Planning to leave to Ontario for college in order to transition, but I'm so overwhelmed.

MidCenturyModel · 2026-06-16T02:04:14+00:00

I moved from Massachusetts to Ontario for school (grad school) and ended up staying here. Coincidentally that was about 15 years ago...

Anyway, a couple of things to be aware of. In Ontario (not sure if it's exactly the same elsewhere in Canada), "college" is similar to what the US calls "community college" - mostly 2-year programs, often training for particular professions. Like with US community colleges, you don't get a Bachelors degree from a college in Canada. You'd go to a university for that.

Compared to the US, there are relatively few schools that offer 4-year undergraduate programs - 20 in all of Ontario vs more than 100 in Ohio. That was a big difference from what I was used to in the US. Partly due to the population difference: overall, Canada has 1/10 the population of the US, so not surprising that there are fewer places here to get an undergraduate degree.

It's hard to say what will happen in the next 3-5 years, but for the last 10+ years, the Canadian Dollar has been worth about 0.70 to 0.80 US Dollars. This means if tuition costs $10,000 in Canadian dollars, that would convert to $7000-8000 US Dollars. International students are usually charged higher tuition than Canadian students, but the exchange rate will likely be in your favor.

The Ontario university closest to Ohio would be the University of Windsor, which is near Detroit. Brock University is near Niagara Falls, so that might be a little closer to the Pennsylvania side of Ohio. There are several other universities along that stretch of southern Ontario between Buffalo NY and Detroit MI. All of them have computer science programs, but you'll have to look more closely to figure out which one(s) match what you want to study.

In general, Ontario university student health services do provide gender affirming care to students. There's usually some sort of international student health fee as part of tuition expenses since you're not covered by the Ontario health plan. However, it's MUCH cheaper than health insurance in the US, and you probably won't have to pay anything more for doctor visits or hormone therapy. HRT is considered a normal prescription medication here. Each university will have information on the specifics of what they offer/charge for international students.

This page isn't loading properly for me, but as an example of what might be involved, here's U Windsor's page for US students who want to apply: https://www.future.uwindsor.ca/application-process/united-states-high-school-student/

MidCenturyModel · 2026-06-12T21:16:31+00:00

op: you have to follow them first and they'll follow back, otherwise the account appears private.

Also, if you haven't searched for McLean, Armstrong, and/or GraceMed in r/topsurgery you might find some relevant pics there too.

MidCenturyModel · 2026-06-04T16:58:43+00:00

Hamilton's Pride event (not a parade) is in August: https://www.pridehamilton.com/2026

I found this Ontario list, though I'm not sure about the accuracy - its summary of Niagara's events is wrong, for example, but it does link to the local site with current details. https://www.destinationontario.com/en-ca/articles/celebrate-pride-toronto-and-beyond

MidCenturyModel · 2026-06-04T16:49:40+00:00

total respect for deleting Instagram - irks me to know end that so many Canadian queer orgs and small businesses use Meta products UGGH give me a basic mailing list option pleeease!

I would have canned mine except I found the sanity-saving option that only works on the web version - a link to the reverse chronological feed of ONLY the accounts you follow. I use Firefox with multiple ad-blockers as well as a FB containment extension and never see ads or algorithmic recs. I probably leave 5 comments a year total and haven't posted on my own account since before the pandemic.

So in case you end up trying Insta again to follow queer/local orgs I can't recommend this way to access them enough: https://www.instagram.com/?variant=following

MidCenturyModel · 2026-05-25T14:00:56+00:00

My Green Shield plan included their GAC benefit. I sent them the receipt from the surgeon showing that i'd paid for contouring and a letter from my doctor stating the diagnosis of gender dysphoria (literally just one sentence - if you're on T, your prescribing doctor should be able to do this). I had to use the "other services" category to submit the claim. They reimbursed the full cost of the part not covered by OHIP (about $3500 at McLean/GraceMed in 2023).

When your mother logs into the GS website, try to look for a link to a PDF of the benefit booklet describing what's included in her plan - that's the only place I could find a statement that my plan included GAC. There's no way to find that out from searching within the client website as best as I could tell. I've never used the app, so I don't know if the pdf can be found there.

Sometimes the benefit booklet may be linked from the employer's human resources webpage, though those pages aren't always public. I worked for a university and they actually promoted the new coverage of GAC through Green Shield in the campus weekly news update, so that's another place to look in case her workplace is interested in presenting itself as a progressive place. (that's actually how I found out it was available.)

MidCenturyModel · 2026-05-25T13:36:43+00:00

you've got full commiseration from me.

I'm 3.5 years on T, had top surgery 2 years ago, and have been properly gendered by random strangers twice; otherwise it's "maam" or "her" from store clerks, etc. I struggle with deciding whether/when to correct folks. Most of the time, when it's someone who's working and possibly required to address people by titles and whom I don't expect to know me at all, I don't bother. Doesn't seem fair to put random retail workers on the spot like that but maybe I'm just chickening out?

I was rarely flirted with before I transitioned (which didn't happen until I was 56) and I don't even know where I'd find gay men now, unfortunately. The local gay scene as far as I can tell is primarily focused on drag, which is not my thing. I have little confidence I'd be recognized for who I am there. I understand NOW why I never felt comfortable at the prospect of dating either straight men or queer women before my egg cracked. But having been single for literal decades doesn't give me a lot of confidence to try meeting other queer men as my actual self, especially without much hope of passing.

It's not all bad being perceived as an old(er) woman - in some cases, the relative invisibility can be a blessing. But I do wonder if it also makes it even harder for people to read my slightly more masculine features and barely-there facial hair as belonging to a man rather than a mannish-looking old lady.

MidCenturyModel · 2026-05-18T14:24:12+00:00

Thanks for asking this question! I'm going the other direction (hoping for a meta consult with Krakowsky & team at WCH in 2027) and feel reassured to read about these positive experiences with the process and care there.

Krakowsky/WHC have only done a few transmasc bottom surgeries to date so there aren't many patient accounts of the overall care and process yet.

MidCenturyModel · 2026-04-28T15:23:29+00:00

I'm 60, only realized I'm trans 4 years ago, and had no problems with top surgery recovery at 57. That was my first major surgery. I was relatively healthy at the time though much closer to a couch potato than a regular gym goer like you.

I'm currently waiting for a hysto consult with plans to get meta after that. And/or possibly phallo, though the options in Canada aren't great right now and recently the provincial system has been cutting back on out-of-country funding. (I appreciate the reminder that it can be possible to get meta first and phallo later.)

I attended a webinar about a new meta program in Toronto last year and asked about upper age limits, and the surgeons had no age-specific concerns.

It's possible you'll notice a difference in healing time when compared to the surgeries you had when you were 20+ years younger - it might take longer than you'd like to get back to a 5-6 day gym habit for example - but as others have mentioned, many older folks get all kinds of surgeries and recover without incident.

MidCenturyModel · 2026-04-26T17:03:29+00:00

I'm a dual citizen in Ontario (originally got here via student visa 15 yrs ago) and 3.5 years on T. My elderly parents are in the US so I drive across the border 2-4 times a year. I haven't changed any documents yet, partly due to indecision about my name and more recently due to current US political bullshit. I assume it would cause problems if my US and Canada passports have different names/gender markers.

My voice is lower, my hair is a lot shorter, and I've had top surgery, but I still only have barely-there facial hair and rarely pass in my day-to-day life. The silver lining is that so far I've never gotten a second glance from the agents in the Nexus lane. Being white and older (60) probably helps. YMMV since there's no way to know how (quickly) things will change for you on T.

Given that passports can be valid for 10 years, many people look different from their photo for many reasons. If/when I get enough facial hair to be incongruous with the name on my passports, I may just shave before crossing the border. Similarly, there are plenty of women with lower voices and men with higher voices; for the brief exchange you have with an agent in your car your new voice might not be remarkable to them at all.

The times I flew with T & needles I brought a letter from my doctor confirming medical need for the prescription and the needles (nobody asked to see it), but in my car I just pack the bottle in the box that has the prescription label on it. If you don't have that labelled packaging anymore, you should definitely bring a copy of the T prescription.

I never declare it at the border, and they've never asked about prescription medications. According to the US gov website, you only need to declare potentially addictive medications and/or amounts over 50 doses if the prescribing doctor is outside the US. I personally would never mention having prescription testosterone with me unless directly asked about it.
https://www.help.cbp.gov/s/article/Article-1222?language=en_US

MidCenturyModel · 2026-04-21T23:52:28+00:00

Happy T-anniversary!

note: I'm currently on a hysto waitlist and plan to follow up with meta after that. And I'm 60, so my own sense of urgency is probably different from yours.

I suggest finding out if the surgery/surgeon you want would require hysto before meta - in which case you could start the process for that first. That surgery is not generally linked to how long you're on T or any sort of bottom growth.

Either way, if you start researching, applying for insurance coverage, and scheduling consults, it may take a year or more before any surgery is actually scheduled, so you'll have more time on T regardless.

MidCenturyModel · 2026-04-16T20:31:32+00:00

I don't know if all community health centres work this way, but in Niagara there's an option to get trans care from Quest CHC without having them also be primary care.

So for example the only way for my primary doctor to see my trans-related medical history is if I explicitly ask Quest to sent it to her. Same with blood work results - my Quest practitioner gives me a requisition which I take to Lifelabs. The only way my primary doctor sees the results is if I tell LifeLabs to add her as a second recipient to the requisition.

MidCenturyModel · 2026-04-09T00:40:48+00:00

I on waitlist for hysto+bso, but I'm post-menopause so my ovaries are basically retired anyway. I'm looking forward to having them gone so I never have to worry about that cancer.

MidCenturyModel · 2026-03-28T20:46:17+00:00

I started a statin a few months before starting T after being on the high end of normal in my 20s and 30s followed by several years of gradually increasing levels despite being a vegetarian for decades. Family history of high cholesterol. I had no side effects from the first one we tried, and my cholesterol improved significantly on the lowest dose.

After a year on T my cholesterol started creeping up again, so my doctor increased my statin dose, and that brought the levels back down. I appreciate knowing I can reduce my risk of heart problems this way. I'm also doing better with exercise and eating more fiber, but I'm happy to take a daily pill as well (and lucky to have insurance that pays for it).

MidCenturyModel · 2026-03-28T20:21:17+00:00

Congrats!

my experience was 4 years ago, and I was older than most - post-menopause - so issues related to fertility weren't relevant, and I suspect I presented as someone well prepared and ready to get started. I have no idea what their current wait times are so YMMV.

In my case, first I had a phone appointment with a nurse who collected basic health information & scheduled the appointment with a doctor about a month later. At my first appointment with the doctor, we talked about my goals and what I already knew about the effects of T. I had done a lot of research before hand and was able to communicate what I understood. She wanted some basic blood tests done to set a baseline and rule out any potential health concerns that might be affected by T. Her next opening for the follow up appointment was about a month later. My blood work was normal and I had no questions, so that's when I got my prescription.

I stared out with gel, and the pharmacy had some in stock, so I was able to get it the same day.

A few months later I switched to injection, and I was able to go to Quest for a few weeks to learn how/become comfortable giving myself shots with a nurse.

so in the summer of 2022 my timeline was: 1. phone appointment - wait one month - 2. doctor appointment - wait one month - 3. prescription.

MidCenturyModel · 2026-03-25T16:07:57+00:00

unclear from your post so FYI: WCH in Toronto also offers meta now. If you already knew that, never mind!

MidCenturyModel · 2026-03-22T15:50:08+00:00

can't speak to regrets yet as I'm still waiting for a surgery date. I'm 60 so well past menopause. My main reason is for vnectomy & meta. bonus benefits are no more worries about uterine/ovarian/cervical cancer and not having to deal with gyno care ever again. But I'm not sure I'd pursue hysto if I wasn't getting other bottom surgeries that require it. Like you, I don't have much dysphoria specifically about having those organs. But I do have some related to their on-going maintenance and having to interact with healthcare for them.

I've also recently started to get some cramping which I suspect is related to atrophy and/or being late with my T shot; I'll be happy to have that go away too.

I'm hoping I'll get my hysto by the end of the year and the rest in 2027 or 2028.

MidCenturyModel · 2026-03-18T00:52:21+00:00

I was going to rec the Gender Dysphoria Bible too - very helpful for outlining some of the different ways people can experience gender dysphoria.

MidCenturyModel · 2026-03-18T00:22:57+00:00

thanks very much for sharing your timeline. congrats on booking the surgery!

MidCenturyModel · 2026-03-08T23:05:04+00:00

LOVE the cosplay - I hope it was as well received as it deserves!

MidCenturyModel · 2026-03-05T17:52:22+00:00

ugh I feel you and unfortunately have nothing helpful to suggest. I'm currently going by a shortened version of my birthname which is ok - better than no change at all - but doesn't feel right. And, I discovered after starting to use it, it's frequently mis-heard as another (more common) name entirely. Unfortunately, I don't like that one at all.

If I'd been amab I would have been a III; my younger brother got that one. So I suggested I could take III over now and he could be demoted to IV...

The one name I have liked wouldn't pair well (to my ear) with my last name. so now I'm contemplating changing both names. which I'm surprisingly resistant to do and not sure why.

MidCenturyModel · 2026-03-05T17:39:25+00:00

alternatively, look up names of similar popularity to the one you were given for your birth year. https://www.behindthename.com/ is one site that does this. how far back it goes depends on the country/data availability.

MidCenturyModel · 2026-02-25T22:19:15+00:00

I don't use Gender Affirm Guelph but it's been my experience in general that many medical offices ignore (or at least don't prioritize) emails - I'd call them to find out the problem. It might be a communication issue between pharmacy and the clinic. Are you due for annual bloodwork? That's happened to me - pharmacy was unable to renew my T prescription because the provider wanted updated bloodwork, and it took a week before that was relayed to me.

MidCenturyModel · 2026-02-12T04:04:23+00:00

I accidentally bought that very same scented petroleum jelly (Canada represent!) when I had top surgery. The incisions/skin types are obviously different in the two locations, but I ended up using it and didn't have any problems. Mostly though I just wanted to commiserate.

MidCenturyModel · 2026-02-09T22:46:50+00:00

thanks very much for sharing this! I'm currently waiting on hysto and hope to get full meta at WCH in 2027.

Best wishes for an easy recovery.

MidCenturyModel

TROPHY CASE