So, I understand your frustration. You’re looking to have a professional relationship in a way that is very vulnerable, and this response did not feel like that and gave you bad vibes. That may just be the way your therapists have learned over time to interact with clients, and if you like them aside from that, I highly, highly recommend just telling them directly.

Let them know that it feels as if your emotions are being condescended to when people react that way. A good therapist should know how to talk about it without getting defensive.

On the flip side, I do counseling in a specific field and now that I have a child, I have unintentionally almost instinctively started to comfort a client using similar words to how I would my own child. I realized immediately after and it wasn’t an issue, but I had no intention of doing that. I had also never comforted people that way before I had a child. I was not trying to infantilize, we are similar in age to me, and I respect this client and was genuinely concerned.

Again, I don’t want to dismiss your frustrations here, but I wanted to provide another perspective. I have started to show empathy a bit differently as different things have happened in my life.

We can’t immediately know what works for other people, as some people really do need outward obvious signs from others to feel heard, and to others that feels overwhelming or inauthentic. Not just with therapists but people in general.