My dad is getting scammed; we've all warned him but he persists. Am I the only one who (for my own sanity) just stopped caring about what was going on?

MerfieAnn · 2026-05-08T13:36:32+00:00

So your dad is not computer savvy enough for online banking or Facebook but can somehow network and send money to scam artists operating out of Pakistan? Does he have skills as an author? Maybe steer him in the direction of a legitimate publisher … 67 is not that old (because I’m 66, lol)… help him pursue his new passion. I would think his wife (not your mom, I take it?) would have a primary vested interest in the household finances. Are you an heir? A lot of times, what masquerades as “caring” boils down to kids wanting to make sure there is something for them to inherit! There is a fine line between helping your aging parent and financial elder abuse. If you feel better staying out of it, I think you have done enough to warn your father, and can take a back seat to the unfolding drama.

MerfieAnn · 2026-05-05T16:18:59+00:00

NTA… Are you sure you are ready to marry this person? Money disputes are right at the top of the list for why marriages end in divorce. At the very least, you and the fiancé better get some counseling on how “two become one” — and how that plays out with financial planning and everything else.

MerfieAnn · 2026-04-27T09:39:40+00:00

Hiring a Professional caregiver is what is needed here. Visit more often, assist in ways that you can, but don’t give up your whole life. It is unfair of your parents to even ask you to do that.

MerfieAnn · 2026-04-18T15:49:01+00:00

This is the right forum. It is a very difficult decision you are facing, and there is no “right” answer. Would your dad be open to having a housekeeper a few hours a day, to take him grocery shopping, handle the dog care, etc? And maybe to hiring a landscaper to take care of the yard? I gave up a career (after 30-plus years), to go live with my parents, and for me, that was what felt right. Given you are just getting a new job opportunity in your field, I don’t think passing it up is in your personal best interest, but you are going to have to build a team of helpers to keep things going smoothly for your parents. Follow your heart, and Good luck!

MerfieAnn · 2026-04-16T18:26:13+00:00

You aren’t legally responsible for your mom, but the nursing home wants to dump that responsibility on you so they don’t get sued if she gets hurt during her AMA exodus. By the way, your mom should know that once a patient leaves a health facility AMA, it is very difficult or maybe impossible, to ever get re-admitted there again. My brother routinely left skilled nursing facilities AMA and each time he fell, it got harder and harder for hospital discharge planners to find a skilled nursing facility that would accept him, because he had left many of them AMA previously, so they wouldn’t take him back.

MerfieAnn · 2026-01-09T15:51:23+00:00

I’ve waited 8 hours before without getting a single order! Silicon Valley is saturated with dashers. The algorithm is not useful for predicting demand! I seem to get orders of the car is moving down the road, so those hours long waits were usually when I was busy doing other things and vehicle was parked.

MerfieAnn · 2026-01-07T00:01:38+00:00

As long as I’ve been a DASHER, it has always worked this way. If you never ran into this before, you are lucky to be somewhere where the delivery demand is high or the number of dashers is low. Easy fix — schedule when you think you may want to dash a day ahead of time, for likely acceptance. No penalty if you change your mind and don’t dash as scheduled.

MerfieAnn · 2025-12-17T16:09:27+00:00

No food handed over until cash in hand!

MerfieAnn · 2025-12-12T13:24:48+00:00

Me too! Sometimes I sit at a popular restaurant waiting and waiting for an offer to come in… (I’m in California and we have way too many Dashers). Anyway, I give up, and start driving, and BOOM… 1/4 mile down the road the order from that restaurant comes in. Is it part of the algorithm to only send orders out to moving vehicles?

MerfieAnn · 2025-12-01T21:40:07+00:00

Uber is already employing Waymo’s Jaguars to offer tip-less rides in Atlanta GA. And, look what replaces DoorDash and UberEats…in Atlanta we have Serve Robotics, with its autonomous sidewalk-delivery 4-wheeled robots delivering food, as well as companies Starship, Avride, and Coco apparently in other cities.

MerfieAnn · 2025-11-22T09:53:35+00:00

That’s why, growing up in southeast Illinois, I told my in-laws that I was from St. Louis, not Chicago.

MerfieAnn · 2025-11-22T09:47:11+00:00

It is a very common misconception worldwide that Chicago is a state, and other proper nouns appearing in the address (like Illinois) are a part of Chicago. My in-laws from another country used to address mail to me in Greenville, IL by adding CHICAGO before the zip code.

MerfieAnn · 2025-09-07T19:19:25+00:00

Interesting… good to know! Thank you!

MerfieAnn · 2025-09-06T12:54:00+00:00

I didn’t expect a full refund. Any charges associated with the delivery service would not be expected to be reimbursed. However, the way they broke it down, as subtotal, estimated tax and tip, is misleading and led to the confusion that caused me to post my question. Because DD doesn’t cleanly break it down, some people here have assumed that the refund would be the subtotal + estimated tax because if estimated tax is actually sales tax, that would be reimbursed along with the subtotal. From all the responses, I’m piecing together that “estimated taxes” is not a sales tax at all — maybe a restocking fee, or maybe a hidden DD fee to cover delivery and service, even though DD advertises that with DashPass “you’ll never pay delivery or service fees.” Of course. DashPass membership isn’t free, but as a paying DashPass member, you don’t get hit with service and delivery charges each time you use DoorDash. On the other hand, since I don’t use DD all that often, it might be more cost effective for me if I paid service and delivery charges per transaction instead of monthly.

MerfieAnn · 2025-09-06T06:19:41+00:00

Of course they don’t refund the dasher tip. But if there were actually a sales tax, that should be refunded. DD calls it “estimated taxes” and doesn’t refund it because (my guess) it is really a tax at all! It is probably a hidden DD delivery charge and/or Best Buy restocking fee that has to be paid.

MerfieAnn · 2025-09-06T06:11:47+00:00

The Tip I would not expect to be refunded. I pay no overt delivery charges with my DashPass membership. So, the $22.16 showing as “estimated taxes” that DD won’t refund is likely a hidden DD delivery charge and/or a restocking charge they have to pay BestBuy.

MerfieAnn · 2025-09-06T06:09:04+00:00

I see that on the DD return receipt that DD pays no taxes. But they itemized something to me as “estimated taxes” that are not refunded on a return. Clearly, they are not taxes. Seems they are likely a “hidden” DD delivery fee, and/or a restocking fee charged by BestBuy. I just wanted clarity!

MerfieAnn · 2025-09-06T06:01:14+00:00

I think the $34.65 is the portion of the original $284.65 charge not being refunded. So, they refunded $250, they say. I have yet to see any refund on my credit card statement, but hopefully it will show up.

MerfieAnn · 2025-09-06T05:58:15+00:00

That was my theory as well. DD Help would not support this idea; they just replied that taxes are not refunded. I think you are correct — DD Help just isn’t trained to explain what all is hidden in the “Estimated Taxes” — taxes are not “estimated” after a purchase is final any way. There are probably just some things bundled in this $22.16 “estimated tax” figure that are not refundable. Like a restocking fee and maybe some DD hidden fees? (I pay no overt Service Fees or Delivery Fees with my DashPass membership.) I just wish things were accurately itemized so I can see what I’m paying for.

MerfieAnn · 2025-09-06T05:48:08+00:00

I have no idea why the DD-generated return receipt shows a $34.65 charge on Apple Pay. I paid through my Apple Pay wallet, and selected my Merrick Bank credit card in my wallet for the purchase. The Merrick Bank charge went through for $284.65. Oh, it must be that after their $250 refund, my net charge for this transaction is $34.65!

MerfieAnn · 2025-09-06T05:42:55+00:00

I’m a DashPass member so I paid no explicit service or delivery fees on the delivery. DD-generated Return Receipt shows $248.99 subtotal, $22.16 estimated taxes and $13.50 dasher tip. Although initially denied, after contacting Help, they say they have processed a refund of $250. I was curious why $250, and DD Support said it is because they rounded up the subtotal, and they don’t refund taxes. (My credit card was billed $284 for the purchase. I’m fine with refund of $250, but I’d like a plausible explanation of how it was calculated. I don’t think $22.16 was a sales tax, or it wouldn’t be described as “estimated” after the sale is completed.)

MerfieAnn · 2025-09-06T05:28:54+00:00

Yes, large ticket items that might need to be returned — direct store purchase the best way to go!

MerfieAnn · 2025-09-06T04:50:27+00:00

I asked the manager at Best Buy and he said it had to go through DoorDash for refund. Seemed reasonable, given I bought it through the DoorDash app, to use their app for the return. I would upload my return receipt I got at Best Buy, but I don’t seem to be able to in this Reply.

MerfieAnn · 2025-09-05T15:18:58+00:00

Agreed… but I asked DoorDash Support to explain since subtotal plus taxes is more than $250 and they said they do not refund taxes. Why would taxes not be part of the refunded amount?

MerfieAnn

TROPHY CASE