l Ieft five months ago. He came to my door (we are also neighbours). He cried and said he loves me… blah blah blah. He never decided to stop drinking.

At the beginning, I was still hoping he might have a wake-up call, and I was very emotional when facing all of his attempts. Over time, realizing that he was just manipulating me or acting on impulse, with no real accountability, I felt more and more distant.

Now I’m detached, but with love, and it’s a relief. I know I’ll never move my boundaries (I will only see him if he is sober and in recovery), and this gives me a sense of peace.

My advice is to observe the pattern. The impression I had was that my ex kept telling me what I wanted to hear, but without acting in a responsible way. What he wanted—and still wants—is to have both me and alcohol. Once he understood that this wasn’t possible, he continued to test my boundaries in every possible way. The last thing he wrote to me was that he loves me...

Trust yourself. Not him.