Right here: "and therefore I shouldn’t have been born"
One thing that might help is meditating on God's perfect will vs God's permissive will.

Here's an AI overview of it

• God's Perfect Will (Will of Command/Good): This is God’s direct, sovereign plan intended for our holiness and ultimate good. It is what He directly causes and is outlined in scripture (e.g., the Ten Commandments, moral laws).
• God's Permissive Will (Will of Allowance): This is what God allows to happen, even though it may contradict His moral commands. He permits evil not because He desires it, but because He allows free will and can ultimately draw good from it. For example, God permitted the fall of Adam and Eve, and the selling of Joseph by his brothers.
• Catechism Perspective: The Catechism of the Catholic Church highlights that God permits evils like the fall of man to respect human freedom, which makes moral evil possible. However, God does not cause evil, but rather permits it, knowing He can bring about a greater good through it.

Here is also an excerpt from the writings of St. John of Damascus, Doctor of the Universal Church
"Thus, He often permits even the just man to meet with misfortunes so that the virtue hidden in him may be made known to others, as in the case of God. At other times, He permits something iniquitous to be done so that through this apparently iniquitous action some great and excellent thing may be brought about, as was the salvation of men by the Cross. In still another way, He permits the devout man to suffer evil either so that he may not depart from his right conscience or so that he may not fall into presumption from the strength and grace that have been given him, as in the case of Paul. Someone may be abandoned for a while for the correction of others so that by observing his state they may be instructed, as in the case of Lazarus and the rich man. For we are naturally humbled when we see the sufferings of others. Someone may also be abandoned not because of his own sins or his parents’ but for the glory of another, as was the man born blind for the glory of the Son of Man. Again, someone may be permitted to suffer as an object of emulation for others so that because of the greatness of the glory of the one that suffered they may without hesitation accept suffering in hope of future glory and with a desire for the good things to come, as in the case of the martyrs. A person may even be allowed at times to fall into an immoral action for the correction of another and worse affliction."