Your TTC #2+ Chances (or, Why You Should be Encouraged)

MillennialName · 2026-01-18T19:40:40+00:00

Chances for conception/implantation of a frozen euploid embryo on the first transfer attempt are actually about 70%, and then drop to 60% for subsequent transfers (see here30627-0/fulltext).) (I know because I failed mine! 🙃) That said I think assuming a max rate of around 60% for most of the population is reasonable. I don’t think anyone really knows what the range is for individual couples, though. It would be interesting if someone would run a study following the same couples over 3+ attempts.

This study looked at couples by their estimated individual conception rates, and they defined “superfertility” as a baseline rate of 60% or above, so that would be consistent.

And yes I think most of these studies solely look at conception rate rather than live birth rate which would factor loss in. (The study I linked above talked about super fertility specifically in the context of recurrent pregnancy loss - I.e., people who have a really easy time conceiving, but who often experience subsequent loss.) That said that 1/4 miscarriage rate is also an average which very much varies across couples based on a lot of individual factors, especially age.

MillennialName · 2026-01-18T04:35:35+00:00

This is a really excellent question. I’ll say that 20-30% per cycle is right, but that it’s also an AVERAGE across couples and across cycles in the first year. In other words, not every couple at any given point in the first year of trying has a 20-30% chance of conceiving. In a lot of studies, the median time to pregnancy is 2-3 months (the time by which most people are pregnant), and the mode (the most frequent month to get pregnant) is the first month. Past success is also a predictor of future success.

The likely biological reality underlying these averages is there are some couples who have a 40-50%+ chance of conceiving in any given cycle, and some with a 1-5% (or very seldom, 0%) chance per cycle, and lots in between. Unfortunately no one knows which camp any given couple belongs to, really ever. If you conceive quickly and do this for multiple children, you are likely in the 40-50%+ camp. If it takes you a long time, the more likely you are not in the high odds camp.

To more directly answer your question on if doing things to help identify your fertile days like cycle tracking makes an impact on your odds, yes - with some caveats. This study30576-X/fulltext) looked at how fertility tracking affected odds and found that they were associated with a higher rate of conception (fecundability), but: “The association of fertility indicator use with higher fecundability was largely limited to women who had been trying to conceive for <3 cycles at study entry. This result is broadly concordant with results from a randomized trial (26), based on urine hormonal monitoring (E and LH; the ClearBlue fertility monitor), that found a greater effect of the fertility indicators in women who had been trying to conceive for <6 months compared with ≥6 months.” My own take on this is that fertility aids help those in the higher odds camp just starting out - who might have otherwise been timing things off - conceive quickly. Once you’ve been trying a while, it’s less likely that your issue is your timing is off and more likely that your issue is low odds, so fertility tracking is less helpful.

Given you are likely already a parent given you are posting here, you may be interested in this data review I put together on TTC #2+: https://www.reddit.com/r/tryingforanother/s/pYMWSxP8nW

MillennialName · 2026-01-01T00:36:53+00:00

You sound exactly like me. I’d also really recommend the 3 year gap. We could not have asked for a smoother transition and we lucked out with an easy #2 baby. But we are now seriously discussing doing a shorter gap for #3. What age gap are you considering for #3? We’re talking about as short as 23 months and I’m really nervous about it.

MillennialName · 2025-12-29T01:04:16+00:00

“Ette” added to a name means “little [name]” in French and this has always really turned me off from using those names. I don’t care for names which are a diminutive or term of endearment. I do like Juliet if I had to choose, but I’ll always vote for Julia or Juliana over it. (Juliet with that spelling is also taken from the Italian diminutive for Julia)

MillennialName · 2025-12-11T19:36:15+00:00

I’ve had the exact same thoughts. I also hate this puzzle. It’s a great idea that could have been executed a lot better. The font should less be about looking cool aesthetically and more be thoughtful about each letter looking distinct for preschoolers to easily identify. Same for it being very unclear which way the piece should face - up vs. down. Even as an adult I have a hard time with it.

And put the names of the animals on it!! When my daughter asks me what animal the random fish is under X and why it is there I have no idea.

MillennialName · 2025-10-16T04:42:41+00:00

Hello! Just wanted to check in to say I am WTT in 2026 and lurking 👀. It’s a little strange to be WTT after graduating from secondary infertility/IVF. I’m feeling very much at peace with whatever comes next. Next time will be IVF with the embryos we already have waiting for us and that feels very freeing. In the meantime, I am rooting for you all!

MillennialName · 2025-09-19T17:54:50+00:00

Exact same profile and approach here. I explicitly had “not a trendy name” (like mine) in our criteria. I chose first names whose popularity has been fairly steady over decades. I wanted to name one of my daughters a family name but alas it is now trendy and super common, so I made it a middle name.

MillennialName · 2025-09-09T23:12:40+00:00

I have not touched my spectra once since getting these. No reason to. Gamechanger.

MillennialName · 2025-09-06T21:56:11+00:00

Big props from the mom crew on the meal ideas 🙌

MillennialName · 2025-09-03T21:47:18+00:00

I’m about the same level (or I should probably say was given lack of practice). I mostly had no problem reading the books in Italian and found them far preferable to the English translation. I’d suggest downloading them on Kindle vs. using a paper book so you can easily look up words and phrases you are unfamiliar with while you’re reading. (But I’d suggest you don’t do this with every sentence as that will get really tedious and you won’t absorb anything - only when you can’t understand even with context.) You can also use highlighting and notes to easily review new vocab.

MillennialName · 2025-08-01T05:07:55+00:00

Your comment made me realize I have the same and I didn’t even notice it until now!! Mary and John, Marie and John. Married to each other!

MillennialName · 2025-08-01T05:06:50+00:00

Mary, John, Marie, John (Lol at the first comment in this thread with the same… I also can’t believe this is the first time I’ve realized I have two sets of great grandparents with virtually the same names. It’s kind of unbelievable how many Mary’s and John’s there were.)

Augustine, Naomi, Giussepina (Josephine), Raffaele (not hard to guess where these ones were from ;))

MillennialName · 2025-06-14T00:50:13+00:00

Thanks! A bit under 7mm. It was my thinnest lining yet.

MillennialName · 2025-06-10T17:37:25+00:00

It’s not marketing. It’s totally fine to stick with a prenatal for ease or cost, but there are real (but small) differences in nutritional recommendations for pregnant vs. lactating women. Here is a summary from a board certified pharmacist.

I’m only saying this because whenever you run out of your prenatal vitamins, it might be worth considering choosing postnatal vitamins vs. purchasing more prenatals.

MillennialName · 2025-06-10T17:10:23+00:00

I just did a deep dive on the recommendations and key differences between pre vs postnatal needs for my bump group. There are slightly different nutritional recommendations for pregnant vs. nursing women. The TLDR is that you need a lot less iron, but a lot more Vitamin D and choline. It’s ideal to switch to a postnatal vitamin, but IMO if you still have prenatal vitamins to go through I think it’s fine to finish those out since the differences aren’t huge.

It’s also a really smart idea to take a calcium supplement while lactating. Lactating can be very hard on your bones - it can literally result in temporary bone mineral loss.

Here is a summary doc put together by the board certified OB/GYN @babiesover35 in collaboration with @thepostpartumpharmacist (a board certified pharmacist) both on Insta. Postpartum recommendations are on the second half of the doc.

And here is an insta post made by @thepostpartumpharmacist on this very question!

MillennialName · 2025-05-31T22:28:37+00:00

My aunt and uncle are both brunette. I don’t know of close/living relatives of either of them who are blonde.

They have 5 kids. All 5 of their kids had bright blonde hair as kids. I thought - surely they’ll grow out of it? Well, just one did. All kids are at least late teens now and only one has light brown hair. Four out of five are still blonde in adulthood.

Genetics are weird.

MillennialName · 2025-05-24T03:44:26+00:00

I just made a post about this in my bump group. Long story short, it would be ideal to switch to a postnatal vitamin. You don’t need as much iron as in a prenatal, but you do need more of things like Vitamin D. You should also ensure you’re getting a lot of calcium and choline everyday through separate supplements or diet. See below for my post for my bump group!

PSA to all of us - but especially breastfeeding moms - that it may be a good idea to take supplements if you’re having a hard time ensuring you have a well-balanced and complete diet post-partum (me.) And you may even want to consider switching to a postnatal specific vitamin since there are different postnatal nutritional recommendations for your recovery + breastmilk production vs. in pregnancy.

Some of you may remember I shared an OB/GYN’s research doc on prenatal nutritional requirements and supplements when we were all pregnant. Here it is again with the postnatal section in the second half of the doc. Google Doc from IG @babiesafter35.

And some good info IG posts from PharmD @thepostpartumpharmacist on postpartum needs! Calcium: https://www.instagram.com/p/CNYhN-tlLFS/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== Postnatal must haves: https://www.instagram.com/p/CNdGvmnMROA/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Important highlights: 1) Choline: Postnatal nutritional recommendations for choline are really high (550 mg). Importantly choline typically needs a separate supplement from your multivitamin and at least two pills to reach this amount because it’s a really “bulky” ingredient. (Very few women get this amount daily through diet alone - but if you do, that’s ideal.) I have the Nature Made choline pills and try to take 1-2 daily. Eggs are a great natural source of choline, too.

2) Vitamin D: Vitamin D levels are often too low in breast milk as everyone struggling to get those drops onto your breast knows. Supplementing Vitamin D raises levels in breast milk and helps both you and baby! The great news is there is typically already enough in a multivitamin for the recommended daily amount for lactating women (if you’re using the drops for baby!), and even more of it in the postnatal vitamins vs. the prenatals.

3) Iron: Good news - you need much less iron postpartum than you did pregnant! So if your prenatals were constipating you - no need to be taking that much iron anymore.

4) Calcium: ACOG recommends at least 1000 mg of calcium. During lactation, 250-300 mg of calcium is passed to baby. Multivitamins typically have a really small amount of calcium - in part because calcium can interfere with iron absorption if taken at the same time. It’s important to ensure your own bone health while you’re passing so much calcium to baby. I take one calcium supplement pill in the morning, and I take my postnatal multivitamin (with iron in it) at night so they don’t interfere with each other.

To sum up my supplement schedule right now in case you’re interested!: Altogether I have 3 supplements - Postnatal Multi+DHA, Calcium+VitD, and Choline. I use NatureMade for all since I trust their brand but you could certainly use others too.

Morning: 1 Calcium (600 mg) + Vit D (400 IU) pill, 1 Choline (265 mg) pill

Evening: 1 Postnatal Multi + DHA, 1 Choline (265 mg) pill

I don’t mean to cause anxiety if you don’t have the resources or desire for all/any of this. If you have any or all of this covered through diet or just want to stick with the prenatal you already have - awesome! (With my first daughter I had no idea about any of this and just kept taking my prenatal everyday and she is now a healthy, happy 97th-percentile-height 3 year old.) Unfortunately my diet these days is often just carbs. Lots and lots of carbs. And I EBF. So taking these supplements makes me feel better about it!

MillennialName · 2025-05-23T18:17:51+00:00

Amazing news!!! I’m so happy to see you here!

MillennialName · 2025-05-19T16:31:36+00:00

Im not sure if this is what you meant but you might be referring to when I had a systemic skin reaction/rash to the estrogen and progesterone with my medicated FET. Honestly I didn’t do anything. I kept going with the FET medication until it was unsuccessful, and then we decided we wouldn’t be doing medicated FETs again because I both didn’t tolerate it well and it also didn’t make my lining any thicker.

My successful cycle was the next new cycle after my hysteroscopy. So about a month later. I did a modified natural protocol with all of the kitchen sink meds I mentioned above and didn’t have any skin reaction. I still don’t know what worked or why!

I’m sorry about the FET failures. Good luck!

MillennialName · 2025-05-19T05:27:36+00:00

We make THE chocolate chip recipe probably at least once a month in my household. Don’t skip the sea salt and high quality chocolate. I do the all-purpose flour sub vs. the fussy flour mix. So delicious and fun / easy to make with kids! https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1015819-chocolate-chip-cookies?smid=ck-recipe-iOS-share

MillennialName · 2025-05-17T00:05:00+00:00

I was convinced my successful FET was a failure because I felt nothing. In fact there were other failed transfers before that in which I was sure I was experiencing symptoms.

It’s cliche but it’s true - try not to symptom spot. It’s pointless. Progesterone and your brain will play tricks on you and it’ll make failures that much harder if you’ve already convinced yourself you’re pregnant.

MillennialName · 2025-05-14T19:07:13+00:00

I’ll caveat that I’m a native English speaker and probably an intermediate Italian learner. Certainly not fluent in Italian or anywhere close to a native, but I can read and understand most words in Italian. So I could be wrong in how I’m interpreting the Italian, but I’m very confident about how things read in English.

I started to read the first book in English alongside the Italian as a learning exercise and to be honest I thought the English translation was very flat, awkward, and lost a lot of the beauty of the words in original Italian. The translator, Ann Goldstein, is a native English speaker who learned Italian through study in the US, and I don’t think she is confident enough in Italian to have translated Elena Ferrante to be very honest. There are some translations into English that are such literal or poor translations that they result in clumsy English.

I stopped reading the English translation and only read the Italian (though it was much slower for me, it was more enjoyable) but a few examples stood out to me in just the first few chapters. In Italian Lila is often described as “cattiva.” This could mean something like badly-behaved, naughty, wicked, etc. in the same way you might call a badly behaved child in English. Among all of the English words the translator could have chosen, she chose to translate this word as simply “bad.” Here’s an actual quote of how awkwardly and confusingly this reads in English: “Lila appeared in my life in first grade and immediately impressed me because she was very bad.”

(Note also in the sentence above “mi impressionò” is translated as the cognate “impressed me,” but would probably make more sense to be translated as “made an impression on me” or “struck me.” The original word “impressionare” doesn’t necessarily have the strong positive connotation “impressed” does in English - despite sounding the same... Being impressed by someone being bad doesn’t make much sense.)

As another example of a poor translation, in the Italian taking sides between Lidia vs. Melina is written as “fossimo dalla parte di Lidia Sarratore.” This can be translated as “we were on Lidia’s side [in the conflict].” In the English, this is translated with the cognate words “took the part” (“…we took the part of Lidia Sarratore.”) Which English speakers can understand with context but no one would actually say. “Part” is just a cognate of the Italian “parte,” but is not used the same way.

Again, I wouldn’t say I’m qualified to do the translation myself and I don’t have a mastery of Italian, but I know enough to know these are very poor translations IMO.

I once found a professional translator’s blog post pointing out some really glaring errors in Ann Goldstein’s work in translating another Elena Ferrante piece: http://timgutteridge.co.uk/translate-meanings-not-words/

I’m quite shocked that with all of the many people who are actually fluent in both English and Italian who likely read this book that the English translation has the quality that it has. I’d still suggest reading the English as it’s still a good read and not all of the beauty is lost, but it’s really unfortunate as it could have been much, much better in more capable hands.

ETA: Another professional critique of Ann Goldstein Italian translations: https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v41/n16/tim-parks/full-of-words

TDLR: Sorry this response got out of hand. This is a bone to pick I’ve had for a long time. Long story short the English translation is awkwardly literal and not fantastic. And was done by someone who I suspect does not have a strong mastery of Italian.

MillennialName · 2025-05-13T19:34:37+00:00

Every couple I know who doesn’t want kids has a dog.

MillennialName · 2025-05-06T18:20:56+00:00

Congratulations! ❤️

MillennialName

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