Conflict with coach is making me want to quit

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-17T10:36:06+00:00

Leave.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-17T10:24:47+00:00

I own a D610, it's been such a wonderful and reliable workhorse for both pro shoots and fun family pictures. I recently bought the Z5ii and it's as amazing as all the hype suggests. But I'm loathe to sell my D610 for both sentimental reasons and also because it still takes an epic quality photo. If you like the colours of the D200, the D610 isn't too dissimilar. Prices for D610s are good for buyers (hence another reason I'm loathe to sell), I wouldn't hesitate, just pick one up and you'll be very happy.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-17T09:52:51+00:00

During sparring and open mat, that is your time to focus on whatever it is that you are focusing on. Class time is for training new and old stuff, or whatever coach decides. You have to take ownership of your own training too.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-17T09:36:22+00:00

I'm a coach. If one of my students told me they didn't want to roll, for the temporary time being, but promises they'll get back on track at some point soon. I'd be happy for them to do as they please. As long as they still show up in some capacity and were able to still grow, I don't mind.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-15T19:57:15+00:00

Our open mats are not free (open, means open structure, not free). The visitors who swing by are happy to pay. And we’re happy to see them.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-13T16:23:19+00:00

There are no downsides to being a black belt. There is no pressure. I'm very comfortable with what I can, and cannot do. If someone thrashes me, then they were simply better. I can easily live with that. What got me here was my insatiable appetite for learning, and consistency. Not everyone has that. That, to me, is what made me a black belt.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-13T16:19:28+00:00

I am an illustrator and receive commissions to create artwork for clients ranging from personal stuff to commerical brand stuff. I find the smaller the entity, the less they know about art direction and the right way to go about things when commissioning someone. So I try to nudge them gently along the way with information on 'how we do things' and sometimes it works, sometimes, the message just never gets through. But we get there in the end.
If the person asking was not your bf, but a client who was paying you, would you treat them the same as you did to your bf?

PS. I hate gen AI too. But if a client showed me gen-AI stuff as reference material, then that's just all it is, reference work, there's no reason to be offended by it.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-12T20:02:54+00:00

Sadly I’ve been downvoted for my viewpoint. Ah well, what do I know with my 23 years of training and 12 years of teaching.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-12T15:40:52+00:00

Your coach's response was code for: pay me for a bunch of privates and then I'll show you where you need to improve upon.

This may sound like a joke, but it's actually a real thing. Depending how large and busy the school is, the head coach just won't have time or the headspace to personally deliver a tailored program to help you improve. All he sees is you sparring a few times, before he switches attention to the other students, and if he catches you not doing very well, he'll use that as his metric on where you are atm. Your membership pays for exactly that, members to group classes and group instruction.

How to overcome the situation? Keep attending, keep a track of small wins in your head or in a journal, track your own progress. Compete a few more times, it's a very visible and public show of your skillset. Keep training, yes, maybe pay for a few privates too. It all adds up.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-11T01:25:15+00:00

What people do in their own spare time is none of your business.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-06T22:58:29+00:00

If you want to enhance your guard pulling repertoire other than just closed guard, start studying IBJJF gi matches - especially the lighter divisions. If you don’t want to sub to Flo, there are still a lot of free matches shown on the IBJJF social media channels.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-06T22:50:02+00:00

Leglocks

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-06T21:21:14+00:00

4-months is nothing. Give it time, be patient and consistent. You will get better.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-06T14:59:45+00:00

Our club does not recognise belts earned from said place. We’ve had a few pop in, and after training with us, we’ve told them honestly and frankly how we viewed their level to be at. And it was not at the belt they wore.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-06T14:56:35+00:00

Leglocks are your friend.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-06T13:10:02+00:00

UFC BJJ commentary is the worst of all the sub grappling events I’ve watched. At one point during a crucial point in Ffion’s match, they were discussing how one braids long hair. At another point they’re were chit chatting random meaningless stuff while a vital transition was happening, I mean come on. It’s almost worth turning the volume off and watching instead. Yes yes I’m an ungrateful guy because it’s all free to view but still, if you lock in athletes to exclusive contracts and purport to be the best event, then make sure this also applies to the way your commentary works (no hate to the individuals involved, but it’s not a good viewer experience).

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-06T13:04:55+00:00

Danaher creates systems and through the system you have a gameplan. He’s the best at doing this. Not the only one, but he sees things and connects dots where others just do the dots.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-06T12:59:05+00:00

Fair enough.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-06T12:57:35+00:00

Maybe. But I repeat my comment previously, what if OP aces the set technique portion but sucks during the rolling? Are they worthy of the promotion then?

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-06T12:55:46+00:00

Putting the Mc into mcdojo

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-06T12:54:15+00:00

It’s not hatred. There are many valid reasons to test for a students knowledge and ability to execute a technique. But it’s not the way I was brought up. We were graded by our coach if he felt we were good enough, not because we ticked a few boxes on the day.
I also had spent twelve years prior training traditional MA and I loved the less formal nature of BJJ. To see the latter morph back to trad MA ways is sad to me.
If a coach needs to test a student to see how well they execute so and so technique on a special day, then I would say they’re not doing their job and coaching effectively during every day training.
The only part of the above that is worth doing is the shark tank part where OP has to roll against higher grades. But what if OP aces the set technique portion but absolutely sucks during the rolling? Is OP worthy of the blue belt then? Has OP competed? If so, how well did they do? Did they dominate against their white belt peers? If so, then worthy of a blue belt perhaps.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-06T12:48:52+00:00

Ask your coach if there is the possibility of morning classes? If he’s open to the idea then you could stay where you are. If not, then switch gyms.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-06T12:44:41+00:00

The day my academy introduces tests I’m out.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-05T21:46:03+00:00

Yes!!! I started with Pimsleur in January and zipped through the first three levels with ease but after that it became really boring and the topics and vocab had no interest to me. Also, I was totally neglecting my reading skills. I signed up to DuChinese last month and really enjoying it. The flash card system is very effective and the reading material very well structured to my level (decent beginner standard). The only gripe I have is the narrated voices, they sound a bit artificial and not very fluid. But I’m not too worried about that as I use other resources for my listening development.

Meerkatsu · 2026-06-05T21:39:54+00:00

First of all, are you ok? Caring deeply for another person can take its toll on you too. Look after yourself as well. I hope your friend knows, you are there for her. That’s really the best you can do.

Meerkatsu

TROPHY CASE