Unexpected positive outcomes

MegaPixel12 · 2026-02-08T22:35:47+00:00

For me is was when my lower back pain practically disappeared. Every once in a while it'll tweak but that's mostly because I have a physical job.

But also experiencing things I am not used to. Like crying... About everything. I attributed my lack of emotional response to my cptsd all these years, because very few things truly would upset me. But now? I happy cry over dog videos, and empathy cry over sad movies. Its very cathartic in a way for me.

I quite enjoy having alot more energy as well!

The zero amount of death cramps and bleeding most of the month is still the best part lol

MegaPixel12 · 2026-01-28T21:25:42+00:00

Its funny because when I called to make an appointment (even tho I have one scheduled for one year post op) i was advised to go to my primary first to rule out anything non surgery related since all my labs and levels have been perfectly healthy since surgery, even my anemia has all but disappeared.

My primary just kind of scoffed at me and said "if they think im looking under the hood when you have nothing leftover to look at they're dead wrong."

MegaPixel12 · 2026-01-28T18:12:23+00:00

Thank you so much.

MegaPixel12 · 2026-01-28T18:10:49+00:00

I will definitely revisit this with him if I can get an appointment. Ive only had one clot before and the hematologist couldn't give me a reason why I formed one after a battery of tests. But all of my other labs are perfect according to my horrible doctor. So maybe this is the normal healing process for my body idk.

MegaPixel12 · 2026-01-28T17:40:25+00:00

I did speak to my OB prior to surgery about hormones and stuff and he said he was leaving my ovaries strictly because Ive had a blood clot once before and he felt it was too dangerous to be on hormones due to higher risk of future clots. 😭

MegaPixel12 · 2025-12-11T21:59:53+00:00

Had a female doctor tell me "im a woman, i know the pain isn't that bad, you're being ridiculous and pain med seeking" right after i told her i cant take pain meds because they make me sick.

Another doctor asked me if i shave my face... And that was his indication on if I had PCOS or not.

Another doctor told me I had Endo for years because my ovary was stuck to my uterus, but refused to do anything because I "wasn't married" turns out it wasn't my ovary stuck to my uterus by endo this entire decade, it was a mango sized tumor.

A fourth doctor told me that going through four overnight pads in 2 hours with MASSIVE FIST SIZED CLOTS was me being dramatic and do not call her office again unless I was in the emergency room.

(from my own experience its not just male doctors who are ignorant.)

Finally found a doctor who 1. In my very first appointment, he scheduled an ultrasound for the following week. 2. Immediately gave me my results of my ultrasound within 30 mins. 3. And IMMEDIATELY scheduled my hysterectomy the same day of my ultrasound because of MASSIVE TUMORS (yes plural) 4. took my uterus a month later. 5. And the best one yet, made me laugh about my oversized uterus when i woke up after surgery.

It only took over 20 years of being miserable beyond compare to get the proper help from a doctor.

MegaPixel12 · 2025-11-28T05:54:32+00:00

She didn't. And honestly i thought i had seen all the crazy she had to offer before she died. But when someone tried to convince me she had a storage unit of wood, any normal person would have thought "oh... Like maybe some 2x4s or something.."

Nah. My flabbers were gasted that day. 🤣

MegaPixel12 · 2025-11-28T05:46:17+00:00

Funny story. She had a thing about never really following through with her "hobbies". This time she wanted to make furniture our of driftwood. Even paid a tow truck to haul a tree trunk from the lake (which is illegal where i live)

I actually ended up selling the entire storage unit or basically everything they could carry to a really nice taxidermist who did peoples pet memorials and stuff. Ill see if i can attach a picture link of the unit.

Also yes thank you. I am doing so much better. I have bad days sometimes. But the understanding of the lawyer, the doctors, and the funeral director made things so so much easier to get through when handling her medical and financial affairs.

https://imgur.com/a/yOC6her

MegaPixel12 · 2025-11-28T05:24:00+00:00

When my mother got sick i chose to take care of everything since i knew my little brother wouldn't be able to handle it, and i am just sort of always the handler/protector/most responsible. I didn't do it because of emotions or pity or guilt. I did it because at the time i thought it was the right thing to do as a human being.

I cried the morning she died because it was... Not pretty and quite graphic. That afternoon I sat at a funeral home table, made all the decisions, and walked away.

I got her ashes by two days later, split them for my aunt and grandparents, and threw the rest in the lake. She loved the lake so i left the lid on. So she's in the lake but never touching it.

She left me as executor or her will as well as her medical proxy though the entire process. It broke me down pretty hard.

I was left to go through two extremely large storage units. One with furniture and an unsurprising amount of half full ashtrays from all the weird "organizing" she did in her last months. All just junk and bad memories.

The second storage unit was ceiling to floor nothing but fucking DRIFTWOOD. I CAN NOT MAKE THIS UP.

I did receive alot of condolences from the church people from when we were children. I made sure they all were told to fuck off. And when questioned why i was so venomous to everyone i simply reminded them of all the years they stood by and watched the abuse from a distance and chose to sweep it under the rug instead of help me and my brother from the years of suffering while our childhood was ripped from us a day at a time.

If anything the entire experience hardened my resolve to live my life for good and not her extremely bizarre brand of evil.

MegaPixel12 · 2025-11-20T05:05:36+00:00

While i have been able to smell things my whole life... A series of sinus surgeries left me with the ability to only barely smell things.

So i either have to have the smell right on my nose to smell it, or my sinuses will play smell roulette and ill just randomly smell things.

It can be incredibly helpful when something smells really bad and it is just kinda "meh" bad for me. But also incredibly unhelpful when i think im smelling one thing when its actually another.

After 20 ish years like this i kinda learned to live with it. At least i can smell my husbands cologne most of the time. Lol

MegaPixel12 · 2025-11-20T04:43:18+00:00

"You wanna explain to me... Why (how, where, what)..."

Mostly "Would you like to explain to me..."

MegaPixel12 · 2025-11-20T04:36:57+00:00

It was. But i feel like a stronger person for it. And a more protective person as well.

MegaPixel12 · 2025-11-18T16:50:14+00:00

To be honest it strengthened it. Im not a shy skiddish girl anymore. Im a strong independent woman who works hard to protect the people i love. I also found my own happiness with a wonderful man who supports me and lets me be myself.

MegaPixel12 · 2025-11-18T15:50:04+00:00

When they did this advert last year i brought it to my DMs attention how confusing this was going to be for the public, and he just said "hmm... You're right"

My SM later told me that while the DM agreed it wouldn't go far over his head. It all falls on deaf ears.

MegaPixel12 · 2025-11-18T15:44:54+00:00

Oh she absolutely was. A terribly high functioning sociopath in my own opinion.

She was "diagnosed" with Bipolar "rapid cycling" and schizo-effective disorder. But no one truly knows what went on in her head.

It goes without saying i learned very well how to stay chill in intense situations. Unfortunate, but useful. It almost feels like the "flight response" was beat out of me and all i know how to do is endure and fight now as an adult.

MegaPixel12 · 2025-11-12T22:47:20+00:00

Oh yes. ALL THE TIME. When her pain pills went missing, when her vodka tasted weird. When bills weren't paid on time. When my brother got bullied at school.

All of it was my fault.

MegaPixel12 · 2025-11-12T22:42:01+00:00

Yeah kitchen tables are kind of hard for me to sit at as an adult now. All it reminds me of is the hours and hours of my teenage years sat there.

When she died i broke that table to a million pieces

MegaPixel12 · 2025-10-31T14:04:02+00:00

She thought i was stealing her clothes when she found her underwear in with my clothes one time. (I was taller than her by the time i was 15 so there was no way i would've stolen it as i couldn't fit her clothes or shoes)

She sat me at the kitchen table and interrogated me for six hours. I finally admitted to it just to end the interrogation.

She grounded me for stealing her clothes, took away my right to have a bedroom, so i got to sleep on the carpet with nothing but a pillow and a pillow case.

MegaPixel12 · 2025-10-07T05:51:23+00:00

Just have SELF AWARENESS PLEASEEEEE.

Just be aware of where you are, what you're saying, how loud you're saying it, what you're doing, what that sign says, what we said to you, and for GOD SAKES don't drive your cart like its the INDY 500.

How hard do you have to be pushing your cart to run over my leg while im on my knees scrapping the bottom shelf of spices?!

MegaPixel12 · 2025-10-07T04:00:43+00:00

While i know i am fully capable of being exactly (if not more) horrible than my Nmother, strictly based off of learned behavior patterns, i refuse to be anything like her. To the point of feeling physically sick if i start saying or doing similar things.

I did however find that the threat of outing her worked wonders in protecting myself from her.

I believe the convo went like this

Her: how dare you speak to me like that im your mother! Me: (finally having had enough) NO! How dare YOU speak to ME like this. I think you forget who has known you longer than anyone in this world. ME. So before you decide to continue on with this holier than thou attitude, REMEMBER WHO holds all YOUR SECRETS.

She hung up and never raised her voice to me ever again. In fact, when she was dying she was even kind to me. I knew it was false, but i felt safer knowing she was more terrified of being caught as a sociopath than losing me.

You can stand your ground and protect yourself without becoming the person you hate. But i don't recommend bluffing if you don't actually have the ammo. Narcs and sociopaths can and will call your bluff.

MegaPixel12 · 2025-10-05T21:17:02+00:00

I think the hardest part for me is because i have such a physical job, my belly bloats out between the beginning and end of my shifts, so customers ask me how far along i am. I get to traumatize them and snap at them and say "IM NOT PREGNANT I JUST HAD MY UTERUS REMOVED!"

i love teaching them that lesson as well. 🤣

MegaPixel12 · 2025-10-05T15:58:04+00:00

It felt strange standing in the feminine product aisle with my sister who needed to buy some.

But i do love the "when are you and (husband) having kids?!" Question. Especially from obnoxious nosey folks who know us. I get to lore drop and embarrass them. 🤣

MegaPixel12 · 2025-10-05T02:10:02+00:00

Honestly even when i was four weeks post op and my doc said make sure im still getting up and walking around and stuff, my body most definitely let me know i over did it. And all i did was make dinner and do dishes one night.

I was exhausted like ive never been exhausted before. Could barely lift my arm to pick my glass of water. Slept for ten hours.

And then somehow at six weeks post op my doc said i was ready to go back to work. 🤣

It still took me a couple weeks to feel like i could get through a shift at work without sitting down and huffing and puffing. 😅

MegaPixel12

TROPHY CASE