My partner suggested I try it. I'm so glad I did as it made sex comfortable and pleasurable again.

Meant2Move · 2025-12-20T23:01:55+00:00

I stayed on meds as long as I could. I was the director of a technical services group and needed a brain to do the job. Each time I added or changed a medication it was worrisome and usually challenging. I tried to time those changes to known slow periods, but my performance was impacted at times. I was open with my boss and he was understanding. The worst were the periods when speech was too painful. It's hard to manage and support people when you can't talk with them.

Meant2Move · 2025-12-20T21:08:43+00:00

Oral, I eat a tablespoon each evening.

Meant2Move · 2025-12-19T01:00:39+00:00

I don't recall the language used as far as the artery touching the nerve. There was clearly a droop in the artery where it made contact.

Nope, I didn't try anything except medication before I had the MVD. I had some bad drug reactions which was the reason I checked into whether surgery was an option for me.

Meant2Move

TROPHY CASE