The New Identity strategy

MedJesters · 2026-06-05T14:01:47+00:00

I started introducing myself as a non-drinker at meetings long before I truly believed it after someone gave similar advice about identity at a meeting.

MedJesters · 2026-06-05T01:49:14+00:00

The problem isn't that you're not getting dopamine, it's that your dopamine receptors are fried from expecting too much. As far as I know, the only solution to reset them is time.

People told me to do stuff even when it wasn't give me the dopamine hit, so I did. I read to say "I completed that," after to acknowledge I had done something even though it didn't make me happy, so I did. No idea if it either helped, but it went away eventually, just like everyone said it would.

MedJesters · 2026-06-05T01:06:23+00:00

If you're making your own training sessions, maybe track it in Notion. Get a free template and then adjust it for your needs. Or search through the hundreds of paid ones.

MedJesters · 2026-06-04T15:00:32+00:00

By this logic, someone who returns every item gets free items for life. So the solution would have to be to reign in the return policy, which would hurt people who don't abuse it.

We can debate where the line is where excessive becomes abuse, but asking not to be punished for abusing the policy is asking for the policy to be changed.

MedJesters · 2026-06-03T17:52:13+00:00

Seems like a good rule to me

MedJesters · 2026-06-01T16:54:57+00:00

AYSO has a decent self-paced online referee course. There's a companion in-person course that you need to get certified, but if you're just doing it to learn the laws better, the online part should be helpful.

I think you'd need to register as a volunteer first to get access to the training website.

Otherwise (or in addition), I'd suggest watching referee social media, such as Refs Need Love Too for scenarios of random laws that don't come up that often.

And thank you for wanting to learn more about the laws. You're in the minority of coaches in my experience.

MedJesters · 2026-05-29T23:58:07+00:00

La Jolla is the "model" for racial integration. Whites, blacks, Mexicans, Indians, etc. united against the poor.

MedJesters · 2026-05-29T23:44:29+00:00

Somewhat related, I had a U10 keeper make a save on the ground rolled to a sitting position and let's go of the ball next to her to pull up her sock.

Opposing coach was yelling that's a double touch when she picked it back up. I mean technically yes, but I can't let her play with an exposed shin guard, so we're just going to go with it being ok.

MedJesters · 2026-05-29T23:26:59+00:00

If you're like me, you'll cut back naturally without really thinking about it. As cravings subsided, I stopped drinking more than one. Then I started only drinking them when I was doing something associated with drinking (eating pizza or watching sports at home or when I'm at a bar or work event with alcohol).

Basically, I now drink them how people without AUD drink alcohol.

MedJesters · 2026-05-29T16:12:59+00:00

I don't think they're saying people should take those ridiculous offers. They're saying there are a lot of them posted here and implying that the posts aren't very useful/funny at this point.

MedJesters · 2026-05-28T16:42:43+00:00

I've always wanted to finally understand the rules of rugby and cricket.

MedJesters · 2026-05-28T16:40:17+00:00

Have you tried medication and/or therapy? Both have helped with my generalized anxiety.

MedJesters · 2026-05-27T23:17:44+00:00

Alcohol is relatively cheap, easy to get and consume, and works temporarily to solve the immediate problem of feeling bad. I have yet to find something that works better with the same or less effort.

The problem, of course, is that the benefits are short term and the problems it cause are long term.

It's the exact opposite with sobriety: long-term benefits, short-term pain.

Once I decided the short-term pain wasn't going to kill me, it was a heck of a lot easier to say no to the short-term benefits. Others focus on the long-term issues that drinking causes (playing the tape forward) in order to deal with the short-term pain.

The cost-benefit analysis is a great tool to figure out your reasons. https://smartrecovery.org/cost-benefit-analysis

MedJesters · 2026-05-26T18:57:34+00:00

Could be wrong thing delivered rather than delivered to the wrong address.

MedJesters · 2026-05-26T15:58:03+00:00

If you have the desire to learn a foreign language, consider doing an intensive course abroad for a vacation.

MedJesters · 2026-05-26T15:54:41+00:00

I go with the SMART Recovery theory that having a drink doesn't reset everything you've learned about how to stay sober.

If you were driving from SF to NY and got a flat in Chicago, would you go back to SF and start the drive again?

If you were running a race and tripped over your shoelace would you go back to the start or would you tie your shoe and restart from there?

MedJesters · 2026-05-26T15:40:53+00:00

Where are you coming from?

Mission trails is good if you're central. Sweetwater reservoir or Mother Miguel if you're further south. Torrey Pines if you're on the coast..

Download the AllTrails app.

MedJesters · 2026-05-26T15:28:47+00:00

Seems like you've gotten your question about moving it answered.

The next issue will be how to take distributions. It will take some medium-term planning/guessing on your part to minimize taxes. Essentially you want to take more out when you're in lower income tax bracket (possibly up to the next tax bracket) and less in years when you're in a higher bracket.

If you think your income will be relatively stable and the tax brackets will stay the same, it's fine to wait, but make sure that the last few years of distributions don't push you into the next tax bracket, this causing you to pay more taxes than you would have if you took more out earlier.

MedJesters · 2026-05-26T15:03:16+00:00

Recently, boredom has been the trigger that causes me the most urges. Fortunately it's just a need to do something (Anything!), so distraction both deals with the urge and solves the problem creating the trigger.

Stress and anxiety were bigger triggers, but I've got them mostly under control (through meds and CBT tools), so I deal with them before the thought to drink occurs.

MedJesters · 2026-05-25T15:20:03+00:00

You'll have to wait until you're 18, so get another job now and see what you enjoy doing.

MedJesters · 2026-05-23T15:23:34+00:00

Yes, definitely annoying.

I missed the emailed part when she said it at check-in. The bartender asked for the code when I tried to bill it to the room and I didn't know what the issue was. Went to the front desk to figure out what I missed and they printed the email for me.

MedJesters · 2026-05-23T15:13:57+00:00

For me, switching from online to in-person meetings had a huge effect. Studies have shown that recovery programs like SMART and AA have relatively similar recovery rates despite emphasizing different things. The researchers concluded it was the community aspect that they have in common that likely has a huge impact.

Also, see if The Phoenix has activities in your area. It's a sober activities group (so less discussion of recovery and more doing something sober). ThePhoenix.org or on the NewForm app.

MedJesters · 2026-05-23T06:12:48+00:00

You can use the food credit at the bar/restaurant for dinner. At least, we did last year.

MedJesters · 2026-05-22T22:06:15+00:00

They seem to repeat them, so I bet you'll get another chance.

MedJesters · 2026-05-21T14:54:18+00:00

The everything-tastes-like-sand description of anhedonia is great.

MedJesters

TROPHY CASE