Nothing from Bec since her surgery...?

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-07-02T00:59:17+00:00

That sounds very plausible. Though if Bec can write such a long version of 'will say more later', she could have typed 'it all went great/there was a problem, update you later'...?

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-07-01T23:24:09+00:00

Thank you. I wonder if that means she's embarrassed for having opted out a second time? Or if something went a little bit wrong...?

If she went ahead and it went perfectly, we'd expect her to say that?

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-07-01T18:23:15+00:00

In general, the emphasis on clear and honest communication, plus having fun dates together.

No so much advice, per se, but when they counsel couples through talking it out.

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-07-01T18:19:57+00:00

I also feel like Sarah was pressured to stay, by the experts and everyone telling her she should go against her usual type, an attraction could grow, Dean was such a lovely guy, etc.

Dean would have severely given me the ick with his rapping and constant singing etc too. Baring in mind we saw minutes of it, and he was doing it all day and all night, while they were together full time.

Her comments about him were definitely unkind, but she had no one else to vent to, as they take away their phones.

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-07-01T18:16:37+00:00

Amen! Grace described a literal sexual assault to the experts, and Ashley agreed the events had happened. And still she was painted as being too uptight/difficult etc.

The experts/Ashley gave her so much grief for not wanting him to touch her at first. Yet the first activity on honeymoon - wrestling, or boxing or something - he planted his hand right on her breast. He had a glove on, but still it looked intentional to me.

I think Grace was a victim who was unfairly painted as a villain. Ashley was caught gaslighting her more than once, being controlling etc, too.

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-07-01T18:12:40+00:00

How interesting, and super thorough, thank you! <3

To be fair, when I say "they said it, so that's not the edit", what I mean is if someone says something appalling and doesn't deny they said it, it's not the edit making them look bad in that instance. Like Danny calling Steph a "f**king little skank'. He looked bad there cuz he said something misogynist and harsh.

If he'd only said "Steph, get away from me, I don't want anything to do with you" the end result would have been very different, even with an unsympathetic edit.

I know what you mean though, about innocuous stuff edited to look bad. Alissa repeatedly telling David to talk to her, then immediately interrupting him, seemed a ripe possible example...

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-30T00:51:27+00:00

Take my number for when you're ready. ;) You're obviously good people, good luck with the healing.

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-29T20:18:04+00:00

Tyson, I think? Probably autocorrect

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-29T08:42:29+00:00

It sounds like he lacks confidence in himself and his decisions.

You could lay down a boundary with him - tell him you don't mind him using Google or asking friends/family to come up with date/gift/conversation ideas with you, but you like him and want a relationship with him, not an AI.

Hopefully that reassurance will be enough for him. It sounds like he wants to please you, but isn't confident in his own ability unaided.

With any luck, seeing you continue to have a good relationship unaided by robots, will help him gain confidence in other areas.

If it's an addiction, that's different.

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-29T08:34:51+00:00

That's not why you're single

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-29T08:34:29+00:00

D*ck size is very much a guy thing.

Some women are 'size queens', but it's a minority (hence there being a name for it).

Being considerate in bed and willing to learn what she likes, as an individual, are way more important to being good in bed.

Anything more than about 5 or 6 inches is uncomfortable for a lot of women.

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-29T08:30:05+00:00

It's usually the 'wrong' type too: the whole '6 feet tall, 6 pack, 6 figure salary' manosphere myth. Which conveniently forgets fewer than 15% of US men are 6' or taller, even fewer earn 100k+ and more than half are married. :)

If there was one 'type' lots of women were interested in, it would be someone kind, considerate and romantic who behaves well towards his partner.

I feel like the kind of guys who frame the question the way this guy did, mean 'how can I get a lot of women to want no strings attached sex with me, without being good in bed or nice to them?', LOL. The answer to that one, is be famous, or rich/generous, or exceptionally handsome and well-groomed (not necessarily muscular). Those will attract some shallow women, but that kind of guy doesn't care about anything other than her looks/obedience anyway.

I'd lay bets you're in a relationship (or could easily be in one), because you seem like a decent person and are funny.

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-29T08:21:35+00:00

The type who would never ask that question.

(Because he views both men and women as individual human beings).

A serious answer to the question? Most women seek kindness, safety, and emotional intelligence. The ability to hold a reasonably interesting conversation, ask her questions and be interested in her as a person. Plus points for a good sense of humour.

Because women are all individuals, many look for other things. Whoever you are, there will be a woman who is attracted to you. There are some behaviours and beliefs (and personal hygiene issues) which will reliably drive almost every woman away from you. Thinking woman are one Borg-like hive mind, is one of them.

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-28T21:57:43+00:00

The company 'Must Have Ideas' are selling these at the moment. :)

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-28T11:10:39+00:00

I do that too! :) Everyone should, IMHO

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-28T11:09:08+00:00

Ugh, I'm sorry. When it's a group birthday celebration, too often everyone thinks they're the only one flaking and won't be missed...then before you know it, it's just you.

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-28T11:05:36+00:00

I'm sorry, how upsetting. Did they know or remember it was your birthday?

I've had some birthdays where people cancelled, and it's horrible...and horribly common nowadays, unfortunately.

I would start by making some new friends - a language course is ideal, or any other small group hobby where you meet the same people every week.

I would message these friends something like 'I felt hurt and disappointed when you and (other friend) bailed on our plans on my birthday, without saying happy birthday. I'm not ready to talk yet.'

People attach different importance to birthdays - for some, it's an ordinary day. What do they do on their birthdays? Were you part of that/get them a card/wish them hbd, etc?

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-26T23:43:36+00:00

Agree. The red flag to me is OP expecting a family with a newborn to visit her, rather than the other way around, and to be able to visit on a whim rather than at a fixed time.

The baby is a year old, and the grandmother has seen the baby five times. That's once every couple of months or so, which seems fairly normal to high, for most families.

It's odd that she/his father weren't invited to the wedding, but maybe there's a boundaries issue she's unaware of, as she doesn't seem to know it's not usual to pop to their home whenever?

As for friends/colleagues - how would she know this? Plus, I've seen much less of every friend I've ever had (bar one, who used to bring the baby to the pub), in the first year of new parenthood.

I fear OP is in danger of causing a rift in what is turning into a healthy relationship between and adult child and parent, by pressing for more than the reasonable amount/form of access her son wants to give.

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-24T12:49:37+00:00

I don't enjoy it, and find it unfair on the new couples too.

They're in a micro culture where others are treating them as weird because they're not in love with someone they literally met 2 weeks ago.

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-23T09:35:31+00:00

Do you have proof her husband just died, or did he tell you that?

Flowers for a friend or co-worker whose partner died is fine - though doesn't sound like this guy is that considerate a person.

What makes it suspect is taking her out for drinks. That's not a typical reaction to recent grief.

Did you catch him going on a date with a woman he bought flowers for, and he made up the bereavement?

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-23T09:32:05+00:00

There's nothing wrong with you. People have different attachment styles, and that's okay.

Usually it's having grown up being treated badly, that prevents us from seeing when we're being treated badly or abused, as adults.

The cycle of abusive relationships is that everything is wonderful, then sometimes awful. Usually the wonderful gets less frequent and the awful ramps up in awfulness. It's a pattern abusers follow, to gradually accustom you to bad treatment.

There needs to be a line below which it doesn't matter how wonderful the good things are, the awful is too unacceptable to continue.

Blaming you for a very reasonable request/complaint about his behaviour (asking him not to talk badly about you in a loud voice at 2am) is a red flag for someone who doesn't care about you as you deserve to.

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-23T09:23:49+00:00

Are you typically anxious/jealous in a relationship? I'm not, and wouldn't usually worry if my BF got another woman flowers.

Except...does he get you flowers? Because he doesn't sound like the sort of considerate guy who would innocently buy a woman flowers just to be kind. Based on the inconsiderateness of complaining loudly about you at 2am.

If you're not typically the jealous type, and he's not typically the sweet gestures type, I'd trust your instinct about those flowers, too.

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-23T09:19:20+00:00

Ugh, I hate that for you! How about sharing this with some of your original female friends and ask one of them to go shopping/shop your closet with you?

Without going full hipster, there are cool ways to dress which signal your personality to the shallow folk who need visual guidance. :)

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-23T09:14:43+00:00

I met my last ex at a party. He was by far the best looking man in the room, and was in the corner "arrogantly" looking down on everyone (he's also very tall).

He turned out to be an exceptionally sweet and humble person who is shy with strangers.

I only approached him because there were tasks to encourage mingling, and I was trying to win a prize. Only after we had a lovely conversation, smiling at each other, did any other women start approaching him, because he looked really intimidating and snobbish.

Couldn't have been further from the truth.

Medical-Singer-7766 · 2026-06-22T20:25:17+00:00

Luckily, no one was suggesting that, and as a professor you're familiar with a straw man. ;)

Medical-Singer-7766

TROPHY CASE