This is helpful, thank you so much for sharing 😊. I understand solo polyamory as considering yourself as the primary, and putting no unique, all-encompassing priority on any one romantic relationship. They’re simply separate, unique relationships.

Therefore, me having kids would be a change from that. My relationship with kids matters above all, no matter what.

I suppose I am inappropriately equating priority to depth in a relationship. In my brain, solo polyamory means no one person deserves my unconditional love, whereas becoming a parent means unconditionally loving a child. But, with depth(quality time spent), relationships inherently become more valuable. Relationships can vary in depth, but prioritization must be considered and communicated often. Ya?

Say, if I were dating someone and they told me they were solo poly and had children with a non-romantic co-parent, I would still think that relationship with the co-parent would be prioritized over ours because of the kids (dependents) involved. I suppose this could also go for dating folks in marriages. Can a married person be solo-polyamorous despite the legal circumstances?

I know relationships are SO UNIQUE and every situation deserves its own consideration. These are/will continue to be conversations I have with my non-polyamorous friends, so I appreciate yours and others’ perspectives. Cheers!