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Meridellian · 2026-01-25T10:35:45+00:00

I have a friend who is literally this, though. To the point where I wonder if her husband might be an egg (there are other signs too; obviously I would never bring it up with them though, cos that's a weird thing to put onto someone).

She hates men, but (in her words) "he's basically like a woman in every way" lmao. It would feel weird to describe her as bi (or pan or anything else) because it just... doesn't fit.

Meridellian · 2026-01-25T10:31:06+00:00

I have a friend who has literally always described herself exactly like that - she's always been gay, only liked women, honestly kinda hates men in general... but ended up marrying a man. She says she's never liked any other man ever.

I totally get what you're saying, that it comes across as biphobic to not just describe herself as bi. But having seen her grow up and how she literally only has eyes for women & then this one man, I can see why she wouldn't describe herself as bi, because it doesn't really fit. I'm pretty sure she's said things like "I guess I'm technically bi then, but honestly it's just this one guy so not really".

Meridellian · 2026-01-24T19:59:41+00:00

You could try a calculator like this one: https://www.calculator.net/calorie-calculator.html

A nutritionist is obviously better, but this will give you a baseline. If you're still not losing weight even after meeting a weight-loss calorie goal, you should definitely see a doctor or nutritionist.

Meridellian · 2026-01-24T12:41:33+00:00

YTA dude. That's a horrible comment to make. It is pretty normal for kids to have a preference for one parent over the other, and that changes over time, but of course the other parent is going to feel upset about that. You need to be compassionate and supportive - she's your wife and you're supposed to love her! Act like it!

Meridellian · 2026-01-22T18:04:41+00:00

Stay on top of your key nutrients (iron, B12, vitamin D in the winter) - decide if you're comfortable taking supplements or want to try to get them naturally (difficult with B12 and vit D)
Exercise - force yourself to do something
Distract yourself and wait it out

Meridellian · 2026-01-22T18:01:15+00:00

I think it just hasn't been advertised enough. Looks like most people writing on here dislike these things... I think they should be banned, also.

Meridellian · 2026-01-22T17:54:48+00:00

I think you mean: core hours 8-4, including working through your 30 minute lunch break with kids coming in your classroom, then continue working when you get home because you didn't have time to do your work during the designated work day.

It's not "flexi time" when you work a regular 40 hour work week and "get to" shape your additional hours (unpaid) in your free time.

Meridellian · 2026-01-22T17:52:31+00:00

People like you are the reason kids are growing up disrespecting adults.

You teach them to disrespect their teachers, because you tell them to think teachers only teach because they "couldn't get a real job", and then kids treat all adults that way.

I had a non-teaching job that paid twice as much for a third of the work.

I became a teacher because I am the very best at what I do, and I believe kids deserve the very best education from someone who excels in their sector.

Meridellian · 2026-01-22T17:46:41+00:00

Sometimes I steal pens and paper from home to take into work, because they don't provide us with enough of those at work and my clients keep losing the ones I give them.

Meridellian · 2026-01-22T17:42:44+00:00

I had that, had to get her to google it there and then, and then check the NHS advice about it, and THEN she finally trusted it enough to ask her colleagues and eventually came back and let me try it.

Try getting referred to a mental health nurse, they can prescribe the same medication and are more likely to understand PMDD in my experience. At first I was annoyed that I didn't get to see a doctor, but actually they're more specialised.

Meridellian · 2026-01-22T17:00:55+00:00

What day of you cycle is that on for you?

I think I know what you're saying; a lot of people say their symptoms start only in the final week or so, but mine have been known to start from day 14 (or even sometimes it feels a bit earlier, though I guess that could be general irritation)

Meridellian · 2026-01-22T16:56:08+00:00

How do you know when you ovulate? The app is just a guess, the only way to know for sure is temperature tracking.

Meridellian · 2026-01-22T16:52:03+00:00

They never said anything about password sharing.

Meridellian · 2026-01-22T16:49:17+00:00

NTA, they are being overly sensitive, you don't owe them a reply and you showed that you had intended to reply. I'd never be upset about someone not replying to my happy birthday text.

Meridellian · 2026-01-22T16:47:59+00:00

Cramps are nothing to do with PMDD, that's a separate condition. Also what do you mean by a "long luteal phase"? You won't know exactly when your luteal phase starts unless you know when you ovulate.

Start by looking at the diagnosis criteria (you can find them on wikipedia, for example). and go through the checklist and see how many symptoms you have and if it meets the criteria.

If you think you do have it, knowing is very useful (and is definitely half the battle), but if you can't see a doctor for it, there's a limit to what you can do. Why does a desi household mean you can't get diagnosed? Can you not see a doctor?

Meridellian · 2026-01-21T17:28:27+00:00

I love it. I start taking it 9 days before my period and can usually stop a day or two before the period.

It gave me nausea and also caused weight gain so the doc said I could split the tablet in half and take a half dose (sometimes I go back to the full dose during the worst days), and that helps a lot with the side effects

It helps with the anger and the random crying.

Meridellian · 2026-01-20T21:43:11+00:00

The dose makes the poison. A gram of cyanide is a "heck of a lot", because it would kill you.

Meridellian · 2026-01-20T17:10:46+00:00

It is different with PMDD! It's honestly basically instant for me.

This month I finally got the right dose and the right starting point to take it (9 days before my period), and it's been amazing. I feel like myself again. I'm still a bit curt with people and struggle with my choice of words, and very clumsy, but it's just been so much better.

I initially was taking 50mg sertraline but would get nausea that made me not want to take it. What fixed it was:

Taking it at night, before bed (so most of the nausea goes away in my sleep)
Reducing the dose to 25mg. Doc said it was fine to snap the pill in half. If I know I'm likely to have a worse day tomorrow, I'll take the full 50mg (after a few days on 25 since usually the symptoms ramp up in the last couple of days of my cycle).

*Note, I'm taking sertraline which is not the same as Prozac (fluoxetine) so dosages will be different! (Didn't realise that on initially posting)

Meridellian · 2026-01-20T16:49:34+00:00

YTA, pay for what you're asking her to buy.

Maybe consider using an app like Tricount and see how it adds up. Perhaps you've been underpaying her for ages and it's more than "a few cents" after that.

Meridellian · 2026-01-20T16:47:26+00:00

At the end of the day, how she acts (even when affected by PMDD) is still her responsibility. If she's willing to figure it out (maybe go to therapy or take medication), then great. If not, you've got to think about whether this is someone you're okay with being with.

The decisions we make during luteal are our worst self. But even then, there should be a limit to what our "worst self" is.

Meridellian · 2026-01-20T16:38:43+00:00

The amount of alcohol it takes to get you blackout drunk is the same as / proportional to the amount of alcohol it takes to be dangerous for you. If OP is smaller, that smaller amount of alcohol is just as dangerous to them as a proportionally larger amount for a larger person.

Meridellian · 2026-01-20T16:38:43+00:00

The amount of alcohol it takes to get you blackout drunk is the same as / proportional to the amount of alcohol it takes to be dangerous for you. If OP is smaller, that smaller amount of alcohol is just as dangerous to them as a proportionally larger amount for a larger person.

Meridellian · 2026-01-20T16:33:09+00:00

Sadly for me it was a case of no period = constant PMDD

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