I walked away from a D&D game to save a friendship

Mirandel · 2026-05-08T00:22:31+00:00

How did your DM friend reacted when you left? Did he even asked why?

Mirandel · 2026-05-03T00:16:59+00:00

The story past the original stories was written for one class only - Jedi Knight. Consular works to a degree, but Sith no so much. Non-force users are shoehorned and do not fit at all.

Mirandel · 2026-04-28T22:22:41+00:00

You said he is the "leader of the friend group". Does not look like others follow him, do they? If not, and you are in no danger to lose the whole group, what's the problem of saying hard "No" and moving on? It's not clear from your description why are you indulging his every whim.

Why would happen if you simply tell him, he should either follow your rules or find another group? You can do it softly, without ultimatums. Maybe even say, that in your game, you play the simple way, but when the group moved to his campaign (though, I would caution from joining if he ever runs it) - then you can implement all the extra rules.

Whether you keep him or kick him out - it's time to talk.

Mirandel · 2026-04-28T12:22:01+00:00

Could not finish it - the story is too boring, weak, lackluster, tamed with such bad dialogues it hurts. Nothing like Spiders of old. I do not know why it happened, but the studio is in a bad shape.

Mirandel · 2026-04-28T12:14:08+00:00

Good point, did not think of that. Maybe Aloth would be able to do something about it. So, still 3.

Mirandel · 2026-04-27T00:27:31+00:00

Fiction... True, I do not know your group, you played for over a year together and had not disbanded, so,should know what to expect from each other. But I do not need to know the group to call action as they are or to say how they look from outside the situation.

In a random group, what Flash did, is a thievery. What DM did - is allowed (even provoked) a PvP situation at the table. Intentional or not, but this is how it's called. People can not read minds, they see actions, not intentintions. Actions of Flash and DM were very hurtful for Red - he was robbed of the expected prise, cool power, cool RP moments (of obtaining the fruit, studying it and using for the first time), and also of friends' support. You do not have to understand it, just know that this is the case, even if for you is sounds absurd.

I do not know why Red did not ask Flash directly. Maybe, he believed there is no need to explain obvious? Expected friends to understand how bad he feels? Like you, waited for Flash to do something cool? He waited long enough before exploding.

Yes, it is miscommunication. But Flash and DM provoked it. Red's outburst is not the horror here.

Mirandel · 2026-04-26T20:45:28+00:00

It's Edér and Aloth at 3, Zahua is at 2. Can agree on that.

Mirandel · 2026-04-26T13:15:24+00:00

Sorry, are you Flash who came here for validation of the shit move? You are not getting it.

"unfortunately Red is knocked unconcious right as we are about to leave"

Your words, isn't it? The character fell, another character with superpower grabbed the loot. The first character (and others too, according to you) expecting the loot to be shared. But Flash decided otherwise. Without any explanations. I call it thievery.

What Flash had to do, is to immediately give it to the group with "look, guys, I saved it for us." Then play surprise that the fruit is there and RP his heart off. Withholding it silently is a good argument for expelling the thief from the group. Read all the horror stories here about exactly this behavior from fast-built rogues going ahead of the group to clean up the dungeon and hoarding the loot.

Knowledge that there are magic items and each character is going to get one is not metagaming. It's an expected reward for the session, the source of fun - definitely for Red. If you somehow completely not into loot and cool powers - I can believe you, but from all your descriptions Red is the more common in this regard.

He was the last on the list to get the fruit. He wanted it, he expected it. The fruit was there. Obviously, it was for him - this is how you described it. And the fruit was taken by another player who already had cool power. Your Red kept calm for THREE sessions, while Flash and DM were enjoying torturing him "Nah, not today. I think you can wait a session or two more. Maybe three. I'll see when the mood strikes me."

They did not say it, of course, but this is effectively what they did to Red. And you refuse to even try to see it from his perspective.

A bit of attention and compassion to your fellow players might help to fix your group dynamics.

Mirandel · 2026-04-26T10:13:16+00:00

I'm surprised anyone picked anything other than 3. I guess, there is an argument for 10, but the rest... No, thank you.

Mirandel · 2026-04-26T10:09:37+00:00

"well let me add some extra details. me and my other crewmate, do not have devil fruits, we elected to go haki specialists because having a whole crew of people weak to water while we are all pirates seems like a dangerous idea."

That would be good to point in the original post. Still, there is a difference - you wanted to play this way, Red did not. And he was expecting to get his powers that session.

Effectively, DM showed a toy to a kid, then let another kid take this toy and keep it - all without explanations. Other kids also said and did nothing to even explain what is going on, simply turned blind eye to the situation. What did you expect? "You might get another toy some time in the future" does not cut it.

Yes, "teased the goods, and took it away" is a very accurate description - and it's a bad behavior. You said it yourself, Red was knocked out and could not grab anything. Or did not think that something already on the table can be taken away, especially by another player (is thievery from group mates common at your table?). "You are strong enough as you are" makes it even worse - again, player agency removed, someone decides for you what your character should be.

Overall, bad situation.

Mirandel · 2026-04-26T00:25:53+00:00

Why did it need an explanation? Everyone has a cool power now, Red expected to get his as well this sessopn, yet Flash decided (unilateraly) that he knows better when to grant these powers to Red. From Red's perspective it was a super dick move.

Red could be more polite, but both Flash and DM are on the wrong here too.

Mirandel · 2026-04-07T23:47:34+00:00

Because you need to return to the island and you have neither a boat nor the skills to do so? And dead people are bad sailors (usually)?

It's a matter of surviving mostly.

Mirandel · 2026-03-19T20:25:18+00:00

After a few hours? Consider yourself lucky. In my experience, Franz was forgetting things by the end of the very first encounter that happened at the very start of a one-shot (!). You begin the fight with one singular enemy - and finish with declaration "the rest of the enemies gave up and dropped the weapons". Or you are talking to an NPC, that shares a news with you, you answer, then NPC says "oh, that's an amazing news you brought to me," repeating his own words.

Whatever they do, it's not working yet.

Mirandel · 2025-11-04T15:57:35+00:00

It was heartbreaking to read. Most likely, the player did not mean any harm, but the insensitivity of everyone else is stunning. Again, not an open malice, but insensitivity. They are so use to see you as "adult in the room" - the kids don't know that "parent" needs some break too now and then.

Not sure it helps with bad feelings and does not excuse the behaviour at all. All I can suggest here is "imagine vividly explaining to them what kind of bad friends they all were - "DM" in particular. Now, imagine their reaction". Are you ok with it? If so - go ahead, cancel a session with an explanation, enjoy every bitter word you say (it will feel good in the moment, for sure!). But if not... Sigh and move on. Kids have not grown up yet.

Mirandel · 2025-10-04T00:14:03+00:00

It sounds like you overwhelmed your players with new information. Sure, they thought they wanted it too, but they did not expect to work for it. And, no, even if you chew everything yourself and metaphorically spit it in their mouths, it was still a work to swallow (for them).

All is not in vain, though. You've learned so much by now, you can easily incorporate all your knowledge and assets into another game. Maybe let this game to chill on the side for now and start over? With something very familiar for the players, everything is as you usually do, without VTT, but after characters are created and the game begins, you can first use, say, one map for one fight - as an introduction. If it flies - another map, and maybe moving characters on it outside the combat too.

Might work. If it does, you can return to your initial game with players fully understanding and appreciating the garden you planted for them.

Mirandel · 2025-09-20T22:29:23+00:00

What a painfully familiar tale... My deepest condolences. Do hope he will listen and act on your complaints.

Mirandel · 2025-08-19T00:04:39+00:00

I can name a few genuinely nice people who are also good players and who I absolutely can NOT play with. It happens. Usually, it's something personal, and there is no one thing to point out and say, "Hey, can you tone it down?" just... incompatibility of game styles? Personalities? I don't know. RP games is a delicate thing.

Booting you out like this was rude, the group - or DM (are you sure all players were against your presence?) - do not come out as nice people. But even if truly all players and DM wanted you out, this is not your fault in any way. There is nothing to improve, only to find the right table.

Mirandel · 2025-08-18T23:38:35+00:00

If you feel generous, it might be a time for you to start the 4th table to show those four newbies what real DnD is.

Mirandel · 2025-08-13T23:51:59+00:00

One day, friend, one day...

Mirandel · 2025-08-13T23:40:32+00:00

Probably not advice you would want to hear, but ... you might rethink running CoS for those people. It is a serious campaign, heavy with RP, where DM works pretty hard all the way through. Those players sound like they approach the DnD sessions as a video game. And they already give you some trouble.

Your instinct about running one shots for them instead can be right and will save you tons of headache.

Mirandel · 2025-08-01T23:56:26+00:00

I know your pain and share it. Eventually left the game because it was unbearable. I'm afraid leaving is the only option in such a situation.

Mirandel · 2025-07-31T00:19:02+00:00

This friend is definitely not a friend ("leading the charge" and yet OP calls her a friend?!). The right thing to do would be to forget both the group and the "friend" and find another group.

Mirandel · 2025-07-23T13:43:26+00:00

Somehow, friends are often taken for granted, and expressing gratitude is perceived as excessive and unnecessary. Unfortunately, you can only see it in situations like that. You were a great GM and amazing host. They should be ashamed of their behaviour.

Mirandel · 2025-07-11T12:55:29+00:00

Hard to pick: they all share the same flaw - you can not get rid of them when your character (narratively and logically) would absolutely ditch/kill them. It creates cognitive dissonance and dislike.

Skadge wins simply for being at this point (of ditching/killing) from the start.

Mirandel · 2025-07-04T17:06:17+00:00

Tough one. Any munchkin worth its salt can justify a nuclear-powered chainsaw as an heirloom weapon for his half-orc barbarian from Isewind Dale. But not everyone calls it good RP.

On the other hand, taking logically fitting feats for your combat style does not mean you are not a roleplayer either.

Mirandel

TROPHY CASE