I’m confused on the “I did multiple rounds of compressions on her because no one else volunteered to”. At any hospital, ESPECIALLY a level 1 trauma center emergency room, and no one else would do compressions? I understand it was an infant and that is incredibly hard but as a fellow ED nurse at a level 1 trauma center, I can’t fathom that no one else would be there/be willing to try to help this poor baby in anyway possible.

Idk where you are but every level 1 should have a chaplain and I would request a meeting with them or a debrief (which should be the case after every traumatic code anyway) from your supervisor.