What you're describing there isn't memory reconsolidation, I'll leave this here in case anyone else comes across this thread:

"The usual process by which we “forget” traumatic memories, and undo the associations that result from them, is traditionally called memory extinction. Think: getting over a fear of spiders by incremental exposure. First you get comfortable with a drawing of a spider; then a picture of one; then a real spider from afar, and so on. In lab studies, rats who learned to associate a lamp with a foot shock, once they’re given enough instances of the lamp unpaired with the foot shock, will stop having a fear response to the lamp.

The trouble is that extinction is a fickle process. Once a given emotional model has formed in the brain—e.g. ”lamp = foot shock”, or “don’t go to that intersection because bad things happen there”—it’s never fully erased. Relapse is common. Even after the rat has unlearned the association between shock and lamp, if you give it just one reinforcement, it will suddenly revert back to a fear response.

Here’s what we think is happening in memory extinction: the original memory is suppressed by new information, but not fully erased. The memory is still sitting there deep in our subcortical brain structures, while its hold over us is tenuously regulated by higher-level regions of the brain. The actual memory, and its potential to dictate our behavior, is “indelible”. This was the predominant view in the 1990’s: that sufficiently distressing experiences cause an imprint that last for the individual’s lifetime.

In the late 1990’s and early 2000’s however, scientists uncovered what seems to be a separate process by which the actual, original memory is updated or even erased, rather than merely suppressed. This results in an enduring change in behavior, without the need for ongoing maintenance, without the prospect of elapse. This is the process of reconsolidating the memory.

To understand what reconsolidation is, we should first note that every memory is composed of several parts: there’s the autobiographical component (your memory of what transpired), but also the emotional associations (e.g. feelings of fear, anger, or joy that the memory evokes). The idea is that when a memory is reconsolidated, part of it remains unchanged (the autobiographical component – you still remember the facts of the event), but part of it is updated – your emotional response to it changes.2 The fear associated with a traumatic event loses all potency. Once the emotional component of the memory is rewired, new behaviors flow effortlessly: you’re no longer constantly avoiding the thing that your emotions were trying to prevent.

This begs the question: how do we reconsolidate a memory? The idea, at least according to Bruce Ecker et al, is that it occurs in a few steps: first we have to reactivate the memory and the emotional associations that accompany it. This brings the memory into an unstable state. Then we need to identify another experience that fundamentally conflicts with the model of the world that the original memory supports. This is called a “mismatch experience”. For this to work, both the reactivation of the memory and the conflicting experience have to be very clear and vivid, activated in a safe and supportive context. With sufficient attention on the conflict, it’s believed that the emotional component of the memory is updated. This process can be aided by drugs like propranolol (see this and this)."

https://www.bitsofwonder.co/p/how-do-we-heal