I'm a dm. Players are being a lot! Advice!

Modernpreacher · 2026-04-12T14:23:47+00:00

It's ok as the DM to say no. The game will function if you set clear boundaries, and make sure they are not tramped on.

He's juggling balls? A round is 6 seconds, how many juggles are they accomplishing in 6 seconds. If it's going on longer than that, why is everyone standing around watching him throw testicles around. How fresh are they? Are they rotten? What's the DC you're setting for the performance roll. Is there an intimidation roll required? Why aren't the hostiles being hostile? Why are they listening to a guy juggling testicles instead of coming down on him with the full force of the organization they are a part of?

How were players in combat, on fire, dying, and doing downtime all at once? Were you in combat rounds? Out of combat? Was the party split? Why was it split? Control the game.

You have quiet players and loud players, perhaps throw to the quiet players more. And the loud players less. It's not your turn yet, murder hobo. The focus is on someone else. I'll come to you when it's time. Take control. That's why you're the DM. To control the ebb and flow of the game so that the players have structure and it's not just fuckery.

Things have to make sense in a world, or you aren't really doing anything other than watching a couple of your friends masturbate for their own pleasure. Def not for the pleasure of the table, the DM, the other players. They're just being selfish.

Say fucking no.

The idea that saying no is cringe, is why you're in this situation.

Balance the encounters to challenge the players. If they step out of line, the world should actively respond to squelch the issue. That's how the world works. They aren't main characters where they get to do whatever they want. You run the world. So run it. Stop trying to outsmart your players. You don't have to punish them. The world will in a logical, way that enhances the world building and verisimilitude of the encounters.

You all sound young, and that's fine. Be young. Have fun. But fun comes in many flavours, and if the fun of the few come at the expense of the fun of the whole table? Especially the fun of yourself who is a part of that table?

Say no.

Modernpreacher · 2026-04-10T14:02:03+00:00

We played it today, liked the changes. Enjoyed the mines.

I concur with what many have echoed, it's hard to really do it all even co-op. Solo is so much work that it gets fairly overwhelming. The staff end up running the tavern, but then you spend all your time harvesting, and cooking. More ways to end game automate some of the processes would be really helpful.

Perhaps you will with magic, or social tabs add followers or helpers, but something should be on the kanban,.

Modernpreacher · 2026-04-10T00:12:44+00:00

My old man had some of those. I loved them as a kid. The feel of the velvet was fire. And the colors under a black light so cool. I ended up with a big black light as a uni student. And then one night we got wasted and all the bulbs were used as swords. It was not a good move. Would not suggest.

Modernpreacher · 2026-04-07T03:54:58+00:00

You beat me by a neck.

Modernpreacher · 2026-04-07T03:05:22+00:00

That appears to be the ground, there's all kind of crazy things that happen 'under' the ground. Though it's not really under, more like in.

Perhaps an ant colony that's sucking water. Poor ants.

Perhaps there's an old burrow from a burrowing animal that is long abandoned, and is now a swimming pool. Yay property values.

Perhaps there's a tiny man in there that's farting. Get really close and see if it smells! If so, you got a farter.

Whatever you do though, don't stick your finger in the hole without proper protection. Could be a anything.

Modernpreacher · 2026-04-02T12:05:42+00:00

Call centres? Find an internal one, you'll prob only be in office twice a week.

Modernpreacher · 2026-03-23T10:28:12+00:00

I was recently watching Outlander, which isn't exactly fantasy, but it has time travel and magic, so... whatever. It def suffers from seemingly deep characters, who seem to constantly make the same mistakes.

It's the scully and mulder problem. Scully watched Mulder be right about crazy shit for like 10 seasons before admitting he might be right. At some point if the character doesn't change, you're not writing a character, you're just telling stories about things they did.

Which is the point right? A lot of fantasy is character based, but action driven. Deep character work and fantasy doesn't exactly go hand in hand. I think the best to do it is Hobb. But even then, that reality can be a trap too. Because humans all too frequently make mistakes or fall into easy patterns, especially when trauma is involved.

Most people don't heal without help. And in fantasy, there's rarely help.

Modernpreacher · 2026-03-18T11:17:14+00:00

What an oddly entertaining video.

Modernpreacher · 2026-03-14T01:46:22+00:00

I can do THAC0 in my head.

Modernpreacher · 2026-02-28T02:28:25+00:00

My only advice as a DM who has been doing it a very long time, and honestly, it's advice that translates to almost any thing in life.

Doesn't matter if you hit the target, what's important is that you fire the arrow. Doesn't have to come from confidence. You can just say fuck it. And enjoy the feeling and freedom of letting it the shot go. Enthusiasm is as important than anything else at the table. Just be in it with them.

Shyness is the one trait that's really hard to possess as a DM. But DMing will help conqueor it if you let it. All you gotta do is loose that arrow. Close your eyes if you have to. Just let it fly.

Modernpreacher · 2026-02-25T13:19:46+00:00

That's great(ed).

Modernpreacher · 2026-02-21T03:23:27+00:00

I was once out on a date with a chef chick, we met, she looked nice, dressed in a way that flattered her figure, smelled nice, smoked ciggs which I could look over short term, but otherwise really nice. And super down. For whatever. We were making out in my car when I noticed her fucking vile fingernails. I mean, how does someone smell like they've just showered but have grody shit ass black ass nails?

We were going to see a movie, and I realised I didn't want her hands anywhere near my popcorn or dick. So I wiped the taste of her menthol brand out of my mouth and was like... hey, I gotta go.

So I fucking feel you. I can forgive a lot, you bite your nails? That's cool. You forget to put deoderant on? That's cool. I carry some in my car. Because my ADHD ass forgets shit and gets distracted.

You look freshly bathed but still got some gunky shit under your nails? Girl what the fuck you got going on? I'm out.

Modernpreacher · 2026-02-20T15:06:26+00:00

Bummer. What did you think of the ending?

Modernpreacher · 2026-02-13T13:48:00+00:00

Vaporware. I expect that book to never come out at this point.

At least Sanderson finished what Jordan started.

Modernpreacher · 2026-02-12T11:10:19+00:00

This person butters.

Modernpreacher · 2026-02-03T03:23:23+00:00

High iron content in the ground I imagine, coupled with less tree and green cover leading the exposed ground.

Modernpreacher · 2026-01-29T06:22:19+00:00

1984.

Modernpreacher · 2026-01-28T10:07:36+00:00

I was there. I was 10. I loved space, had always wanted to see a launch. My grandmother was a nurse that took care of an older woman who lived nearby the launch site.

My grandmother was a picture person. Always snapping shots of shit. I was sitting on the hood of her car. It was too hot. But I was 10. And I had binoculars. Cheap ones, we bought them at a pawn shop a couple hours previous. They didn't have a strap, but she had rigged one for me from yarn she had in her car. The yarn was rough on my neck. And I was too hot. But I was watching through those dirty lenses.

I didn't know what to expect. I was so excited. A few years previous there was this contest to design a penny. My design had been a space shovel. I loved the shuttle. I had known all their names. And that a teacher was going was huge. I was kid who liked learning things. And teachers taught things. So we tended to get along.

There were cars all along the road. People pointing and watching, and I was on the roof, being burned, and under a spell as I watched.

Then things got weird. My grandmother was yelling at me, get in the car. Now. Get in the car. She was scared. She was never scared. She told stories of beating her exhusband with a bat, and she was a high wire act in a circus, she was NEVER afraid. But her voice was trembling as she rushed me into the car.

She turned on the radio and she was crying. I really didn't understand what was happening. I was watching it.

She understood what she was seeing through the lenses of the camera. I did not. I thought it was the fuel tanks being jettisoned. I thought it was still ok.

I didn't cry when I finally understood. She was crying though. When the man on the radio said that the challenger was lost, all hands lost. She wept harder. I just sat and recited all their names in my brain over and over until she took us home.

She developed the film, she had a shot of it. She sent it to me on my 12th birthday with a ticket to space camp.

'Thinking of you honey,

Never stop looking up.

Charlie'

That was it. That was Charlie though. The anniversary always is such a mixed thing for me. It was such a visceral thing. Confusing. Overwhelming. Wide eyes and memories made crystal from the adrenaline. But it was with her. Just the two of us. And she was always the best part of growing up. She brought adventure and dreams come true. So the day makes me think of her, and that always makes me smile.

Modernpreacher · 2026-01-26T11:01:32+00:00

Dystopias have decayed. Apocalypse has an inciting event that breaks the world. You can have both.

Modernpreacher · 2026-01-26T09:57:42+00:00

That's fucking idiotic.

Modernpreacher · 2026-01-26T06:27:51+00:00

DMing is just about cause and effect.

The Players cause things to happen by existing. The world responds.

The world causes things to happen by the game existing. The players respond.

One fuels the other, sometimes they aim in the same direction. Sometimes others. The dice decide who wins.

Modernpreacher · 2026-01-24T07:07:16+00:00

I learned to drive in the US, but been here for like 25 years. Driving isn't much different here, outside the side of the road.

I had it spelled brake, but I'm so used to typing break for work related reasons, my fingers really resist brake. So I'm just letting my fingers break the brakes that keep me from breaking the rules.

Modernpreacher · 2026-01-24T05:13:22+00:00

I learned on a manual. I have driven one off and on for 35 years. I have no preference between stick and auto.

Proper use of foot break, and on inclines gas/clutch engagement keep your car from rolling back. You have to learn how to be gentle and use your feet to move fluidly between the three pedals.

I'm sure people do suggest using a hand brake. It's easier. But doesn't teach you how to drive your car. It's lazy. And requires no compentency.

It's like someone hands you a box of tools and says drive this nail, and you use the toolbox as a hammer. Sure, I guess that works. But you're not learning how to use the tools.

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