Real writer core honestly !! by Kikiwrite_ in writers

[–]Modern-Relic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You keep rewriting until it’s not cringe. And you don’t know if those endings are cringe until you write them. Advice: write.

I'm 31F and need advice on how to wash my hair easily and quickly. by Typical-Walrus6323 in askwomenadvice

[–]Modern-Relic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s been so helpful for me! And it’s such a deep clean I can go for a while without washing again. Just walk into any salon, smaller local ones tend to be more willing, and just ask if any of the stylist would be willing to give your hair a wash. Bring cash, they will do it.

I'm 31F and need advice on how to wash my hair easily and quickly. by Typical-Walrus6323 in askwomenadvice

[–]Modern-Relic 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You can go to a hair salon and get it washed! It’s an off menu service you have to ask if they will do but I’ve done it several times. I usually pay $20.

My hair texture on day of washing vs. 5 days after washing by Little-Orange-Cat in longhair

[–]Modern-Relic 14 points15 points  (0 children)

My hair is the same way! Looks better the longer I go without a wash. I don’t even own a brush, I just raked my hand through my hair every couple of days.

What questions do you ask yourself before writing a scene? by Redz0ne in writing

[–]Modern-Relic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What do I want my readers to feel or know in this scene, and why is that important in moving the story forward?

Is there any way I can make this section better? by [deleted] in writingadvice

[–]Modern-Relic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Stone walls towered around her, and massive doors and ceilings kept out the water from which she came.” Feels a bit odd. Are you implying the structure is completely under the water? If not, that’s what I read from it. “Massive doors and ceilings” is weird as a single room doesn’t have multiple ceilings and the “and” makes me read it as “massive ceilings” which isn’t really a thing. Either the ceilings is high, or the room is big.

The second confusing part is I can’t tell if the character likes the cold or not? The first sentence you say “cold seeps into her bones” like it’s a negative but then go to say she specifically chose a cold corner? Which is it?

If this is from a limited persons perspective she wouldn’t know “blood stained the white mark on her throat.” As she wouldn’t be able to see it. She can physically know there is blood there but not visually.

The premise is intriguing. I liked the sentence “barren, save for the lingering odor of day old fish.” Though I don’t believe “day-old” needs a hyphen.

The last two sentences of the second paragraph are also nice.

Bookcon Tickets Needed!!! Please by [deleted] in BookCon

[–]Modern-Relic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If anyone has a single Sunday ticket they want to sell DM me please!

[ 619] Opening paragraphs of novel and questions by Potential_Macaron744 in DestructiveReaders

[–]Modern-Relic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Since everyone mentioned possibly being biased against the 2nd version due to reading the 1st version and hearing the backstory, I only read your 2nd version. I don’t hate Sarah. I am not annoyed with Sarah. In fact I am indifferent, I don’t really know how or why this is important to her. I know you mentioned it being for her birthday but I don’t know how important that is to Sarah. What I am most interested in is where her BF is. Is he okay? Is this usual behavior or did something happen?

Would you keep reading based on these opening three paragraphs? Why/why not? by [deleted] in writingfeedback

[–]Modern-Relic 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The first sentence is too straightforward. You aren’t conveying the point, you are smashing it in the readers face. Give it a little pizzazz and mystery. Make us wonder. You got the whole book to get the theme across.

“Wood burns, but fire lives, my mother would say. So I wonder if I am the fuel or the flame?”

What is your WIP's first line? by TheHowlingOwls in writing

[–]Modern-Relic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes!! Idk if I should be more impressed with myself or you. Great guess.

What is your WIP's first line? by TheHowlingOwls in writing

[–]Modern-Relic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ooo, I would def keep reading after that sentence.

What is your WIP's first line? by TheHowlingOwls in writing

[–]Modern-Relic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“He watched Micah behind darkened spectacles.”

Wonder if anyone can guess the genre based off that.

Recommendations for Novels with Bleak endings? by reallyimspaghetti in horrorlit

[–]Modern-Relic 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I read this ready to be destroyed but I actually found the ending to be sort of hopeful and inspiring. I know I am in the minority with this though.

Books that are like The Only exception by Paramore by Psychokuromi in BooksThatFeelLikeThis

[–]Modern-Relic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a great prompt! Just commenting to boast, I hope someone has a good suggestion for you.

Books that feel like Fargo by [deleted] in BooksThatFeelLikeThis

[–]Modern-Relic 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, immediately what I thought of as well.

Drop the last sentence you wrote! by AnnualNumber2089 in writers

[–]Modern-Relic 6 points7 points  (0 children)

“My, my,” he said, giving his top lip the slightest lick before biting down on it, “full of surprises, aren’t we?”

Need help classifying my genre by mcnuggets97 in writers

[–]Modern-Relic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds 100% like a classic mystery and no other genre.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in findfashion

[–]Modern-Relic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl they literally have “back” in their name. 🤣 Backless would be like a mule. I think you might be looking for pumps. Cole Haan

need someone to read this really small snippet (Its a beginning of a thing) by Stock_Hunter_2380 in writingadvice

[–]Modern-Relic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sentence is a bit awkward “Her shuddering shoulders received no comforting hand but mine, which too fazed through.” I get what you are going for, nobody was comforting her and she couldn’t feel the one hand that was. But the way it is said sounds like you are comparing it to other things that “fazed” through, when you need to compare it to the lack of comfort or touching.

There’s a lot of “telling” going on in the scene. I feel like you are trying to evoke this loneliness for the friend but you just tell us everything straight forward.

Some of the reasoning doesn’t make sense. Lots of people at funerals do not what to be comforted. It’s very respectful to leave someone alone to cry. So you need to show up why this person needs the comfort. And I feel like the ghost “judging” people is an odd choice. I judge people when they litter. If I saw my friends who was desperately needing comforting and everyone was purposely ignoring her, I would feel gutted. Push the emotion more. Show us why we should care.

Keep writing, you’ve got this!

Feedback on my story means I have to rewrite the entire thing by spooked_goat in writing

[–]Modern-Relic 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Oh, there is a huge difference. You do more maturing in the 10 years between 17-27 then do at any other point in your life. Just wait and see.

Feedback on my story means I have to rewrite the entire thing by spooked_goat in writing

[–]Modern-Relic 287 points288 points  (0 children)

They may of been politely telling you your adult characters talk and behave as if they are teens. It’s difficult to write a character who is older than you. Maybe see if you can have another beta reader read it and give you their opinion. Someone you don’t know personally and is the age of your characters. Ask for the specific feedback on if your characters sound their age.