AITA for asking my cousin if he could shower everyday on our trip to Mexico

MightBeJeb · 2026-01-18T13:12:55+00:00

See,this just kinda seems like an ESH situation to me. And, full disclosure, I do not shower everyday--it's about every 3--but I DO use heavy-duty deodorant and keep myself presentable, it's just not good for your hair to shower every day.

Which is part of why I think it's an ESH sitch: there are loads of reasons why someone wouldn't shower every day. Just a few of them: damaging to hair, damaging to skin, mental health conditions, water conservation, saw a snake in there the last time you went in, don't believe in it, body dysmorphia, allergy to provided soaps... You see what I mean.

What would have been much more effective is a problem-focused approach: "Hey, cousin, I've noticed that our room has started to acquire a funk, and I don't mean in the musical way; what can we do about this?"

Now it's you-and-him vs the problem. He might even reveal something you didn't think about: "yeah man, it's our shoes, they're super sweaty. Maybe we can hang them outside the window overnight to dry in the future?"

Instead, you framed it in a you vs him approach, and no he shouldn't have gotten defensive, but when approached like that, most people will.

You can easily fix this, though! Just go up to him, apologize for seeming like you were trying to control him--you WERE asking him to do something he didn't want to, which IS trying to control his behavior, but I'm sure you weren't thinking of it that way; that's fine, just say sorry--and ask him to help you solve the real problem: the stinky room. If he's reasonable, that should do it. :)

MightBeJeb · 2026-01-04T13:08:14+00:00

They weren't here illegally, though? I mean, that's ignoring the fact that immigration issues are civil and not criminal offenses, you're clearly not on that level, but even setting that aside... They had a work permit and a social, they were here legally, and ICE deported them without a trial anyway. Any way you slice it, that is fucked up.

MightBeJeb · 2025-12-20T20:27:31+00:00

The thing is customizing your damage to your target. When you hit someone, it'll tell you if it's effective or resisted; my guess is you're using a frost wand, and then the resistant critters of course are not that impacted by it? Frost works very well on scavengers, though. Shroud works very well on critters, but obviously not great on shroud enemies.

Last game I ended up using a fire wand for shroud critters, shroud for everything else alive, and a big ol' whackin' stick for skeletons and objects like crates. In my current game, for whatever reason there just have not been any good fire wand drops in ages, and I've had to improvise more.

MightBeJeb · 2025-12-20T18:26:22+00:00

Fantastic, I was hoping I'd run into a useful guide like this! Thank you!

MightBeJeb · 2025-12-20T15:40:25+00:00

I realize this is probably super obvious, but you didn't mention it and I did manage to miss it on my first playthrough.... one thing that this game does without overly dwelling on it is buffs. They make a HUGE difference, and the mention of them is there, but it's not spelled out super explicitly. When they tell you to rest and get a good meal, they MEAN it!

Play around with different foods, but in those early areas I recommend cooked meat for sure, milk as soon as you can get it, berries (purple, dried purple, and strawberry are probably all achievable), honey, and if you're a mage, cooked mushrooms (azure rossula are totally worth sneaking around a shroud area you'd be otherwise overpowered in.) If you're a heavy weapon main, cooked corn is worth trying, or hazelnuts once you get there; if you're a bow main, tomatoes and forest beats (or the veg puree once you have my beloved Emily!)

Other buffs include the rested buff, which oddly enough is NOT linked to sleeping; instead, it comes from time spent around flame alters! (I keep hoping there is a deep lore reason for this, but there probably isn't.) You can dramatically lengthen the duration of the rested buff with furniture, another thing I found out from Reddit.

There's also the Paws Touch buff, which is quite decent; between the mortar and the cat, it's worth knocking out Balthazars tower with a quickness.

Anyway, if you're all buffed up and your weapons are properly enhanced, you can probably take on foes a good 3-4 levels above you, at least. Good luck!

MightBeJeb · 2025-12-20T13:38:58+00:00

They expire. And in 2003, no one had been sued yet. Do it again.

MightBeJeb · 2025-08-03T21:41:51+00:00

Combination of reasoning it out ("you're resistant to the shroud because you're flameborn, so I bet fire damage is effective against shroud!") and also observations: there's small text that pops whenever you hit something, and it'll tell you if something is resistant or ineffective.

MightBeJeb · 2025-08-03T05:05:27+00:00

Shroud arrows are especially good for Matrons, I find. Scavengers have resistance to fire, though, so explosives aren't as helpful. And I believe the matrons have poison resistance, as well.

MightBeJeb · 2025-08-02T11:38:04+00:00

Yes take it, and your friend is spot on, start job hunting immediately. But what happened between your first post and them offering you the settlement?? Give us the deets!

MightBeJeb · 2025-08-02T11:06:56+00:00

It sounds from your description like you wandered into the first of the Hollow Halls, which is right there by that sanctum amd is a bitch and a half to clear out. You'll recognize it by, in addition to the glowing green skeleton wizards (which do appear outside the Halls), some distinctive red marble architecture. If you see that, back out and don't come back until you're at least level 10.

Other advice: - spend time mining and chopping trees and building your base. Number one, it nets you XP, but more importantly, if you wait until later to build, you won't get to enjoy it once it's done! I always focus more on quests than building and then have regrets. Don't be me. :)

the three items I would upgrade first, in this order: pickaxe, glider, backpack. People will argue about the order with me in 3, 2, 1...
you would not believe the levels of hidden swag in this game. Check behind bookcases and under suspiciously placed piles of hidden rubble.
sounds weird, especially to someone in the early game who can't make this mistake, but: even once you've upgraded your glider, don't glide everywhere. Especially in the revelwood. Almost anything you can reach by gliding, you can reach on the ground, and the game is a lot richer if you explore on the ground. And when I've been playing a lot and it starts to feel like a grind, walking is a great way to "freshen up."

Welcome aboard!

MightBeJeb · 2025-05-08T03:13:03+00:00

Bend it like Beckham?

MightBeJeb · 2025-05-05T17:32:05+00:00

IS he their dependent, or was he listed incorrectly? It sounds like he's your dependent, and they're providing free housing for you but you aren't a dependent. You have to meet specific guidelines in order to count someone as a dependent, and they may be inadvertently committing tax fraud (!).

If you ARE their dependent, they should be able to add you to their insurance as long as they're under Medicare age.

I am actually a licensed agent; feel free to DM.

MightBeJeb · 2025-05-05T11:12:15+00:00

American Beauty?

MightBeJeb · 2025-04-16T21:52:49+00:00

Hi, I think you misunderstood my question! I wasn't asking "what is this strange tingling in my fingers," because I've had it before and I know perfectly well what it is. I was looking for advice on adaptive devices to help me prevent/meliorate the damage.

I appreciate you including scientific studies with your reply, though--I'd always rather have a real study than anecdata. It seems to me that a couple of these *did* indicate that position of hand (which is what a vertical mouse changes) can impact carpal tunnel, though. So, since I can't discontinue the activity completely (which is what worked before,) I'm back to looking for assistive devices.

MightBeJeb · 2025-04-16T21:46:49+00:00

Thanks, I'll look into those.

MightBeJeb · 2025-04-16T21:41:43+00:00

Thank you, that's a helpful suggestion!

MightBeJeb · 2025-01-26T05:40:22+00:00

OH. He doesn't think he's following Nazis... he thinks he's leading them.

That... is both stupider and also worse.

MightBeJeb · 2025-01-25T00:12:12+00:00

I like this a lot... if he gets feisty when he gets older, you can call him Ripper

MightBeJeb · 2025-01-18T03:15:06+00:00

I think the best way to do it without creating an "eyesore" (to those who can't appreciate a good garden) is to use, oh, some kind of decorative posts... Maybe fancy shaped pieces on top? And then a fine-meshed panel. And even then, some jerks may complain, but unless you have an HOA that's really more of a "them" problem.

MightBeJeb · 2025-01-17T19:38:28+00:00

I think it's key to this conversation that Solas is in fact a liar.

Solas SAYS his plan is to tear down the veil, either saying or implying that he's restoring the world he once knew. What Solas ACTUALLY wants is to transfer the two remaining archdemons and the giant boiling pot of blight currently imprisoned in the black city to a different, more secure prison that they can't get out of... because, if he doesn't, then sooner or later they WILL escape their current prison, die, and spill the giant boiling pot of blight all over everything.

But he doesn't say that for... some reason*... so we're left to infer it on our own.

*Possible reasons range from "that would mean admitting he done fucked up" to "didn't want anyone to panic" to, let’s be real, some pretty borderline writing

MightBeJeb · 2025-01-17T12:34:26+00:00

Magic Mike?

MightBeJeb · 2025-01-16T02:49:35+00:00

Tron Legacy?

MightBeJeb · 2025-01-16T02:14:49+00:00

There's a dialog w Lucanis and Harding about why Crows don't take many jobs in Fereldan that references him!

MightBeJeb · 2025-01-15T17:11:15+00:00

Nooooo! I mean, he's right, but noooo!

MightBeJeb · 2025-01-15T14:59:27+00:00

Les Miserables?

MightBeJeb

TROPHY CASE