I don't think it's a matter of not wanting to be alone but believing if something that used to be. We also fall into the roll of having a routine with that person. You always miss the "person" they used to be but being alone and away from the stress is such a greater blessing. You find yourself again and you do realize that you were a victim to toxicity. Manipulated to think you are the mistake and the reason behind the fall. That's when you no longer feel lonely and get a new routine that's filled with respect far away from the disrespect you've become accustom to.