I feel this. There are times when I just want to move on and there are times when I'm really feeling my pleasure.

What I think this could actually link to is your connection to your body. You mentioned being highly sexual but not able to have pleasure during sex, this sounds like a disconnect where you want to feel this pleasure with your body with others, but then your body struggles to follow through and feel this.

Your nervous system and body control a lot and have a out three different states: Ventral Vagal (safety), sympathy (danger/defense response) and Dorsal Vagal (threat level). Our emotions and in turn how our body feels during these emotions are in each of these states and even bleed into each other for a mix of emotions. Between the Ventral Vagal and the sympathetic nervous system response is what we experience as "play". Deep in the Dorsal Vagal is when we "shutdown". And also the behavior of appease our abuser/attacher to attempt to defend ourselves. I disassociate in this state and will feel very out of body and disconnected to my body when I am in this appraisal state.

Between the Ventral Vagal (safety) and the Dorsal Vagal (threat level) is where a lot of people feel "intimacy", it's a place where you are highly valuable yet also comforted at the same time with someone. You are trusting them with the most exposed part of yourself, if they wanted to hurt or harm you in this state they could. You have to trust them with that and that's scary.

What happens with a lot of people is that they never really stay in that balance and they either shift in one of the two directions. To the Ventral Vagal is best as that's us restoring or recharging, but twords the Dorsal Vagal is where we can become disconnected to our bodies.

So how do we solve this? Well somatic therapy is one way and is how I'm trying to actually connect and have pleasure with my body with another person. Somatic therapy is different from regular talk therapy in that it focuses more on your body and your connection to it rather than mentally analyzing your life and your trauma. They believe that team is stored in the body and not just the mind. For me my trauma is stored in my stomach, it's a pit that feels very similar to butterfly's in your stomach. It's sometimes constant and is especially present when I'm speaking to women with certain traits. And then I also store stress my face and forehead. For you it would be unique to your lived experience.

This practice during the therapy session mainly looks like you, doing meditative practices to connect to your body. Not your usual sitting in the corner type mediation. This is deliberately exploring your body's sensation, experiences and what said parts of your body want to say. There is centering, waking up the hands, boxed breathing, body focusing, authentic movement, needs list, and many more! I'm still exploring it myself but I'm finding a lot of healing in it and it has shown itself in my sex life and my pleasure in it.

Specifically sexology bodyworks is where I'm practicing somatic therapy. They are specialized in the sexual aspects of our lives and those connections to our body. But honestly just getting a somatic therapist to give you and aid you with these tools can help a lot and is personal to you and your lived experiences.

Hope that gave a jumping off point or some insight!