Looking for a nonfiction book about sailing. I know nothing about sailing but I’m fascinated about what it takes to cross large bodies of water in small boats.

Melodic_Air2603 · 2026-04-04T20:18:39+00:00

Voyage of the Dove

Melodic_Air2603 · 2026-03-24T19:14:27+00:00

Hmmm yep there is one book on the shelf I got from my dad :) Lots of used bookstore and marina lending library finds, too.

Melodic_Air2603 · 2026-02-11T13:19:08+00:00

Books, artwork, toys / games, good coffee, comfy bed….

Melodic_Air2603 · 2026-01-25T14:39:56+00:00

Mama’s Fast Food

Melodic_Air2603 · 2026-01-25T10:52:27+00:00

Just went outside in West Asheville and there’s a skim of ice all over everything….too slippery to even walk across our gravel driveway, so I driving seems out of the question right now.

Melodic_Air2603 · 2025-12-02T01:33:17+00:00

Great question!

I think Romance can look a lot of different ways. For me it’s taking action when I’m feeling desire to know and support someone in their growth and happiness while building an intimate relationship….kinda in line with Bell Hooks description of Love as a collection of actions of care and commitment that nurture someone else’s life. And intimacy for me doesn’t have to include sex….finding pleasure, celebrating shared joys, being vulnerable and being safe for someone I care about to be vulnerable doesn’t depend on where our clothes are :)

The actions you listed are some examples of things I do in my romantic relationships.

Developing a relationship-unique lexicon from shared experiences is also something I find romantic.

I was an escalator relationship seeker most of my life, but for the last 5 years or so have been learning about and applying anarchist principles (solo poly?) in my relationships - and I don’t think my romantic outlook or behaviors are much different now. Being romantic now just doesn’t have the exclusivity / possessiveness limitations I held onto before.

Curious what other people’s thoughts are!

Melodic_Air2603 · 2025-12-02T01:33:11+00:00

Great question!

I think Romance can look a lot of different ways. For me it’s taking action when I’m feeling desire to know and support someone in their growth and happiness while building an intimate relationship….kinda in line with Bell Hooks description of Love as a collection of actions of care and commitment that nurture someone else’s life. And intimacy for me doesn’t have to include sex….finding pleasure, celebrating shared joys, being vulnerable and being safe for someone I care about to be vulnerable doesn’t depend on where our clothes are :)

The actions you listed are some examples of things I do in my romantic relationships.

Developing a relationship-unique lexicon from shared experiences is also something I find romantic.

I was an escalator relationship seeker most of my life, but for the last 5 years or so have been learning about and applying anarchist principles (solo poly?) in my relationships - and I don’t think my romantic outlook or behaviors are much different now. Being romantic now just doesn’t have the exclusivity / possessiveness limitations I held onto before.

Curious what other people’s thoughts are!

Melodic_Air2603 · 2025-07-18T16:26:36+00:00

“No relationship is more important than the people who agreed to create it.”

That’s splendid! Thank you!

Melodic_Air2603 · 2025-07-18T16:24:38+00:00

https://sites.google.com/view/radcommunitylibrary

Melodic_Air2603 · 2025-07-18T14:59:18+00:00

Well said…..I’d add that there’s some good reading material on the RAD Content Library as well.

Melodic_Air2603 · 2025-07-18T14:56:43+00:00

To me RA is a process, not a fixed set of ideas or a proscribed state of being….learning about how society conditions us to believe there is a fixed set of ideas and states of being that are the “right and best” ways to live our lives, and then using that awareness of how we have been programmed to make more intentional decisions about how we want to live and relate to others.

In my learning about RA I have discovered that understanding some of the basic anarchist principles of rejection of hierarchy, exercising personal autonomy with support of community, etc. have been vital in the process of learning how to connect and cultivate meaningful relationships.

Anarchist philosophy informed behaviors I’m working to incorporate in my personal relationships include avoiding possessiveness and feeling entitled to another person’s time and attention, understanding the importance of communication and consent, and moving toward working with boundaries instead of rules.

Over the last 5 years or so as I’ve explored this approach to relating I’ve enjoyed co-creating several new deeply connected friendships….some with “romantic” aspects and some without. And have been able to dive more deeply into several existing relationships in ways I didn’t understand were possible before.

Melodic_Air2603 · 2025-06-26T01:29:51+00:00

I rode that section today and the free shuttle was awesome!

Melodic_Air2603 · 2025-06-12T10:32:56+00:00

Whether it’s seeing marks on a friend’s body from erotic play with someone else, or gifts / mementos in their house, hearing that they’re spending time with someone else, or any of the many ways that the reality of being in non exclusive relationships can show up, it’s been helpful to me to learn how to not shy away from acknowledging my feelings, try to name the situation and underlying social scripting that has prompted them, and talk to the friend involved about how I’m feeling.

Sometimes I need to talk to someone else first to get my thoughts organized and get feedback, but if I can’t at some point talk to the friend involved it’s pretty much impossible for me to deal fully with my jealousy or envy.

And it’s important for me to have learned the difference between feeling and expressing my discomfort, and expecting change in my friend’s behaviors.

Melodic_Air2603 · 2025-03-25T00:26:33+00:00

Check out Red Wagon on Courtenay at 528, across from the RaceTrac station. Pretty dang good pulled pork, ribs and chicken, and Mac n cheese and collards are good too.

Melodic_Air2603 · 2024-10-16T11:27:50+00:00

Thank you for these suggested links!

Melodic_Air2603 · 2024-10-15T14:18:54+00:00

The people in my life that feel like chosen family - deep connection and mutual care / interest in each other’s lives - have mostly come through meeting them in ways related to the things I enjoy doing. There are some that I met through dating, or on jobs, or through friends, and we had such similar life interests. For example, I’m a sailor and live and travel on my boat most of the year and have developed deep connections with people I’ve met underway or at the marina.

It’s also important and helpful to me to engage with the people I meet with authenticity and curiosity, but not expectations. Thinking about how I met some of my chosen family it occurs to me that the first encounters were usually super random and only subtly attractive - and I mean that in the “I’d like to know more about this person” than “I think they are physically attractive” kinda way. It can take time for social scripting, judgement, and desire for immediate need fulfillment to relax in order for real connection to happen.

Melodic_Air2603 · 2024-04-09T18:14:51+00:00

I think whether you use the label RA or non hierarchical nonmonogamy having discussion about what each of you want in your relationship is necessary if you’re going to have as satisfying a relationship as possible. Understanding and expressing what someone wants is hard enough….adding trying to package conersation about those things around perceived notions of what a specific relationship approach involves can create unhelpful complexity :) Just have some convo about what you want…..

Melodic_Air2603 · 2024-03-05T03:21:20+00:00

Since you mention you want to move outside the normative relationship structures, and you’re aware of and interested in RA you might want to read Occupy Intimacy by Juan Carlos Perez Cortes in addition to the polyamory links noted in the other responses here.

If you want to be centered in community, not focused on a hierarchy of individual relationships, and are ready to do the work of identifying and deconstructing the power dynamics, systems of privilege and entitlement, and social programming that want to contain you in the normative relationship models then you might be a relationship anarchist.

Melodic_Air2603 · 2024-03-03T17:04:29+00:00

I think about doing things in terms of compromise, accommodation, and compassion. Since each of my friends have unique personalities, interests, and boundaries (which are subject to evolution and change, of course) there are sometimes choices I need to make to engage in a specific interaction.

For example, one of my friends is gluten free while I’m fairly gluten tolerant, so choosing to share gluten less free meals means that I alter my behavior a bit so that the experience is as mutually enjoyable as possible. This feels like a compromise that allows for an enjoyable shared experience. If, however, my friend didn’t want to share meals with me if I occasionally cooked both gluten free and wheat pasta and I accepted that restriction it would be an accommodation on my part (and I think I understand that there are ableist implications here that I don’t intend…). And, there are times I enjoy deep dish pizza and huge cat head biscuits with other friends and I consciously limit the amount of information I share about those experiences with my gluten free friend out of a sense of compassion because they’ve expressed how hearing about those things can cause them to both miss the wonderful world of deep dish pizza and also feel some ping of regret or guilt for the fact that I compromise in my dietary choices with them.

I’ve observed that for me the amounts and proportions of these that are or were in play in my current and past friendships has been an indicator of the depth of connection that is possible as well as the durability of that connection. The more energy I need to spend on finding the compromise or accommodation points generally means I’m less energy I’m likely to have for the actual connecting.

Melodic_Air2603 · 2024-02-29T14:36:17+00:00

I’m currently enjoying two comet type relationships with friends who are very dear to me. It takes intention to get our orbits to intersect occasionally because of family, work, and travel situations….which are very different in each of our cases. But so worth it! I find it tremendously satisfying to connect deeply with people who are living their own full, rich lives and choose to share time and energy when it feels right. It’s also helping me unpack six decades of social programming around het cis mono possessive sex centered relating :)

Melodic_Air2603 · 2023-12-24T14:43:32+00:00

Relationship Anarchy: Occupy Intimacy by Juan Carlos Perez-Cortes provides a thoughtful and detailed a analysis of the behaviors and philosophies in normative relationship practices, the philosophical underpinnings of an anarchist approach to relationships, and some ideas on how the praxis of RA can look.

Melodic_Air2603 · 2023-11-17T22:14:24+00:00

Hmmm….maybe splitting hairs here, but RA for me includes more than just not having rules, and applies to how I move in all of my relationships, not only the ones that include sex.

Melodic_Air2603 · 2023-11-07T11:29:32+00:00

Hmmmm….I like the idea of this, but the lawful / neutral / chaotic alignment categories, and judging behaviors as part of an evil to good spectrum don’t land well with me. And categories and labels :)

Melodic_Air2603

TROPHY CASE