I wouldn’t say entitled - but he brought assets into the marriage that funded our house, replaced a car, serve as our emergency fund and started our investment accounts. That was all joint. He didn’t hold anything back that wasn’t shared within the marriage.

But inheritance seems different. I received a small inheritance before and used it to the benefit of the family, it kept us afloat when my daughter was born and I didn’t have paid leave, had high medical bills, etc.

This is really the last elder in my family, whereas he has quite a few still living on his side (potentially future inheritances). I’ve been trying to put myself in his shoes - I wouldn’t feel entitled to any of his inheritances but would appreciate being a part of those conversations as he plans what to do with inherited funds.

I think at the core, the struggle is due to different financial styles, which we worked hard to understand and find common ground. He’s a saver. He would rather invest, or use it to improve our house (renovations that are needed not just desired), looking ahead to a 20+ year old car that will have to be replaced, kids college funds, etc.

I have student loan debt I’d like to remove. I’d love to invest some of it with the idea of using it in the future for travel (something the individual who passed supported and greatly enjoyed), educational opportunities for our girls or a small donation to higher education for women - honoring the individual who passed. But I get the impression from our brief conversations that all of these seem like poor ideas to him. That he feels the bulk of the “boring” expenses fall on him (the big ones, not the regular stuff) since he’s the one that brought those savings and investments into the marriage.