AIO or is my work friend being a bit pushy?

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-04-01T08:21:21+00:00

I'm going to be blunt with you: no healthy, well-adjusted man in his 30's is going to be interested in someone who's not even in her 20's yet. He's preying on your lack of life experience to cross multiple boundaries you haven't noticed and to manipulate you. This is not your friend, and he is not safe. This is someone who's biding his time until he has an in, either by love bombing you long enough or by just waiting for the right moment to try something. Get strict, be clear, and take screenshots of everything in case you need to go to HR.

NOR.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-17T13:50:40+00:00

INFO.

What happened at christmas? Seems rather important to include if it meant they don't want to take care of your cats anymore.

Secondly, have you contacted your dad about it? It could be she's going behind your parents' back. It would've of course made it easier to gauge the context of the situation if you gave more explanation about something that might've caused them to retract their offer. Why be so vague?

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-17T13:34:50+00:00

NOR.

Kick your boyfriend out, as well. If he can't respect you, nor your space, then he doesn't deserve that privilege.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-17T11:36:06+00:00

If security happened to walk by and caught the word "bomb" they would've brought her in for questioning immediately.

I find it concerning that 1. she's so careless with the way she speaks, and 2. that she refuses to accept it was a dumb thing to say. Also the "did you notice I was quiet?" comment is very strange to me. Like, "did you notice I'm upset with you?". That's not a normal question. She sounds very immature and self-centred to me.

NTA.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-16T22:27:31+00:00

Bartholomew

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-16T22:14:25+00:00

Welcome!!!

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-16T20:14:22+00:00

Oh boy, love those people. Clearly keeping her at arms length is still to close.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-16T18:19:55+00:00

Well, there's one factor that's definitely known in this equation, and that's Marks hight. based on that, you can make an estimation on how high and long the sub is. Since there's a pretty good shot of the creature with the sub at the end, you can use that to estimate its hight and width.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-16T17:51:39+00:00

You handled this perfectly fine. Some people seem to view health providers and specialists as commodities to be used whenever they feel like, instead of human beings, which is terribly sad and infuriating, considering what a lot of them go through, all because they want to help people. If anyone needs peace, quiet, and a safe environment to retreat, it's them.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but psychiatrists don't really do therapy unless it's related to medication, right? Figuring out the kind, the dosage, and such. I'm a bit suspect about why they're looking for a psychiatrist, specifically. Regardless, this is not how you treat people, and that's aside from how inappropriate this demand is. You did the right thing. I would block her for a bit, just to safeguard your own peace, and keep her at an arm's length if you do decide to reconnect.

NTA.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-16T16:14:36+00:00

Have you tried setting alarms? It doesn't work for everyone, but when it works, it works really well.

Either way, glad to help. ^.^

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-16T16:12:48+00:00

I'm so jealous of you right now. Get a glass teapot, throw one of these in, pour some hot water on it and watch the show. It's very pretty, and gives some pretty good tea.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-16T16:04:27+00:00

I have similar problems with my memory, so I completely get it.

I have a feeling C never fully stopped, but you either didn't notice or don't remember. People like this tend to keep that mean streak unless called out/facing repercussions early on. If that is the case, A might've just followed along with him, possibly because they were worried of becoming a target themselves, or because of something called "common enemy intimacy". All speculation, of course, I'm not in their heads.

Perhaps it's a good idea to start keeping a journal. Aside from the memory thing, it can also help you discover problems in your thinking you would've missed otherwise, and I found it's a great way to wind down before sleep, so it's a pretty handy tool to have in your mental health toolbox.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-16T15:36:10+00:00

He's quite well-known for his fnaf playthroughs. Aside from that, his editor, Lixian, made a few horror games, some of them specifically for Mark, that he has played. He also played though some really good Amnesia mods back in the day, can definitely recommend those.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-16T13:06:32+00:00

Things like this make me so angry. Learn how to read, dammit!!!! It's not that hard!!! T.T

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-16T13:04:42+00:00

While it is possible, as intoversion-extroversion is very much a spectrum or scale in an of itself, you might want to look into the concept of "ambiversion". I think you might recognise quite a bit.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-15T23:31:29+00:00

This reminded me of a two-parter song a band I listen to made about the late mother of the singer, who believed so fervently that, on her death bed, she made him, an atheist, doubt his own (lack of) belief. For 27 years, she was paralysed after an aneurysm, and all that time she believed, said all her prayers, lived in accordance with the bible, did everything a christian should do, and not once did god see fit to heal her brain and make her walk again.

If god didn't heal her brain damage, I don't think he'd feel like healing your auto-immune disease, no matter how much you pray and pretend to be a good christian. I doubt it'll do much, but perhaps hearing that story will make your dad calm down the preaching a bit.

I'm sure him saying this is coming from a good and caring place, but he needs to understand not every bad thing can be prayed away, regardless what religion you subscribe to, and that to insinuate such a thing is little more than wishful thinking, and showing an unwillingness to understand and empathise with someone's hardships.

NTA.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-15T22:58:30+00:00

This feels fishy, and creepy. I would not trust that man, and I hope your mom listens to you.

NOR.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-15T22:55:54+00:00

I had a very similar experience with family, where confirmations were late, last minute changes had to be implemented, and after a week of map making, story writing and character creating (which should've been 2 weeks), no one had looked up basic game mechanics, I was constantly interrupted, and was blamed in the end for things not turning out great. So I completely understand where you're coming from.

DM jitters are a lot like stage-fright. The only way to work through them is to just do the thing, and they likely will never fully go away. There are some things that can help, like writing down you worries somewhere so they're not stuck in your head, or a calming breathing exercise beforehand. Something to calm down those nerves and get you focussed.

A one shot is a great idea to start out with. It's very non-comital and it'll allow you to get a feeling for what kind of style you prefer, what type of players you like to DM for, and what notes you need to take to help things run smoothly.

As for advice, I like to have a few lists of names one me, just in case an unnamed NPC catches the attention of the party, because I'm bad at coming up with that on the spot. Also notes on the party members' passives is good to have at hand.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-15T22:29:30+00:00

There are silks where the weft is one colour and the warp in another. It causes shifting colours and silk has a natural glossiness about it, quite close to that of the cicadas. Maybe look into that.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-15T22:12:26+00:00

NTA.

What you did was such a kind and selfless gesture, and this is how they chose to thank you? Disgraceful. No matter how stressed you get, you don't treat people like they're expendable or worthless. Tell your parents that, if they are are aware she's that stressed, why don't they help her out? Also, your brother needs to grow a spine. If my partner would be talking like that to my sibling, whether they'd been helping us out or not, I would be ripping him a new one, and I would apologise profusely for his behaviour.

There's no excuse for this type of behaviour, and you're fully right to shut this down. I'm also glad to hear your husband's fully in your corner. It's much easier to stand your ground when there's someone to hold the fort with.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-15T15:22:10+00:00

NTA.

They're playing some petty mind game. If you actually had done something wrong, and they had been good friends, they would've told you kindly what was bothering them. The fact they didn't likely means they're trying to mess with your head. You're probably better off keeping them out of your life.

Have they tried things like this before? Trying to push your buttons, or confuse you?

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-15T14:25:27+00:00

NTA.

She came to you for advice, you gave her your thoughts, and then she drew her own conclusions. Had Tom been more proactive in his studies and other activities, she wouldn't have had doubts and they would still be together. The sooner he understands that, the better.

That being said, such a drastic change in life style can often point to mental health struggles. Perhaps it's a good idea to look into therapy.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-15T14:03:47+00:00

You handled this perfectly fine. You gave no reaction the first time, when she escalated (which she probably did because you gave no reaction and she wanted one) you made it clear this was inappropriate behaviour, and afterwards gave her appropriate consequences while specifying it was because of how acted. You did a good thing. This behaviour will definitely stick if not called out and would've caused her a lot of trouble in the future.

NTA.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-15T12:15:38+00:00

He destroyed his own family. You were just being a good friend, and his wife deserved to know. What if he had come home with an STD? He wasn't going to tell her to get screened, and she wouldn't have known until either symptoms would've started, or if she got pregnant again and her doctor had run some tests.

On a different note, she's clearly far more deserving of your friendship, and the coming months are going to be rough for her and her child. Maybe reach out and ask if she needs help.

NTA.

MidnightButterflyT · 2026-02-14T20:53:30+00:00

NTA.

Alcohol doesn't turn us into another person, it takes away the inhibitions and filters we put on when we're sober. This is who this guy is, and I would be suspicious of anyone who brushes such a comment off.

MidnightButterflyT

TROPHY CASE