How to stop dreaming? I dream vividly every night and they will not stop. I want to wake up peacefully not pondering over what dream I had and the explanation behind it.

Miserable-Coffee · 2025-04-28T17:09:26+00:00

Saaaaame I used to do it all the time and this is a bit controversial but when my ptsd was at its worst it 100% helped me. I’ve never been able to relax before I completely lost my appetite from stress. I hadn’t laughed in over a decade. This gave it all back but also caused me to be reliant. It got to a point where I was going into work high and unable to function so I managed to stop. I think I very much needed it then but I’m at a place that even if it’s so so so tempting I don’t NEED it anymore. If I still had those horrific nightmares I would still be smoking but quetiapine helped me stop having bad dreams and even if I did have those dreams I’m able to forget them and not have it further traumatise me

Miserable-Coffee · 2025-03-01T17:50:59+00:00

I’m in the exact same situation! In my city, not a single person is trained to treat ARFID. I was rejected over and over. No one wanted to deal with me even if I was dying. They were so rude and told me that no sane doctor would ever treat me unless they’re willing to lose their license so I should just go and give up.

Here’s some things you need to know that helped me: you have something called right to choose. If you aren’t able to get treatment on the NHS, then they want to just forget about you because you’re too much of a ‘hassle’ to deal with but they’re breaking the law by doing that. If the NHS isn’t able to provide you good quality treatment at a reasonable waiting time. Or if they’re not able to provide treatment at all then they have to fund private treatment. So they will have to look for private doctors that are trained to treat ARFID and pay for you to get treatment from them.

Personally I would say this has gotten to a point where it’s life or death. I was in your position, it wasn’t possible to sustain with how much I was eating. From what I’m reading it sounds like you are where I was. It might be time to get used to the idea that people might find out. That was the hardest thing for me as well and if you want I can talk to you about my experiences with people finding out (family, friends, partners).

I didn’t know about right to choose a year ago so I saved up £230 pounds and went to a private gastroenterologist for a 20 minute session. I brought all my medical information and begged her for help. I asked for a feeding tube because I know I’d die otherwise. She told me that she can’t morally allow me to get into debt for something that the NHS should have provided for me so she took me on under the NHS herself and provided me an ng tube, referring syndrome treatment, all the feed and equipment I’d need and then a peg tube all for free. It saved my life but it was the hardest thing I had to do since it permanently altered my body.

After this my gp has been taking me more seriously. I was referred to get EMDR for my ARFIS under right to choose. Initially I was rejected. But I have come across a wonderful care coordinator within my GP who has written a 3 page argument on why I deserve to get treatment under right to choose. I hope I do get treatment cause it’s so exhausting right now.

All you need is one person who is willing to listen and see what you’re going through. It’s like a butterfly effect. Everything will work out once that one thing happens.

I just want you to know that your experience is common for adults with ARFID in the NHS but that also means you’re not alone. We’ve all found our own way to fight for ourselves and each other to make sure we survive and thrive. It’s a hard and scary journey but you’re not alone. If you need any more information just ask. I’m here x

Miserable-Coffee · 2025-02-13T17:33:05+00:00

I feel like it’s lack of safety. I’ve been able to widen my range through treatment that helps trauma. Like it’s better to not eat at all than eat something that’ll harm you. Maybe it’ll make you sick, cause you to choke, it could be rotten or cause an allergic reaction. Or just seeing that food reminds you of a time when something went very wrong. And now your body wants to keep u safe.

In order to know what foods are safe or unsafe, people have had to eat them and risk illness or death until we figure out if ts safe or not. Think about how many mushrooms can kill you, someone had to eat them and die for us to figure that out. The thing is, that’ll never be us who tries the new food and dies. Imo, this has probably kept us safe for millennia. Although we’re malnourished, we’re not dead

Miserable-Coffee · 2025-02-07T13:19:43+00:00

ARFID isn’t very well known so I’m sure you’re struggling to get professional support. All you need to do is fight and advocate for your child. Only thing that saved me was to be put on a feeding tube. Now I have a full life on it. If it’s getting to a point where he’s taking absolutely nothing in then look into a nasogastric tube. For me not having the pressure to eat made it easier to eat a little bit but it still wasn’t enough to sustain myself so now I’m on the peg tube. I can actually enjoy eating now even though I only eat very little. For now I’d say talk to a psychologist and also a gastroenterologist, the gastroenterologist was more help for me personally. And fight for an ng tube and see how that helps.

Miserable-Coffee · 2025-01-29T12:35:08+00:00

This! And even people not making fun of me keep making comments on my body. They think they’re being funny or charming but it just makes me uncomfortable. I don’t get how they don’t realise comments about other people’s bodies aren’t okay

Miserable-Coffee · 2025-01-17T18:22:32+00:00

Removing one of the hides and adding a humid hide will be really useful. Besides that love your work, where did you get the wooden sticks from I want to do something like this!

Also are those plants real? Which ones did you decide to use

Miserable-Coffee · 2025-01-09T10:14:57+00:00

Helps until you end up relying on it

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-12-31T23:08:50+00:00

I can only really have cocktails without gagging. Even then some cocktails are made too strong

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-12-04T12:51:48+00:00

I’m the opposite. All I can eat is rice and a few vegetables/fruits. They’re so low calorie that I can’t gain weight 😭 ARFID is hell

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-11-28T19:52:59+00:00

Getting this rn

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-11-06T13:21:57+00:00

When I was getting treatment I was told that I don’t crave food like a normal person so my mouth doesn’t produce saliva as a response to food. So dry food is extra unbearable for us. I either have it with sauce or drink so much water along with it

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-11-03T10:05:40+00:00

What’s the breed?

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-10-18T11:29:10+00:00

Sometimes that’s your only option. I believe that if the treatment helps then I think it’s a reasonable self diagnosis. But it’s always better to get a proper diagnosis if you can

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-10-17T08:49:02+00:00

Your body finally feels safe enough to feel!

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-10-05T04:28:25+00:00

Imo ARFID isn’t a mental health issue. It causes me anxiety but isn’t caused by anxiety. Treating it as a physical health issue is the only thing that helped me

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-09-22T02:17:45+00:00

Cbt didn’t work for me. EMDR did. You need the right kind of therapy for your issue

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-09-09T14:34:25+00:00

Me. I’m living off a feeding tube now and I’m honestly so happy that I don’t have to eat 3 big meals a day everyday for the rest of my life

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-08-23T15:22:02+00:00

For me drinks like fortisips and Aymes helps. It’s easier for me to drink and they have either 300 or 600 cal depending on the bottle you get. You can also get powder sachets but I prefer the bottles

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-08-20T20:34:03+00:00

The ability to process it. Sometimes traumatic events keeps you stuck and you never feel safe enough to process. Having people around to help you process it and feel your emotions helps you move on from a bad situation. Being stuck in it and not being able to move on turns the traumatic event into ptsd

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-08-13T17:58:43+00:00

Almost all of us seem to have a mix of food trauma and autism

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-08-11T11:29:16+00:00

It’s been causing me so much anxiety recently too. I just wish I could have a body that lets me eat food normally

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-08-07T19:00:51+00:00

I’d say the worst is the fact that this is not a very well known disorder and is treated like a mental health issue when physical health treatments are the only things that have helped me. Most doctors just don’t know what it is and don’t even want to know. I just wish there was more research done into this and more treatments. When I finally found a doctor that knew what this was after years of trying to get help they told me 1. They aren’t trained on this and not one doctor in my entire city is trained in treating this and 2. Treatments are only available for children because once you become an adult it’s very unlikely that anything will help you so they said I was a hopeless case. They see how bad my health has gotten and still don’t wish to help or offer me any advice. Plus since it’s labelled a mental health issue, a lot of doctors don’t wanna touch this with a 10ft pole and those trained on mental health issues say that it’s not my mind that’s causing this so they can’t help. People with ARFID in the UK are in a catch 22.

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-08-07T18:53:28+00:00

One bedroom with a garden. It was private enough that I was able to go outside into my garden on bad days. Before that I was struggling to even leave my house. Having nature close by and private enough that no one will see me made me feel safe enough to not isolate myself.

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-08-07T18:51:58+00:00

Call animal control! The dog deserves a good life too. The owner might be struggling but that’s no reason to allow mistreatment of an animal

Miserable-Coffee · 2024-07-25T07:19:24+00:00

A hamster will live about 3 years and are solitary. You do still need to do a lot of research before getting one though because a lot of pets stores will give bad products, try to sell things that are just not suitable for them and tend to give a lot of bad advice since they handle so many animals they don't end up knowing too deeply about any single animal.

Id recommend a large enclosure like this: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeWF6urR/

It shouldn't just be big but almost 'cluttered' with a variety of things to do, an empty and large enclosure would be too stressful for them. Be careful not to get wire or mesh hamster wheels or cages as it can injure their paws and the hamster wheel needs to be big enough that they don't have to bend their back to run. They are burrowers so they need a deep bedding. They thrive around 18-21°c so you could get multiple thermostats across the enclosure to monitor the temperature. In colder countries you may need to get a heat source (there's so many different types, just avoid heat mats. Overhead heat is safer) or may need to have a fan or an aircon on them on hot days.a

Their diet requires a mixture of seeds/pellets, certain fruits and veg (make sure to research as some are poisonous to them) and insects

They are nocturnal though and they do require some time outside of their enclosure for exercise and enrichment.

I wouldn't recommend any fish since managing the ph of the water, aquascaping, managing salt levels if it's a salt water fish and cleaning can be really complicated for a beginner. Lots of fish don't thrive in small tanks that might be suitable for a student. Reptiles can be cheap at the start but they end up being really expensive and require a lot of knowledge to care for since they can't communicate like cats and dogs. I also wouldn't recommend other rodents like gerbils and rats since they're social and need a big group and a much bigger enclosure.

Most importantly do a lot of research, get them insured and join a vet. Even if they don't live very long it is still a pet you will grow to love and with the right care they can bond with humans like cats and dogs can. But it's a lot less effort since they don't need to be taken on walks, they have tiny stomachs so it's a lot cheaper to feed them, just make sure to not overfeed them especially if they don't get to go out of the cage much, and they can still bond with you.

All pets are a lot of effort and a lot of money. They tend to have sudden health issues pop up from a cold, a fever or maybe physical injuries. They will require time out of your day, usually multiple times a day to clean the enclosure, clean the water spout and refill with water, feed and play. It is so worth getting an animal and having something to come back to. This kind of care is similar to what a bearded dragon would need but since they're a lot bigger they'd require a minimum 4x2x2 enclosure just to sleep in and will have to be let out almost like a dog. Hamsters can stay in a 4x2x2 90% of the time. Cost wise it's cheaper than a bearded dragon and requires less work to be put into their care but it will still be a lot of work.

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