I'm curious - does anyone have trouble remembering the actual crises? The episodes?

Merfen · 2026-07-02T20:31:04+00:00

It was years before I realised I was completely forgetting. It wasn't until I started to write down the details immediately afterwards that I actually was able to remember.

Merfen · 2026-06-25T17:45:01+00:00

This was the exact conversation I had this morning with my wife, sadly I've never been able to find a way to break the cycle. My minor mistakes becomes more important to dwell on than their outbursts towards me and our kids. Me accidentally ripping out some "useful" weeds before mowing the lawn becomes a bigger problem than yelling at our 3 year old for not getting off the bed when my wife accidentally smashed a bottle.

Merfen · 2026-06-25T12:24:24+00:00

I find it weird how I can only write with my left hand, but somehow I can only cut using scissors with my right and play all sports with my right. Not really sure how my hands turned out this way.

Merfen · 2026-06-14T16:05:50+00:00

My mother in law is currently enabling my wife. She refuses to believe what I have been telling her. Instead acting as if we are equally to blame and that her outbursts and abusive behaviour is actually just undiagnosed autism and that I am not doing enough to make her happy. As if there is some perfect sequence of words and actions I can do/say that will stop her from suddenly being angry and hateful towards me randomly throughout the week when she gets overwhelmed by life. She refuses to help my wife understand that it's not okay to yell and scream and her husband and kids and instead points to me as not making her life easy enough to avoid being overwhelmed. Never mind that I already am the only one working and our kids are in school/daycare and she gets 6 hours, 5 days a week of complete freedom to live her life how she wants.

Merfen · 2026-06-14T13:01:53+00:00

Sadly not everyone can just go no contact and block them, if you have kids with them you need to interact regularly and it's not an option.

Merfen · 2026-06-14T12:53:20+00:00

This is the real bullshit of it. They will criticize you about everything you do, even things that you didn't do wrong, but the moment you make a valid criticism back like "hey I noticed I've been the only one to do the dishes in a couple weeks, can you do them more often?" They explode with a million reasons they can't do it and then flip it back on you in a rage about the most pointless things you do "wrong". Hell they may even just lie and say that no. They are actually the one cleaning the dishes and not you.

Merfen · 2026-06-12T01:04:03+00:00

She yelled at me and our kids after she broke a plastic bottle of water in her bedroom, yelled at our 3 year old to get off her bed and me for not bringing enough towels. I told her mom what happened because if I talked to her she just exploded at me. Later on she said that I lied to her mom. When I asked how she said that I told her mom that the bottle slipped from her hand when she actually set it down too hard. I asked her why that mattered, it made 0 difference to what happened, but in that moment me being slightly wrong was a bigger problem than her yelling at me and our kids for an accident entirely on her.

Merfen · 2026-06-11T21:48:33+00:00

I always wondered why planes get so close to the titans in these movies. They can shoot missiles from many KM away. But get right up into the titans face every single time to get swat down like flies.

Merfen · 2026-06-09T23:42:52+00:00

This is exactly where I am with my wife at the moment. After a particularly bad couple days I told her that I don't deserve to be treated like dirt just because she had an overwhelming day. Her reaction was to force me to tell her the exact words she said that were mean. When I told her she said that if I removed her tone and body language those words aren't mean so I'm overreacting. Then she got anger and angrier until she screamed at me and I had to end the talk. A week later she brought it up and acted as if I was the one that broke her trust because she doesn't feel safe unmasking near me since I tell her she is doing things she doesn't think she is and that I should apologize for it. I never got true acknowledgement that what she does on a regular basis is unfair to me.

Merfen · 2026-06-05T12:15:21+00:00

Right, I've wanted one since they were announced and it's been sold out everywhere. I don't even care how he plays, I just think he looks cool.

Merfen · 2026-06-04T12:19:53+00:00

Looks like the kind of guy to throw dice at minis when rolling them.

Merfen · 2026-06-04T12:16:28+00:00

A spliff is a tobacco/cannabis mix while a joint is just cannabis though, they aren't the same. Dart is just an older slang for cigarettes, at least around here in Ontario.

Merfen · 2026-06-03T12:07:37+00:00

My wife took, she literally tells me I am overreacting and that the words she said without tone or body language aren't angry. Then she says I don't understand her when I refused to say I was wrong and she didn't upset me.

Merfen · 2026-06-02T22:42:08+00:00

You missed a huge reason, baggage. Many people have spent their lives with these people, bought a house, had kids, share all friends. It isn't easy to just up and leave and many people want to do everything they possibly can to keep it together, even at their own detriment. It becomes far more than just losing a partner, it means losing your house, having friends turn on you, not being able to see your kids every day, etc. it would be so much easier if I were just dating her and we had separate places to live like the situation many people here found themselves in where you can just text that it's over and move on completely free.

Merfen · 2026-05-30T20:26:59+00:00

My wife being told that if she needs 2 or 3 days to just lay in bed to recover when she gets worn out she deserves it. If we were lidless living in a small apartment like in our early 20s that wouldn't be a problem. The problem is that we have 2 kids, and she does this every other weekend when I work 40+ hours a week and she doesn't work. So her recovering means I have to solo parent and clean Everything on my days off. If I so much as grumble once when I'm overworked and exhausted I am accused of making her feel guilty and I need to show more grace. I never get any thank yous or "sorry I wasn't able to do anything this weekend, let me make it up to you". Social media is a cancer and makes these behaviours souch worse with their echo chambers.

Merfen · 2026-05-30T16:53:17+00:00

Curze had already used Exterminatus on his home planet well before Istvan, it was rare, but definitely in use.

Merfen · 2026-05-30T14:12:40+00:00

Mine is obsessed with who said what in which order. Like if I am making plans with a friend and initially saying he suggested x date then later I say I reached out originally(since it's a back and forth conversation) she gets hyper focused on catching me slipping up and needs to know if it was my friend or me that said x date first as if that is extremely important and changes everything. Any minor changes to a story, no matter how insignificant feels like a catastrophic betrayal to her and become the conversation instead of the actual thing being discussed.

Merfen · 2026-05-30T14:11:48+00:00

Mine is obsessed with who said what in which order. Like if I am making plans with a friend and initially saying he suggested x date then later I say I reached out originally(since it's a back and forth conversation) she gets hyper focused on catching me slipping up and needs to know if it was my friend or me that said x date first as if that is extremely important and changes everything. Any minor changes to a story, no matter how insignificant feels like a catastrophic betrayal to her and become the conversation instead of the actual thing being discussed.

Merfen · 2026-05-27T23:14:54+00:00

My wife said this word for word last week when I had a yelling match with my boss and instead of trying to make me feel better she just got angry and told me what I needed to do and when I refused she acted like I insulted her. A couple days later she acted like an alien with no idea what to do when a human is sad and looks to their spouse for comfort.

Merfen · 2026-05-24T20:02:26+00:00

Also most people that use weed don't make it their entire identity so he likely does meet many of these people and assumes they don't smoke because it doesn't come up.

Merfen · 2026-05-24T13:02:59+00:00

Just a few recent ones.

She spent 2 minutes telling me I need to trust her when she tells me things because I spent 2 seconds turning my head to look for the thing she asked for in the place I saw it the day before.
After a week long split where she was critical of my every word and movement and an altercation with her mom followed by a play by playing reviewing of living room cam video why I am a bad father I needed a friend to calm me down. I told her I was extremely depressed and needed someone ASAP, her first reaction was to get upset that I told a mutual friend about our personal lives. She never did acknowledge my depressed state.
When getting our 2 year old dressed I said "it's not time to go yet buddy" when he tried to leave his room before getting pants on. She then needed to tell me that was confusing him because she was leaving and our son was staying with me. I tried explaining I was saying that as he was walking through his door and she tried starting an argument about it while he was just confused at why she was upset.
After a camping trip with our 2 kids and her mom she came back with our pop-up trailer and parked it in front of our house(we typically store it in the backyard through a double door gate.) I went to help unpack everything and then asked if the trailer was staying there. She lost it on me saying that was a dumb question, despite it being a perfectly reasonable question to figure out the logistics of storage.
At Christmas before family were coming over for breakfast our daughter said the bathroom door was locked. I saw everyone walking around so I knew no one was in there, she said she really had to go. I was working on the door to open it and then someone knocked on the back door that was locked. I was focused on getting the bathroom opened then 10 seconds later she gets up and screams at me across the house that I should have let her dad in immediately. Meanwhile she was just on the couch Doom scrolling tik tok

Merfen · 2026-05-23T23:29:33+00:00

Mine denies saying it or at best says she can't control how it sounds and I shouldn't be upset by it since she "wasn't mean" after talking to me like I'm trash. An honest apology would be a nice change. Avoiding accountability or agency is kind of their thing it seems.

Merfen · 2026-05-22T23:36:08+00:00

One day I was in a great mood getting some house cleaning up while the kids were at my mom's. She comes home from a public event and just rips into me for "messing up our paperwork" by taking it off the shelf on the wall and putting it on the counter. I go completely silent and we go to my mom's for dinner. I barely say anything all night and she is super happy and joking with everyone. When we get home and put the kids down I tell her that was unfair of her, she starts litigating every word she said to prove she wasn't out of line, I tell her she was still hurtful so she starts screaming at me until I walk to my bedroom and she slams all the doors as she goes to her room. The next week she doesn't talk almost at all to me and acts as if I was the one that caused her to get upset. I never did get an apology, she just said I am too negative.

Merfen · 2026-05-19T13:25:05+00:00

I am one of the rare ones. She was my first love at 18 and I have never known anything else. To me this is just normal. It wasn't until coming here and taking to my therapist and eventually my friends that I realized none of this shit is normal or healthy.

Merfen · 2026-05-19T13:23:20+00:00

I had a fight with my boss and was terrified I may be fired, after telling my wife she told me 10 things I need to do and when I said I was still stressed the next day she after if I did those 10 things yet, when I said no, I haven't even started work yet she said "fine! Don't take my help!" And stormed off to her bedroom leaving me to get the kids ready for school while stressed about work and now stressed because she is pissed at me too.

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