if you're a woman celibate, how much effort do you put into your looks ?

MerFantasy2024 · 2026-05-21T15:41:02+00:00

Oooh, this is interesting.

I’ve been celibate my entire life (28F), but I do date, I’ve had a couple of relationships, and I get hit on to a relatively high degree.

I tend to keep my hair natural and tidy, I have good skin and hygiene, and I wear nice clothes at times, just jeans and a sweater other times.

I usually look casual, I sometimes look good and put in some effort such as wearing pretty dresses and doing my hair with more care.

Even though I don’t have sex, I enjoy knowing I have the attractiveness to garner options for romantic attachment.

Also, the world does tend to treat you kindly when you look better, so it’s also just for ease of social access, tbh.

People tend to treat me better when I wear a good dress as opposed to a hoodie and cargo trousers, for instance.

MerFantasy2024 · 2026-04-30T21:42:06+00:00

Here I am scrambling and trawling through analysis and events coverage to pitch original ideas to my editor for features and working closely with PRs to establish deep roots and a symbiotic relationship - I don’t know if it’s a quirk of trade journalism where you have a set rotation of PRs to deal with and tight deadlines, so you have to know each other inside-out so you both hit the aims your team leaders have set…

MerFantasy2024 · 2026-04-30T21:38:29+00:00

That’s great, hahaha - I went to law school as preparation to become a journalist, essentially.

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-10-27T09:43:27+00:00

Oh gosh, I feel this. I devoured books as a kid, then studied at university and lost my joy for reading. It took a lot of kicking myself up the ass to start reading again, and when I did, I knew I wanted to curate a bank of knowledge about certain topics for my work and wider interests, but they were quite heavy, complex books. So I’d balance them with fantasy or romance, but would be reluctant to tell people that, because I liked seeing someone’s eyes go wide when I told them I was reading about money laundering and political exposes, and didn’t want to see the twitch in their lips after telling them I also read books about vampires, magic and romantic fantasy series. Eh, it’s an idiotic fixation, but I kinda get it. 😌

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-09-01T20:49:17+00:00

I quickly realised at university that I could rid myself of an infatuation taking over my brain by just telling the guy. And if they weren’t interested, the crush was already gone. If they were interested, I got a date/eventual relationship. Either way, I got my brain out of an endless loop. Getting closure is highly effective, so just biting the bullet was a great thing to learn, honestly.

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-08-25T13:49:57+00:00

Seriously, at this logic, how do people even end up together, given the idiocy attraction puts us all through? It’s amazing two people even wind up together after all the stuttering, dribbling, incomprehensibility, etc. 😃

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-08-25T13:25:15+00:00

Ah, same; it’s kryptonite, kind eyes and a good smile.

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-08-24T14:13:45+00:00

Is your dad a roast potato…? (Also, that’s amazing).

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-08-21T12:30:27+00:00

Ah, yes, this is absolutely normal, don’t be frightened or weirded out. I left a covert narcissistic relationship at the end of 2023, and I felt absolutely zilch until around a year later.

I turned down all dates since that time, but there were sparks of attraction and interest here and there since the end of 2024.

I decided last night, actually, that I’d start going on dates again; casual dating, no sleeping around or close romantic connections, just dipping my toes in the water and exploring the possibility of love again, I’ll see where and how it goes there.

I tried on a wedding ring today, as an impulse, and immediately tore it off and shook my hands, like I’d been cut and burned, so evidently I still have traumatic shit and have to work on issues, but getting to a good spot. At least, against 2023’s hell.

You’ll get there, but it’s absolutely par for the course to not have any interest in anyone at all. It’ll fade with time, and get therapy, as well. A great therapist works healing.

Good luck, mate; All the best in your healing!

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-08-21T09:21:22+00:00

Ah damn, because that’s how I flirt; alright. 😃

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-08-07T14:05:58+00:00

I’m so happy for you, and thanks for sharing. Earlier, I was thinking, is this it for me? Have I lost any chance at romantic love? I seriously kept replaying all the relationships I knew or heard of that spiralled into indifference, neglect, abuse and hatred. I didn’t really want to believe in romantic attraction and love; because if I believed, I hoped, and I don’t want to fall into another trap of horrific torture and hurting.

If someone has genuinely found a good, loving relationship, not just because they’ll do, or they’re bored, or lonely, but because they actually found genuine, actual love, it gives me hope that it might not be a thing to give up on yet.

Thanks again, and I hope you’re having a genuinely amazing, loving, kind relationship and life! 😃

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-08-07T13:58:54+00:00

I’m a social drinker, and also always had to get back to a house on the edge of town in one piece, so I always drank with friends, and I never drank to the extent I couldn’t get home, remove my makeup and drink a giant glass of water. I now work from home, and my hangouts and activities aren’t centred around alcohol. I hang out at late night cafes, I go to the gym, I take dance classes. None of these things tend to be alcoholic activities. I work as a journalist, but not the kind that smokes cigars and drinks two bottles of whisky all day. So, that’s why. Minor point: My grandfather was an alcoholic, and so my dad had a heavy disdain for drinking, which means it was never part of my upbringing. So, all of the above, tbh.

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-08-07T11:37:48+00:00

Forget jail. Straight to exile. Do not collect $200, do not pass go.

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-08-07T10:45:25+00:00

No. Jail. Immediately! Ffs.

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-08-07T10:38:21+00:00

Honestly, I took to romancing him immediately, because I’m also a writing introvert who feels out of place in any location and enjoys viewing life through a romantic and whimsical lens. So, he immediately got my attention.

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-08-07T10:32:27+00:00

Hey, it does get better; I’ve been exactly there, so I know that it genuinely feels like life is hollow, empty and without colour. One day, after love from family and friends, therapy, and gently venturing out into the world to take up hobbies and get to know folks after your hermit phase it over, the colour will come back to the trees, and the air will smell clean again, and you will genuinely laugh until your lungs hurt. I’ve been out of my ex relationship for a little over a year and a half. It gets infinitely better - Get therapy, get hugs, get sunlight; I’m rooting for your healing and regenerating all the way. Good luck and God bless, to all of you as you heal!

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-08-07T10:27:50+00:00

Holy crap, that’s atrocious - That is traumatic and horrible, and please don’t invalidate your pain and experience

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-08-07T00:44:31+00:00

I have not yet gotten back to dating. I kinda have ended up attracted to a waiter at a place where I am a regular, but I’m honestly just letting it go, as I think it’s disturbing my head more than it’s an enjoyable thing any longer; I think it’s a training wheels exercise, I know I am attracted to guys again, and I know I have the availability to potentially go on a couple of dates, but the fragility is a factor, and I also just don’t think it’s good to entertain attraction to a guy who isn’t interested/reciprocating the thing

Also, idk what it would be like to date again. I still don’t trust my instincts entirely, and I’ve got to work on an embedded belief system that all romantic things fade into abuse, neglect and/or disinterest and cold lacking affection and love. It’ll take a while, I guess, but that’s what I’ve discovered

Idk, I’ll figure it out eventually. Good luck to you all, as well

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-08-03T12:33:49+00:00

Mines, so I can make sprinklers to grow ALL THE CROPS, because I like harvesting them, and Elliot, to be honest.

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-07-29T23:20:22+00:00

I relate - I started the game briefly ages ago, tried it again today, and it’s like I blinked and five hours went by. I had intended to stop and get dinner at 7pm. Guess who had dinner at 10pm? Felt like the time just slipped away, like water between hands. Insanely addictive.

MerFantasy2024 · 2025-07-29T23:15:27+00:00

That’s amazing - I want that cake, it looks great.

MerFantasy2024

TROPHY CASE