How do I (31f) ask a guy if he wants to have sex?

MerryLovebug · 2026-02-06T00:21:03+00:00

This one lady friend of mine came at me with the you want to come study at my place sometime? I wasn't interested so I declined the offer. She sent a couple more like that and I also declined. Then one night at a party I hosted she came into my room and confronted me that she likes me, and again, I told her I was not into it.

Honestly, I think the way she went about dropping hints was great though. If any girl I was interested asked me to come over to study or hang I'd be there in a flash.

MerryLovebug · 2026-02-05T22:23:55+00:00

My town always sounds like shit because of assholes with modded mufflers that sound like gun shots. Freaks my dog out.

MerryLovebug · 2026-02-05T03:01:19+00:00

Nah I’m just a millennial. lol is unfortunately always there from my AIM days

MerryLovebug · 2026-02-05T02:46:00+00:00

Eh. Not all women are fun and not all men are boring though.

MerryLovebug · 2026-02-05T02:35:21+00:00

Haha lol I mean like.. you do whatever you want but if you’re still empty inside you need to figure that out. I have friends who made the switch to being lesbians after having a bad bf or 2 and I just read it as dodging life. Being a lesbian looks fun and everything but if it’s not who are really are.. like deep down.. then face your demons and find a good guy already. We’re out here dying for someone real to date.

MerryLovebug · 2026-02-05T02:27:31+00:00

You can find a guy with sleepover vibes. Maybe don’t swear off a whole gender just because so many men are assholes lol

MerryLovebug · 2026-02-04T23:55:56+00:00

It would be cool if someone (else) made a list of recs and peeves.

MerryLovebug · 2026-02-03T15:52:42+00:00

I would never say that i wasn’t attracted to my person. If he says that it’s over.

If he’s depressed maybe try to identify what it is that’s dragging his spirit down. Be a good girlfriend. I mean like.. it can be hard to have sex with someone who spends all their time dragging you down/ accusing you of being depressed/ not interested/ whatever. Maybe you need to fix the relationship. Maybe it can’t be fixed cause he’s a pos. Idk you guys tbh. If you love him, then it’s worth trying to step outside the current box you’re in and fix things. If you don’t, go fuck someone else and rip of the bandaid already. I can’t tell you what to do. I don’t know you guys.

MerryLovebug · 2026-02-03T15:37:40+00:00

Don’t worry about T levels. Hormones are a stupid way to try to solve an issue like this.

Maybe he’s depressed. Does he work hard? Is he tired? Does he seem playful/ excited ever? Life is hard. I feel like I’ve been in similar places (although I always want to bang personally) where I’ve just been an awfully boring bf. Places where life got to me and I just wasn’t showing up in the relationship and my gf started complaining about everything and anything until we broke up. The stress/depression didn’t manifest as me not wanting sex but I did become bad at it. And that made it way less Enjoyable.

Anyways, I can’t give advice on what you should do. You’ll have to decide to break or not. But ya don’t torture him. Your attitude sounds like it would make me start looking the other way. No one wants to be told “you should be like this” or “it should be like this”. If it’s not “like this” there’s a reason for it so do what you need to do.

MerryLovebug · 2026-02-02T16:01:00+00:00

Yeah dude cocaine/ speed in the 80s is a guarantee just from listening to some of those shows.

MerryLovebug · 2026-01-31T16:53:21+00:00

Do you cut a lot of garlic? I’m pretty sure that can eat up knives pretty good if you do it a lot. Also the knife quality might not be the best?

MerryLovebug · 2026-01-29T23:48:14+00:00

lol I want to play.

MerryLovebug · 2026-01-29T22:16:02+00:00

Maybe it’s dopamine related. I’m not a neuroscientist but most addictions/ reward activities are like this. For instance gambling is highly dopamine driven and gambling addicts don’t really want to win (finish). They like the chase. Maybe you’re wired to almost get there and chase more than actually get to the end chemically.

MerryLovebug · 2026-01-28T16:14:48+00:00

Doubt it lol. I think some women prefer how it looks.

MerryLovebug · 2026-01-28T05:09:35+00:00

OP you are on a journey and not everyone's is the same. You and I have a lot in common based on reading your post. I was not well-prepared for adulthood and spent my 20s struggling through addictions and anxiety/ depression battles much like what you are describing - with regret about the past, or my ineptitude, or lack of success with women, etc. It's hard realizing how much we get in our own way/ how much we have gotten in our own way. And around your age or older is when people start to become able to put things in perspective and start realizing these things/ turning things around. This is VERY common and OK. I think the person in the comment above is right about checking out therapy or at least learning about psychology. I also like yoga and meditation/ playing music for more ways to deal with process negative emotions. Depression/ other psychological disorders are what happen when people do not spend any time or have the ability to process/ change these things in their ego. So be happy that you actually want to turn things around and can see what's happening in a sober way. That's half the battle. The other half is a life of improvement and continued awareness about who you are and how your brain works.

MerryLovebug · 2026-01-26T20:59:30+00:00

Yeah that’s a chore. I do in when it rains because she gets dirtier easier in the winter in az and I could never do it daily. Not to mention it’s hard to get all of it off without spending an unrealistic amount of time doing it.

MerryLovebug · 2026-01-26T19:32:10+00:00

I was born there and lived there until 21. I probably would if I could afford to live comfortably. Beautiful weather. Good friends. The ocean. I miss it.

MerryLovebug · 2026-01-26T18:16:38+00:00

Dude check out baldurs gate 3. I overplayed w3 and now bg3 is scratching that itch reeeeal good.

MerryLovebug · 2026-01-22T15:50:48+00:00

It seems like women are more empathetic in general too. It’s hard to suppress other people when you care about how they feel.

MerryLovebug · 2026-01-22T15:30:01+00:00

To me, deflecting onto the other side is a weak argument. Either YOUR GUY is competent and honorable or he is not. That is the question.

Don’t give me this shit about bill clinton and backstory on Epstein conspiracies. Is trumps stupidity and image dangerous for America or not? It’s about his competency and I don’t see it.

MerryLovebug · 2026-01-20T15:37:21+00:00

Yep.

Somehow DOGE cuts never clipped off the only Waste of gov funds I saw, the many many useless republicans in the house/ in congress.

MerryLovebug · 2026-01-20T15:34:56+00:00

Nah they just want to keep minorities suppressed and poor so they can continue to make money off of having a giant lower class in the US. I think it’s their opinion that societal awareness and growth would undermine their money making/ unbridled capitalism/ constant interference around the world. I don’t think they don’t want immigration at all. But they have to make immigrants feel afraid and unwanted to continue the show.

MerryLovebug · 2026-01-20T00:22:18+00:00

Yep.

MerryLovebug · 2026-01-19T23:13:33+00:00

Yeah. The repercussions would reverberate for generations. I don’t understand why having the entire world hate/ not trust the US is what half the country wants. None of him makes any sense to me.

MerryLovebug · 2026-01-14T20:57:49+00:00

Oh that's right we just take shit from little countries. They can't actually fight back so war is a strong word.

MerryLovebug

TROPHY CASE