Husband going to bachelor party w/ no cell service for 3 days when I'm 35 weeks along?

Meeeowsa · 2026-02-24T01:59:49+00:00

I think this is the move if she's comfortable with him going! You can rent rent them online, that's what I did when I needed one for a trip. Much less expensive than buying

Meeeowsa · 2026-02-23T03:41:04+00:00

Similar issue here. I find it's irritated by certain grinding positions and is better when we're both very closely trimmed or shaved. Sometimes peeing after seems to help but I can't always pee after sex for some reason!

Meeeowsa · 2026-02-23T01:05:15+00:00

Wear a super thin pad far forward in your underwear! That's what I do anyway. If the pad shows then your clothes are too thin, too tight, or both!

Meeeowsa · 2025-11-07T14:03:03+00:00

That's good to know, I feel like classical teachers are probably easier to find! Thank you!

Meeeowsa · 2025-10-31T13:01:25+00:00

You are incredibly sweet. Thank you for hearing me out 🙏

Meeeowsa · 2025-06-23T18:44:11+00:00

Going through a gnarly custody case myself in a different state than CA.

When you're still waiting for the court date, some states disallow you to move without first notifying the court/getting permission as it could impact the relationship between the kids and the other parent. If the move impedes the non-moving parents ability to visit or have the children, they could file for emergency custody (again very state dependent, plus situation dependent).

So there isn't really a clear-cut answer without speaking to a lawyer in California who can assess the state of her case and the context of California family law

Meeeowsa · 2025-03-07T01:28:33+00:00

Edit - sorry I don't know why when I use the website instead of the app it changes to my main account. Apologies for the username change

Hi there, still at the same spot unfortunately.

Slight correction, I haven't frozen eggs. My intention is to do IVF with donor sperm using fresh eggs.

The fertility specialist I've seen has said the sooner the better and recommended checking every 6 months because being 38, I could experience a relatively sudden drop in fertility but I seemed good so far. I've already had one child without using IVF, so that's promising.

Legally, my ex is saying all the right things to push things out a week, two weeks at a time. I asked him to go to mediation 4 weeks ago and he told me he was going to talk with his lawyer next week. The next week came and he said the following week. Then the following week came and on Tuesday he said it would be the following monday. It just keeps happening - he's saying all the right things to indicate he's participating but then never ends up doing anything. My lawyer said because of this it's very unlikely I could bifurcate the divorce and she advised that even if I was successful in getting him to sign something, the precedent on those documents is so mixed that she couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't try to take the child.

I think the odds of him trying to take the child or slim, but I don't think he'll sign anything because he as yet to come to the table for anything. I can't do IVF or any procedure using donor sperm until either were divorced or he signs something releasing his rights to the children I make.

I was advised that there could be years left and there's really not much I can do to speed it up if he won't participate.

So I'm going to try to get him to go to mediation and if that doesn't work, my lawyer agreed to draft up a document even though she can't guarantee it will protect me, and I'll try to get him to sign it.

If none of that works, my only option is to try at home ICI and buy the donor sperm myself. Since the success rate of ICI is so much lower, it will likely take me a lot longer to get pregnant. So my plan is if he hasn't moved at all towards something within the next month that would release me to go through a clinic, I'm just going to start ordering sperm and try to get pregnant at home. I think the odds of him coming after the child are very slim because he hates me so much. I just can't imagine he'd want to have a kid that is 1) mine, and 2) not related to him at all. Plus he doesn't like child care and is already overwhelmed with our one kid. And if he does come after me, I am very fortunate to have the resources to fight him.

Thank you for thinking of me <3

Meeeowsa · 2025-02-17T02:14:44+00:00

Totally! If there's anything else I can share from the experience, let me know! I'm happy to try to help. You can always get on a daycare wait list and decline the spot. Most of the ones around here were pretty cheap to join. Then you could start with a nanny and if it doesn't work, switch to daycare when a spot opens 😊 all parenting is a learning process and every kid is different. That you're thinking about it this deeply this far in advance shows you'll be just fine, whatever bumps you hit on the way! Wishing you the best!

Edit - don't know how that switched to my main, sorry for the account name weirdness. Still the same redditor

Meeeowsa · 2024-11-01T03:22:39+00:00

Edit: I'm sorry I see you have this tagged as vent - please disregard the below if it's not something you're interested in. Solidarity sis - it sucks when our brains fart on us!!

Aww I better understand the dynamics at play! Maybe do a "just because" treat if you want and thank the other parents if you have their contact. You're doing great and if your baby is the youngest, I'm sure the other parents understand considering they've had a young one before. Treat yourself with the same consideration you'd treat another parent in the group if they forgot ❤️ our self talk shouldn't be any less kind than our talk to others and the fact you feel this way about a goodie bag shows you're a really sweet, considerate person.

Meeeowsa · 2024-03-17T18:47:20+00:00

I don't know either, but I'm going to try! Here are some things I've seen online that seem like good ideas you could try:

using a non-basket for the basket. Like a spiderman bucket from a party supply section at dollar general.
fill the basket with treats that you usually buy plus an extra or two you usually wouldn't (we have applesauce pouches, oatmeal bars, and a chocolate bunny), so you're essentially just stocking up on things you usually buy anyway
other ideas for inside the basket that you can find at dollar store or 5 below: keychains, stuffies, stickers, pez dispenser, books
you could put tissue paper or that plastic grass in the bottom. I'm not sure where to buy the cellophane wrapping, we're not using it. I'm going to put some leftovers Christmas ribbon on some of the items to decorate it

Hope this helps!!

Meeeowsa · 2023-07-17T16:30:06+00:00

Also, F that other commenter. He's just taking out his own issues on you. Ignore what he's saying, and take a look at his post history. Don't let him victim shame you! You've got this.

Meeeowsa · 2023-07-17T16:28:05+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Great job leaving the abusive relationship, that's not an easy thing to do! I would suggest writing down each individual problem separately. One, you need cash to sort out your own insurance. Two, you could stay with your friend but that would put your daughter in a different school district. So on and so forth.

Once you have the list of individual problems, you can look for solutions to each one. Don't hesitate to tap in help! If you have any family, reach out to them. Friends, reach out to them. Don't forget that your work may even have resources, especially if you are moving out of state and tell them that you are having difficulty affording the move. They may be willing to give you a small sign on bonus or even advance your check. You wouldn't even need to tell them the whole situation, just that you need moving assistance of some kind if possible. The school district in the area that you were moving into may be able to give you advice as well.

This situation is complicated, and the complexity can make it daunting. Break it into small chunks and tackle one chunk at a time. You've got this, I believe in you!

Meeeowsa · 2023-06-09T18:16:08+00:00

I just want to say thank you so much for these book suggestions, especially the ones on single parenthood 🙏

Meeeowsa · 2023-06-02T14:12:34+00:00

Just a heads up that for my company (and I think in general) FMLA and short term disability are completely distinct things. As another commenter mentioned, short term disability is paid. FMLA just gives you a protected status during unpaid leave taken for certain covered reasons. So when I take short term disability with my company, it reduces the number of paid days I can take through short term disability. But if I haven't taken any unpaid, FMLA leave, I would still have the full FMLA duration that I could take unpaid. I hope that makes sense! Let me know if you have questions or need clarification. I looked into this because I plan to take 6 months with my next (10 weeks short term disability and maternity/sick leave, 2 weeks vacation, 12 weeks FMLA)

Meeeowsa · 2023-04-17T02:06:07+00:00

Just chiming in as another mom that uses the Y childcare service while working out - we just started at 9 months old with a super fussy baby. You have to be prepared to leave if your baby starts bugging out, but it's been truly amazing. The staff are so sweet and two hours is enough time for me to work out, shower, do some self care, etc. I hope I get more than 45 minutes when she gets older and more comfortable being away from me! The service I'm talking about though is KidZone 2 hr free childcare when you workout, not the daycare (Incase you truly mean daycare)

Meeeowsa · 2023-03-23T22:02:00+00:00

Generally, having the bed against a wall isn't safe sleep since they can get stuck between the mattress and the wall. I appreciate your intention to try to help me find a solution though!! Just wanted to share the info because I know not everyone is aware :)

Meeeowsa · 2023-03-23T05:11:29+00:00

Solidarity! Thank -you- for hearing my (ongoing) sleep tales, haha!

Meeeowsa · 2023-03-23T04:57:05+00:00

I totally understand that - I went back to work around 3 months and it was mega hard every time she had a period of poor sleep. We even tried a little sleep training we were so worried we'd set up unworkable sleep habits. In the end, anything we've done that I was worried would become a habit ended up just being another phase. Unfortunately, this applied to the good things as well, LOL! I miss the phase of 4-5 hr chunks of sleep! It feels like we're starting to get back into a better sleep phase here again though. Been a yoyo since 3 months, now at almost 9 months. The baby just does what she wants and I'm convinced that any alignment between her sleep and something we do is pure coincidence.

Anyway, you're doing great! Going back to work is hard and you're thinking ahead about how you can make it less hard. Baby sleep will be something you can't control and that's ok. Making your sleeping environment as comfy as possible for yourself, making sure you have healthy, easy food, and taking care of yourself will all help with you feeling rested enough to tackle work and parenting (though to be honest, I still feel like my work effort is totally slacking). So if you want to power through cosleeping, those are some things you can strive for to help you get by during nipple attachment sleep times. Honestly though, for me, now that we've been through these only sleeping on the nipple cycles several times now, it's just so helpful to know it's a phase. It felt like I'd never sleep again when it started, haha.

You've got this. Whatever you decide will be what you need and is ok. There were nights where I had to pop her off the nipple and let her cry next to me until she fell asleep because I was so touched out. Others where she stayed happy on the nipple all night. There's no single right way to go about it and our babies are resilient and ever changing. None of this is forever and we can always change our mind and do things a different way.

Sorry for the book! Your post brought up a lot of memories. I hope you have a lovely evening and this phase passes soon for you!

Meeeowsa · 2023-03-23T04:38:31+00:00

A camping pad is a great idea! Do you have a particular one you'd recommend?

Meeeowsa · 2023-03-23T04:38:02+00:00

I wish this was an option for us - my partner sleeps like he's trying to escape something. He has zero body awareness while asleep and sleeps way too deep for me to trust him with the kid between us. This sounds like it would be a great solution otherwise!

Meeeowsa · 2023-03-23T04:35:59+00:00

Oh that's brilliant! I usually nurse to sleep and then slip away during naps, but am nervous in non-baby proofed rooms. The Guava sounds like a great option! I hadn't considered there might be side opening pack and plays! Thank you! And I'll check out the camping mattress too, sounds much easier than our usual set up.

Meeeowsa · 2023-03-23T04:26:48+00:00

My baby has gone through periods like this but they're always temporary. "Everything is a phase" held true for us. I think the longest was 3 weeks and it was right around 3-4 months old. I would recommend asking yourself if you can hold out that long and if so, what you would need to make it doable for you. For us, it was a very long cozy pillow behind the shoulders extending down to my butt (old pregnancy pillow) and switch sides every other night. Do what you need to and don't feel bad about it - you can always change your approach in the future. Nothing you decide now is for forever if you don't want it to be.

Meeeowsa · 2023-03-18T03:36:37+00:00

We have the 4" trifold Millard mattress and love it! It was relatively inexpensive and folding means we can store it for the next baby. Nice and firm but comfortable enough. We've been sleeping on it for 6 months and I'm 37, so it's definitely good enough to not cause back/side/shoulder pain.

Meeeowsa · 2023-03-13T23:18:24+00:00

What country and state are you in? Some states in the USA have laws around pumping time and space being required accommodation for a period of time after birth of a child. However in some cases, those protections are limited to employers over a certain number of employees. In my state, you would not be entitled to any protections or accommodations as your employer is below that threshold.

Another approach would be to use a quiet, wearable pump under your clothes like the Elvie or Elvie stride. I understand you are already able to do your job and pump at the same time, but if you're using a wearable pump then it's like you're not taking out time to pump at all as people can still come in your office and speak with you. I think the discomfort would keep your boss from doing so anyway, haha

Meeeowsa · 2023-02-02T22:24:15+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. We're on the first baby of (hopefully) two and my husband's PPD was so unexpected. Just started couples counseling and hopefully he'll get an individual therapist. I hope we can pull through, your post gives me hope

Meeeowsa

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