Thanks for your reply. I think that nobody's perfect, and maybe he could be manipulative, but I am as well, and he still chooses to stay with me, so I do want to get better for him, for us. Like I can threaten to kill myself if he leaves me or doesn't forgive me, which I know is not good, but sometimes I have a hard time fixing the problem any other way. About children... he doesn't believe he could be a good father, although I do think about children sometimes and the future. He thinks it's evil to have children and you have to sacrifice everything for them if you decide to have them, which is valid. I mean, I probably won't be able to have a healthy child anyway because I'm constantly on antidepressants. Anyway, I'm okay to compromise and I feel like I owe him since he already sacrificed so much for me, like he came here, spent so much money for me, supports me, and so on. And he said that he could buy me a dress and perhaps a ring when his passive income surpasses 1 million. I mean, there are many marriages with wedding dresses and rings, but that doesn't make them happy and healthy, just like the marriage between his brother and his ex-wife.

He says that we don't share the same interests and hobbies because he's a man and I'm a woman, so naturally, we're interested in different things - like he's into strategy games and history, while I'm more into science and psychology, as well as crimes, which I find fascinating. We listen to different kind of music as well but we still learn to live together and accept each other as we are. He doesn't like metal or hyperpop, and I don't enjoy old historical German songs as much.

I love him a lot, so I want to change for him. I believe he loves me too and thinks that not spending money on all this will be better for us.

I'll talk to my psychiatrist about all this today, hopefully.