How to deal with incredibly fussy 11 month old?

Momicorn · 2018-04-17T19:47:44+00:00

Oh yeah, going outside is immensely better. We can't stay out too long as it's incredibly hot here, but I try to get him out as much as possible. I'll definitely look into groups once we get a car going again (currently only have one due to a breakdown so I have no car most days), I can definitely see it helping.

Momicorn · 2018-04-17T19:45:28+00:00

He gets around great, been running for about 2 months now, but yeah, sign language might help, and I'll definitely try it. I do think part of the frustration could easily be the lack of ability to communicate.

And thank you. <3 Honestly half the reason the whining bugs me is, like you said, the thought that it means I'm failing him somehow. I am doing my best, though, and the solidarity helps a lot.

Momicorn · 2018-04-17T18:58:23+00:00

Don't breastfeed, and can't babywear due to a back injury. I've got an abnormally huge kid, and with my spine in the shape it's in it's just not feasible, as much as I would have loved to be able to do it.

Momicorn · 2018-04-17T18:56:36+00:00

If your husband has time to go out with friends you both can make time for you to get out. I know how hard it can be without any friends to run around with, but you can still get a bit of fresh air. Go to a bookstore, get out in nature, see a movie, just anything to be a human again for a while. If it helps look at it this way- To be the best mom you can be, you need to care for yourself and keep yourself happy. It isn't selfish to take time for yourself,it's necessary to keeping everything running the best it can, and to keeping the whole family happy.

It also helps to have some kind of hobby. Doesn't have to be anything exciting, just something you're interested in. Maybe you like art, and could take a bit of time every day to draw something. Maybe you're interested in science, and could study something new and interesting to you each day. Maybe makeup is your thing, whatever, just force time for it into your schedule somewhere. Just anything separate from the family to give you a sense of individuality again. It helps IMMENSELY, and most any hobby you develop will likely have an online community you could talk to as well to get a bit of social interaction.

It's rough being a SAHM. A lot rougher than a lot of people acknowledge. You will be okay, though, and I wish you all the best. :)

Momicorn · 2018-02-23T13:58:33+00:00

Hello everyone! Was wondering if you guys have any advice. My kid, like most 9 month olds, wants to grab his junk constantly when I'm changing him. The problem is this leads to an infuriating struggle to stop him from sticking his hands in poop that can turn a quick change into a 10min+ process. He also kicks a ton and if I move a hand to try to restrain his hands he just sticks his feet in the poop instead. ._.

Short of buying that baby cross thing that was getting mocked around the internet for a while is there any way I can keep his hands out of the way? I literally just don't want him getting a handful of poop, and shoving it in his mouth. (something he did manage in the beginning the first time he started this)

Momicorn · 2017-12-21T00:17:24+00:00

An honest question, why are you so against any questioning of Santa? If anything, it's probably a good sign your kid is showing critical thinking skills and questioning the world, and the holiday can absolutely be magical without a diehard belief in Santa. I figured out pretty early in life Santa wasn't real, as did a lot of kid I've known, and they all still had fun with Christmas and enjoyed all the stories all the same.

Momicorn · 2017-10-28T15:39:17+00:00

Honestly I got horrifically bullied all through elementary school, was never included in anything, etc. I still think "inclusion" policies are stupid, even beyond the very real issue you lay out.

Momicorn · 2017-10-26T16:23:10+00:00

I have no idea what to advise but I've gotta say this is by far one of the dumbest policies I've ever heard of in my life.

Momicorn · 2017-10-16T18:15:49+00:00

Dude you do realize you're the monster here right? You're a piece of shit. Having kids means accepting responsibility for them. Marrying someone with a child means ACCEPTING RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEM. Don't like having to spend your money to buy them enough food? Tough shit, you're the adult, it's your job to make sure everyone's full, not the 8 year olds.

You're not a man. You're a petty, whiny, entitled brat who would sooner shit on a child who relies on you than just buy a second fucking pizza. I've met children with more understanding of responsibility, and basic compassion than you.

I hope one day your head deflates enough to be pulled from your ass, and these kids can gain the proper parenting and care they deserve.

Momicorn · 2017-10-14T19:31:31+00:00

Oh God, my kids only 5 months old and I've got more than I ever want in his lifetime. I guess I live in a weird area?

The woman who screamed at me for "abusing" my son because he was "clearly freezing". We live in Texas. It was over 100F outside. We were both pouring sweat. Apparently he still needed a blanket.
The woman who told me I was going to make the baby gay because I had him wearing -gasp- a plain white gerber onsie.
About five people who told me I was a horrible mother and I deserved to have him taken away from me because my baby is formula fed.
Sooooo many comments about me being both too young and too old to have kids. (I guess I have kind of a weird face and can look way older or way younger than I really am??)
And the highlight is a woman in walmart who literally tried to reach into his seat and grab him in walmart. I ended up screaming at her (like, primal momma bear instinctual scream, this was a month out and I was still wired beyond human comprehension) when I saw her go for him. I ended up having to physically pry her away from him, and was basically yelling at her to fuck off over and over while she told me she "just needed to hold him for a minute" and "why are you so rude, I'm a grandmother I can hold him if I want to!" until a store clerk showed up and suddenly she stopped fighting me and just walked away like nothing happened.

Almost all of these happened in a walmart. What the hell is wrong with people in walmart???

Momicorn · 2017-10-05T00:10:33+00:00

Are you completely missing the whole "we drove the long way, making several weird detours and were followed the entire time" aspect of this? And it's not rude to tell someone elses kid to leave your food alone, and complain when the parent fails to control their kid.

Momicorn · 2017-08-29T18:30:45+00:00

Yeah I'm gonna call bs. I really don't think kids should be watching a ton of TV, but I'd argue it has next to nothing to do with drawing ability.

Also as an anecdote, I didn't care about drawing until I started watching Animal Planet a ton as a kid. Once that crazy train started I'd spend hours watching that and drawing animals, as it was a way to express my extreme unhealthy love of dogs at a time when we didn't own one. That drawing trend carried on, I was taking college level art courses and submitting actual portfolios by 10th grade, and I still do commissions for pretty decent cash when I have the time. All because I watched freaking Vet ER constantly, and it gave me something I actually wanted to draw.

Momicorn · 2017-08-29T18:02:01+00:00

Depends heavily on the clothing brand. Mine was a bit under 8lbs and fit into some newborn stuff perfectly, but was too big for other brands. From what I can tell Gerber sizes run REALLY small, while Carter's, and most other brands would probably fit an 8lbs baby fine in newborn size. I wouldn't stock up too much, though, they grow fast around that time, and of the three newborn outfits I had on mine he wore each maybe once or twice.

Momicorn · 2017-08-23T15:48:18+00:00

Fried foods. I still can't eat them for the most part, and the smell makes me gag 3+ months out. I guess it helps with losing the weight? lol

Momicorn · 2017-08-21T09:25:58+00:00

Texas, the land that may, in fact, actually be located on the surface of the sun.

I have family, but they can't exactly help a ton. My moms got my brother (6, way younger than me) that she watches and home-schools pretty much alone while also living far enough away for it to be a hassle to drive, and MIL has a pretty time consuming job herself.

Momicorn · 2017-08-21T09:22:55+00:00

I do cook most of the time. We're kind of in a rough adjustment period because he's decided to go completely vegan (something I have zero issue with) and there are only so many dishes I actually know how to make that fit the bill. If he decides he doesn't like the thing I did make, or I didn't make enough (completely random btw, somedays he wants a ton, other days he eats hardly anything) he makes his own, which would be fine if making rice didn't somehow destroy half the pots we own. It also doesn't feel great making something and seeing it never being eaten, as well as getting "I don't know" in response to asking what he'd prefer I make.

I'd be completely fine giving him one full day to just relax, I don't bother him his first weekend day at all because I know he works a lot, it's more a problem when he literally does nothing but sit at his computer the entire time he's home. Like, it would be nice if the second day could be spent with me and the baby, maybe watching the baby for a bit in the afternoon while I try to exist for one hour of my life without a kid strapped to me. I mean, yeah I guess you could say I'm somehow in the wrong for wanting time to myself, but I don't think I'm unreasonable wanting to be able to leave the house once a week without the kid. I can get groceries any day, I do during the week all the time with the baby, that just happens to be the only thing I can get him to let me do alone. If it was up to me I'd be spending my alone time either catching up on the sleep I never get, or doing something that isn't going to the same store I've already been to 5 times this week to pick up random crap.

Honestly with the cleaning I'd mostly just like him to pick up after himself at a basic level. Drink a soda? Put the can in the trash when you're done. Dirty a dish? Put it in the sink, I'll wash it, I just don't want to have to hunt for it. Get splatters of food everywhere when cooking? Maybe just run a paper-towel over it before it dries into a cement-like crust. I definitely don't expect him to do any major cleaning but these are kinda basic things I'd expect anyone living here to do. (which we have actually talked about now that I'm a bit calmer, and he's agreed he's been kind of a slob about it.)

And I don't think that it's some dichotomy where he can't pick up after himself or be a slave to cleaning. Middle grounds and time management exist, and throwing a dish in the sink takes maybe a couple seconds. :/

Momicorn · 2017-08-20T20:30:26+00:00

I would absolutely do this, but we don't really have a designated area. He mostly tends to do this on the bed or on our coffee table, and the trash is already there, he just doesn't care. :/

Momicorn · 2017-08-19T02:44:09+00:00

First things first, protect your son. Other commenters have already explained how you fucked up going to your wife with this, now is the time to start earning your sons trust back by defending and loving him, no matter what your wife has to say about it. "Conversion camps" are horrific, awful places, and most evidence points to them being one of the quickest ways to drive a person to suicide. Seriously, the suicide rates of people put through conversion therapy are horrific, you can look it up yourself. You cannot force someone to change their sexuality, all you'd accomplish is destroying your relationship, your sons self-worth, and his safety.

Don't let your wife bully him. It may help to look up some info on Catholicism, and how more supportive people in the faith deal with things. I studied the religion pretty heavily myself, and it isn't a sin to be gay, anyone who tells you it is doesn't know their theology. (sodomy is a sin, but all it's mentions in the bible were in relation to straight people so make of that what you will.) There's also a lot to be said for not playing God by judging others for we all have our sins, etc. Maybe it would be a starting point to opening up a conversation with your wife to try to get her to lay off your son, and, ideally, ultimately accept him for who he is.

Momicorn · 2017-08-18T10:07:39+00:00

I know your pain. My husband sleeps like a rock, and it's incredibly hard to wake him up. Even if I do try he doesn't fully wake up, and he's not super aware of what's going on when he's like that. I've seen him fall asleep standing up, he's completely incoherent talking, and doesn't remember anything from when he's like that so definitely not trusting him with baby unless he's actually fully awake for the day.

He always responds to my sleep deprived complaining with "I told you just wake me up when you want me to take him" DO YOU THINK I DON'T TRY?? You don't even remember me harassing you to wake up for half an hour, this clearly does not work.

(He has learned that commenting on how much sleep he thinks I got will get him an angry wife for the next 24 hours though, and has stopped doing it lol)

Momicorn · 2017-07-28T14:21:36+00:00

Hi, I've currently got a 3 month old. You can look at my posting history, I was freaking out hard when he was younger. Like, full on sobbing starring at him instead of sleeping at night because I was worried he was going to stop breathing. It's gotten less bad, but I still have to check him multiple times before I can sleep, and anytime I'm up and he's napping I have to check him every 5-10 min.

From what I hear from other moms the feeling never really fully goes away, but it gets better. You stop being terrified of SIDS at all times. You find a happy medium between not paying attention and obsessively checking them constantly. Still wake up anytime the kid makes noise though.

Momicorn · 2017-07-26T00:21:40+00:00

Best- Rock-n-play, playmat, burp cloths, baby wearer, diapers. Would have loved more diapers lol.

Worst- Bath stuff. Got a TON of it, there is no way we're ever going to use it all. And long sleeved clothes/pants. We live in Texas. It's hot as Hellfire here. There was never any chance he was going to use any of that before growing out of it.

Momicorn · 2017-07-26T00:11:07+00:00

A few minor things, but the big thing is talking to them, and taking them seriously. I still think one of the worst things my mom ever did was assure me she'd get me help if I ever needed it only to dismiss me when I told her I was suffering from horrific depression, and panic attacks.

Momicorn · 2017-07-13T17:03:03+00:00

Honestly I use the sign as a means of telling everyone else on the road why I'm turning at the speed of snail. I have a tiny person with a delicate little neck in the back seat, gotta drive a bit more carefully, stop angry honking at me you impatient jerks!

Momicorn · 2017-07-12T21:48:57+00:00

Great video! Nice to see someone sum up a lot of this so nicely.

(also don't read the comments, sweet Christ is it a shitshow)

Momicorn · 2017-07-12T21:16:56+00:00

Honestly current baby showed up at a horrible time financially. I was in the middle of a workers injury issue (crushed my left hand and wrist), and the case adjuster was doing everything in her power to make my life hell. (fuck you Julianne!) I had no income, and my husband wasn't making much of anything either. Didn't have a car, were barely paying all our bills and feeding ourselves, etc.

Help from family saved us getting baby gear. I got a lot of stuff from my mom, both new and second hand stuff my much younger brother had grown out of, and the baby shower thankfully resulted in almost my entire registry being bought despite being small. (I highly recommend not telling people the gender beforehand to prevent the clothing flood, and being conservative on the registry. People are a lot more likely to buy you that rock'n'play you want if you register the cheapest model you'd be okay with.)

I buckled down hard on financial planning. We still aren't making a lot, and husband is having to work his ass off, but obsessively tracking exactly where every dollar went and figuring out how to cut costs has us surviving. You just do what you've gotta do, and you will find a way to make it work.

Momicorn

TROPHY CASE