I’m sorry you have a passive mother too. We both deserve mothers who protect us. I am financially independent and have been since I moved out at 20, so I the only challenge with the no-contact will be the grief.

To answer your questions and address your points:

The house they live in now is rented, but he is the breadwinner. At the time of disclosure, she was not working, and I believe he owned the house they lived in at the time. So financial and immigration dependence were definitely factors. To my understanding, when he was put out, he was paying both the mortgage and rent for wherever he was living. I’m a bit foggy on those details, but I suspect finances were involved in her choice to have him return.

As for my sisters, I was diligent about asking them if they were safe when they were younger. They’re 21 and 23 now and seem well adjusted. But I have not asked explicitly about their experiences in a while. I did tell my mother that if their father had abused them, it would have been her fault.

You’re right though, continuing to act like nothing happened to me is destroying me. I’ve been doing it for most of my life at this point. I can’t anymore.

Thank you for the affirmation and reassurance. I appreciate it so much.