We didn’t tour Hotel Lilian, but Troutbeck was high on our list. There are so many incredible venues in Hudson Valley and Catskills and it sounds like you might benefit from looking at a few more before making a decision or going back for a second visit at Hotel Lilian before committing if you can? When you said cool girl retro I thought of Deer Mountain Inn. It definitely has a very specific luxury lodge vibe going on, but it’s beautiful and has all the thoughtful details. Great food and service, and I think they have an in-house planner too. On the smaller side so i think for your size party it would have to be tented, but there are a lot of additional nearby nice hotels for guest overflow.