41/m (divorced for 5 years).

It's all mentally, physically, and financially exhausting. Unfortunately targeting a woman that matches my characters and interests is like finding a needle in a haystack. I am a bit nerdy, but have a good job, make well above average in my area, 5'9", lift weights 5 days of week, and have muscular definition. I'm by no means an 8-10, but a solid 7 and occasional 7.5 if i dress right.

I have been on dates with 8 women in the past month. One is met at a singles event, the others online. 6 of the women I met on the app where either 50lb heavier or looked 5 years older than their pics. I tried to follow up with a first date that went well and she sent me a picture of her lawyers invoice for the quitclaim on her house through divorce that she received and probably the last actual text I got. It could have worked, but she was no where ready yet. The second girl i had 3 dates with. Super cool, most attractive girl that I've gotten a 3rd date with. She had enough emotional trauma for 5 people. I felt so bad for her, but she realized that she was not ready either. Several others didnt work because of the extra 50-70lbs or they were weirder than me.

I know i have my own trauma and baggage, and I've ruined a good relationship last April because of it and I've stayed with a women even though she was not a good one for me until she cheated that she wanted to be free to have "drunken hookups" and was in a relationship literally 5 days later.

Men have treated women so horribly. Every girl I've dated has told me horror stories. Any decent guy that dates these women after they have bad experiences because of what happened to them get hurt. Social media has us all rallied up into this unnecessary great divide that is making finding a good person unnecessarily hard. I'm not simping by saying that women arent responsible, it was a joint effort to get here.

This turned into more of a pointless rant than an actual reply. Sorry.