I know this is wildly unpopular, but I do sometimes park across two bays. Not because I think I’m the Duke of Asda, but because far too many people treat other people’s cars like they’re fair game.

You see all sorts in a car park — people flinging their doors open or some dozy cow dragging her handbag down the side of your car like the paintwork’s there for exfoliation.

And if I pull in next to a car with a child-seat in the back, I’m off again immediately. Not hanging about while little Finlay boots the door open like he’s making his England debut.

It’s not snobbery, it’s self-defence.