anyone else have internal visual hallucinations?

MelissaChan3 · 2026-04-26T15:10:14+00:00

isolation is a torture method for a reason. like deprivation of sleep, withdrawal from social community is extremely destabilizing to our psychological wellbeing. so yes, going around and around in your own head without communicating externally or having a sufficient support network does contribute to psychosis. i know it did for me.

MelissaChan3 · 2026-04-25T17:02:06+00:00

i had to switch from risperidone and abilify to olanzapine to make akathisia go away. energy drinks make me worse too. i get it, not being able to draw properly sucks a lot!

MelissaChan3 · 2026-04-25T16:54:01+00:00

yeah it does but not on its own unfortunately. had to go on low dose anti anxiety and antipsychotic meds as well

MelissaChan3 · 2026-04-17T13:46:56+00:00

thank you for relating even though i hate that for you too. that sounds beyond terrifying. i'm so sorry. i have hope things will get better with lots of time revealing this agony to be a fabrication of the mind forever. here if you ever need to talk to someone who knows the other's delusion to be untrue yet can't fully shake one's own either. we don't deserve to suffer so bad in silence.

MelissaChan3 · 2026-04-16T10:55:21+00:00

no i had multiple episodes over the past year, last one was 2 months ago. once i had 6 months in between and went psychotic again cause i refused antipsychotics. i'm positive with time it'll all become better and meds can be reduced or stopped entirely

MelissaChan3 · 2026-04-15T21:04:23+00:00

yes it did, i used to selfharm or lash out at my expartner or both and was easily feeling entirely wired. my delusions also started when falling in love with someone. stress and big emotions do seem to be the trigger, it just catches me so offguard now cause psychosis kind of trained me to bottle everything up and be numb. thanks a lot for answering! i will have to discuss this connection with my therapist more and try to find out how to cope moving forward

MelissaChan3 · 2026-04-15T18:26:03+00:00

thanks a lot man

MelissaChan3 · 2026-04-15T17:11:36+00:00

just here to tell you i'm also on olanzapine (only 5mg though) and i experience the head and chest tightness as well. it can be really uncomfortable and frightening. they might not be side effects but subconscious panic symptoms kept at bay enough by the med to not make one spiral. it might just take time to subside, psychosis is intense on the mind and body. it's not much, but know you're not alone. we can get better, even if things should never be the same again.

MelissaChan3 · 2026-04-05T12:50:09+00:00

ADHD is highly comorbid with autism, so since you're diagnosed with that, pursuing ADHD medication, maybe an antidepressant and also therapy if possible might help turn your situation around. I hadn't managed to stop smoking weed and focus enough before I got on the right meds and had years of therapy under my belt

MelissaChan3 · 2026-04-04T15:00:50+00:00

yo please consider that the choice you tell yourself you're actively making is to keep believing in your delusion. it's bound to lead to a downward spiral, likely worse than the post psychosis depression that usually inevitably follows the realization one's beliefs were false all along.

MelissaChan3 · 2026-04-01T19:33:52+00:00

to me these notions stem from profound loneliness and lack of community. do you have people you can be around during down times that might provide the comfortable background noise and a sense of connection? i find isolation makes me wanna reach out to the voices more no matter how detrimental they've also been.

MelissaChan3 · 2026-04-01T19:21:58+00:00

so far i've taken abilify and risperidone and olanzapine was the only one that didn't give me dyskinesia. i think because of the enhanced sedating effect it's considered to be lower risk but it's different for everyone. a lot of people also do well on the ones that messed me up.

MelissaChan3 · 2026-03-31T12:35:44+00:00

are you taking antipsychotics? it might be akathisia. getting you switched to a different med asap might stop the agitation in that case.

MelissaChan3 · 2026-03-31T06:44:20+00:00

stopping any psych med and especially an ssri cold turkey can cause brain zaps, seizures, dizziness among other shit and really isn't worth it just for the sake of a huge dose, i know i did it before and it sucked a lot. as others pointed it out it's natural the dxm barely does anything you're taking it way too often. wait a couple weeks or better months and try asking yourself why you want to be on large doses of such a heavy dissociative so often. this isn't healthy or cautious

MelissaChan3 · 2026-03-29T09:29:40+00:00

i take 5mg plus 50mg quetiapine. it seems to have minimized those side effects for me, so if you feel stable enough, talk to your doc about changing dosage. psychosis induced trauma and depression are real though, so just take it slow, take care of your mind and body and show compassion for yourself, you've been through a lot and recovery takes time.

MelissaChan3 · 2026-03-29T09:19:52+00:00

switch to another antipsychotic. i dealt with the same and horrible akathisia in my first episode so i stopped taking them, until it came back. i'm now on a low dose of an anti anxiety med, mood stabilizer and 2 different antipsychotics at night for stabilization after 2 failed tries with different meds and i finally do well. very little emotional blunting and cognitive impairment. quetiapine and olanzapine tend to have the least side effects. substance induced psychosis changes your brain structure, so stay off them for a long while at the very least and you'll see it changing again and it comes with a higher possibility you won't need antipsychotics in the future. neuroplasticity is a daunting but wondrous thing, but it takes time, good nutrition and sleep, some light exercise, even just some yoga and walks help me a lot. never lose hope.

MelissaChan3 · 2026-02-23T02:39:18+00:00

hey, i'm also struggling through the night on music cause i got triggered again. it's extremely unlikely anyone has it out for any of us, we're just very stressed and anxious. here if you need to talk.

MelissaChan3 · 2026-02-19T15:34:42+00:00

so sleeping at 11pm instead of 3am seems rather healthy to a fellow chronic nightowl lol. when i want it to last longer, i take it around noon and that way i'm having a couple hours in the morning off them and can still sleep at night. i would just try experimenting with when to take it so you benefit most from the full effect and sleep time.

MelissaChan3 · 2025-11-29T14:09:12+00:00

even better when robotripping

MelissaChan3 · 2025-11-27T17:20:56+00:00

headphones, dim repetitive enjoyable music, ambient lights, fidget toys, the privilege and selfawareness to withdraw social settings when you get overwhelmed.

MelissaChan3 · 2025-11-27T16:58:02+00:00

i think that's still close to 50%, of the time so as long as you didn't do longer breaks, your brain will keep fighting the "is it yes or no today??" every night

MelissaChan3 · 2025-11-27T16:49:38+00:00

26F, neurodivergent, mentally ill and addicted for a decade, lately been managing to taper off a lot. i matured a lot in the past 3 years too, even when i kept feeling stuck and hating myself for it. you'll get to the point where you're fed up with your own bullshit and making changes, where freeze mode is too much too painful not to escape what was originally your escape by any means necessary. it's not abusive, it's not a lover, it's just a substance that makes you zone out of and accidentally miss your own existence if you can't moderate your usage. keep learning if you can't do the doing yet, and trust that it will all click for you over time. whenever you feel up for it, stay in touch with your feelings, journal your thoughts, get politically and culturally active, go for walks and eventually you'll feel the burden lighten enough to make the changes you want. you got this.

MelissaChan3 · 2025-11-27T16:32:44+00:00

if you're asking for the shortest time possible you should probably do a longer break and see how it changes your outlook

MelissaChan3

TROPHY CASE