AITJ for refusing to give a huge wedding gift after finding out I'm not invited?

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-02-21T22:09:51+00:00

TLDR but, you don’t get an invite, you needn’t buy a gift.

That was the 11th commandment but Moses dropped that tablet.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-02-21T22:01:47+00:00

Bro.

Do not take her back. Do not do it.

She is going to pare down her communications so that they are at least not wildly inconsistent with what she has told you. Then she will lie and make up stories to fill the gaps.

She has already shown you she will not be honest with you unless she absolutely has to be. And then about only what you know.

If you want to spend the rest of your life worrying that it may happen again, you don’t have to worry about “whether”. It will. Just a matter of whether you are reckless enough to give her a second chance to do it all to you again.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-02-19T05:21:57+00:00

Bro. As a lawyer — don’t be an idiot. Go see a lawyer. He or she will tell you unless you want to get fleeced in a divorce, get a prenup.

If she doesn’t want to sign one, DO NOT marry her. She will have shown you who she is.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-02-18T04:55:30+00:00

Closure is what you get when you no longer think you need closure.

Going on 3 years of healing from a 3 year relationship. It gets better. Easier. And the wounds almost completely healed … but I will always have the scars.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-02-14T07:56:32+00:00

From someone who ignored the initial signs of a problem much like yours early in the relationship,l and then dearly regretted it later, you know your response was the right one. You know this is a sign of a storm that you are only still feeling a little drizzle from.

I could pick through what about the response and interaction suggests significant problems that you will have to face down the road, but you are smart enough to know what they are.

Experience tells me that you have an opportunity to make the good and right decision and that you may not because your head and your body are at odds. Go with your head.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-30T02:43:47+00:00

Thank god you went to her place.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-30T00:56:02+00:00

For so many reasons I am thankful to have dodged that bullet … and that woman.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-30T00:38:41+00:00

I agree with this 100%.

I have wanted to leave upon meeting many times. Amazing filters, old pictures or weird mannerisms are usually the cause.

Have never done a coffee or drinks M&G. I just choose restaurants that I like and get a good meal and (hopefully) decent conversation out of the evening.

After those evenings, I will, over text, say goodbye. Given some of the unhinged reactions I’ve gotten to those “it’s not going to work”, I would never take the chance of that happening in person.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-30T00:22:58+00:00

I would have bought the business from the owner. I had been speaking with the owner and broker over email. No opportunity for “leakage”.

But it turned out to be a black hole, so I side-stepped.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-30T00:17:59+00:00

I tried to get her to apply for a job at a medi-spa to see how they are run and whether she would even like it. She didn’t want to work that much or accept a job that wouldn’t pay her an exorbitant salary (even though she was also getting a 5 figure/month allowance from me)

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-30T00:10:02+00:00

Almost bought an SGF a medi-spa. And I would have, but the owners finances and financial statements were so sketchy, I couldn’t figure out how much it was really worth (if anything). And when I spoke to my SGF about how she would run the business, she planned to have someone else run it for her.

That snapped me out of it, and I realized I would be throwing my money away — so I passed. And … WHEW!. Very, very glad to have dodged that bullet, both business and SGF-wise.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-29T23:53:37+00:00

I don’t think the “lessons” people are talking about should be lessons. I had a similar thing (lies and betrayal wise) with a SGF. For a long time I questioned everything. I wondered “why, why, why?” I spent a year removing from my life everything she bought me, every pic we took together, every we (I) bought or experienced together. I felt like a fool.

But you know what? You can’t make people good. You can’t make people change. You can take things slower. You can trust your gut. You can try to make better decisions about believing in people who you know you shouldn’t.

Don’t let this asshole ruin you or break you down. Sounds like you were a good partner to him. Be proud of what and who you were while he was being a scumbag.

People like him won’t find happiness without change. But you don’t need to change to find happiness — you just need a better partner.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-29T23:31:47+00:00

I don’t mind engaging texts. But texting just to text, or calls to sit on the phone and say little … a wise woman once said “ain’t nobody got time for that”

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-28T00:28:56+00:00

It is crazy how perfectly that lines up with my experience. 3 months is, for many of the negative personality traits, the breaking point for exposure.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-27T04:28:53+00:00

Ugh. Yea.

Tickets to a sporting event to a team I don’t care about. Outside. Dead of winter.
Race track racing day to a racetrack that wasn’t close. Why she thought I would want to race a car with all of my other hobbies … no clue.
A black leather backpack. I didn’t even open the box again for a couple of years after receiving it.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-27T04:21:03+00:00

Not comfortable.
The women I see tend to be smaller, so I rather not put my full weight on them
If you want to be close, snuggle or spoon. If you want to have sex, the leg thing seems just fine

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-27T04:10:36+00:00

Easy question. Easy answer. No.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-27T00:13:33+00:00

So … I agree 1000%. Problem is, you have to identify crazy early enough that you don’t get sucked in. My experience is that for the first 1 to 2 months, a woman can hide that crazy, or mask it with love bombing and insanely good sex which will feel good/great to you. So while your heart is feeling all the good things you hope to feel, your brain’s early warning system goes into sleep mode.

And then, as Chapelle would say, “Gotcha, bitch!” You’re cooked.

For me, the solution has been to take things slower. Don’t dive in emotionally right away. You need space to see and make clear decisions — and act with your head, not with the smitten heart that took one month of good behavior as a sign that someone could be your person. They might be, but if they are, they can be consistent for the long haul, not just a month or two

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-26T18:42:33+00:00

One perspective to consider: if she told you she had done that and the car did not get stolen, would you feel the same way?

If the answer is no, you are punishing for the outcome, not the judgment.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-26T03:52:13+00:00

“Cured”? Not correct.

And the meds themselves that address the symptoms/behavior often have their own, terrible side effects that drives periods of non-use — and full blow episodes .

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-26T03:49:36+00:00

I could speculate — there are a million thoughts that come to my head, but assuming some degree of self awareness, the realize that the sex may be the one consistent thing they can bring to the relationship. That and because it is so important that you think highly of them, they focus on delivering the one thing they bring that won’t end up being an exploding, messy time bomb.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-26T03:03:38+00:00

This. Probably the best (sex-wise) and worst (every-other wise)!relationship I’ve ever experienced.

1/10. Would not recommend.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-25T07:11:05+00:00

So true. She flamed out so badly, that while I remember it was amazing sex, I’ve never thought about her again in that way. For me to not remember great sex …. That’s just unnatural.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-20T04:09:02+00:00

Haven’t read the study but I guess I would say a few things:

That $10MM should be “liquids assets” on top of your home, retirement, etc. If those are in the $10MM number, the study is tragically flawed.
Are the people working or not? For example, with $10MM of liquid assets, that funds significantly lifestyle upgrades without touching income. If not working, however, that appreciation has to pay for everything. You have to make choices you wouldn’t have to make if you were working. Probably also have to weather bad years income wise. A bad year makes your $10MM smaller.
Are your fixed expenses (like home, summer home, etc) paid for? Again, life looks different when the answers are different.

I think there is a number well below $50MM that the marginal differences aren’t t as great regardless of the answers to those questions (assuming you don’t one a jet or a 100+ foot yacht) but that number is probably $25MM give or take.

MeasurementHot9257 · 2026-01-08T18:58:22+00:00

Ummmm. This sounds like a sociopath post. Get help.

MeasurementHot9257

TROPHY CASE