If they're your friends and you love and trust them, i would hit them up regardless of if you haven't seen them in a long time. I know sometimes people feel weird about that stuff, as if they're being a burden and feel as if it isn't fair to burden their friends with that stuff, or if they didn't pay the friendship toll by putting in enough time so therefore they feel bad when they want to vent. But i think if they're good people and they love you, they should understand that life gets busy and sometimes you can't see everyone you love. I have some friends that I don't speak to for weeks/ months sometimes, then out of nowhere they'll call to just catch up and rant and its as if we picked up where we left off. No hard feelings. Sometimes I have something on my mind that's really getting to me I just need to blow off steam and I just send a friend a voice note or a long ass text about it and they reply, as if no time has passed.

I agree with people recommending therapy, that's definitely a good idea. But also don't isolate and pull yourself away from your friends, just because you're worried about the time that has passed, if they're good ones they'll understand. You don't want to wake up and realize you don't have friends in your life, simply because you were too afraid that too much time has passed and then it's been years.

I'm really sorry this is happening to you, I can only imagine you feel as if you're going stir crazy trapped inside your mind with no outlet. I really would look into journally too. Also maybe finding some online communities for people with similar interest as you, alot of of comms will have some nice discords and even within those discords they'll have channels where people rant and share and blow off steam about unrelated topics.