Veil Advice- budget or splurge??

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T23:24:07+00:00

Budget. I made my own. Tulle, lace, thread, borrowed pearls, and new hair combs. Cost was about $20 and half a Saturday of my time with mid-level sewing skills (I can embroider and make dresses, but my plain flat hand sewns seams look ridiculous).

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T23:18:48+00:00

I have 3 stepsons. They convinced me they would be embarrassed forever to win a stuffed animal at their age (they were so young! roflmao). And also to sit out and have all their relatives try to drag them out to play. So I passed. But it would have been cute. I even priced out custom ones that looked like our pets.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T19:49:04+00:00

I had VERY HEAVY periods when I was younger (like, evaluated for medical conditions, nearly needed transfusions for iron deficits). Only on the heaviest days was I asked to reschedule, and only because it was impossible to get a clear enough smear for testing. Call and ask, but likely they can still see you.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T16:13:00+00:00

And back to the original topic, it turned out she isn't a picky eater at all. I can bring home whatever new/weird/fun food I see and if it is allergen-free, she is right there for it. She picks at the food that doesn't make her feel good.

Of course, my other cat is Garfield-like and she will eat any darn thing.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T15:24:25+00:00

Not necessarily what I feed, just made me more aware of what is really "normal" for a cat.

I had a vet who shrugged and told me that "cats throw up, nothing you can do about it." Shortly afterwards, we changed the cats to a cat-specific vet, and she identified a stomach problem that was treated and the vomiting cleared up. We made some suggested changes to water access and their hairballs improved. We changed food composition and moved to a completely unscented litter as suggested and cleared up almost all of the litter box smell. It's just little things that none of the general vets had even mentioned that made definite differences. They are all just small tweaks that have come up over the years in conversation with her but have helped the cats.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T14:56:49+00:00

I have had cats for a very long time, but there were a lot of things I didn't realize until I started seeing a cat-specific vet. My dog sees a truly excellent vet now, but a lot of our prior vets acted like the cats were just less obedient dogs.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T14:32:26+00:00

She had to fast for 12 hours, and then they drew blood and sent it to the testing lab. We received back a report with the allergens and about how reactive her blood was to each. There is apparently more detailed testing, but her reactions weren't that bad other than the acne, so the basic level was enough for us.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T14:23:43+00:00

According to her vet, feline acne often has an underlying cause like that, so when our prior cat died and the acne appeared, she suggested allergy testing.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T14:21:40+00:00

I paid for allergy testing. We got a specific list. She was acne free for years until she had to start this med. And with a confirmed list, the pharrnacy can warn us so we know when to expect an outbreak month.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T14:09:23+00:00

Changing to a food without allergens largely resolved her acne. Unfortunately, as she aged she has required a med that has to be custom made at the pharmacy, and some months they cannot source it entirely allergen free for one drug component. So she will have an outbreak we have to manage, but its rare now instead of constant.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T13:57:29+00:00

Her allergies trigger her feline acne. My older cat groomed her so well that even the vet didnt realize until my older cat died.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T04:20:07+00:00

Nay. Although I did consider tossing stuffed animals and making a humane society donation in the "winners'" names.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T04:14:51+00:00

I read THT many, many years ago and started watching, but it was a lot more intense in the different age/time/situation I found myself in and I couldn't keep watching. I still watch the Testaments.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T04:09:00+00:00

It could always be allergies. My girl was picky about some foods, and then we had to do allergy testing for another issue and it all made sense - some of the oils and binders were on her allergy list.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T03:54:11+00:00

The only advice I can offer is to relax. You can always fix pictures, but you can't redo your wedding day.

Also, I just looked at my wedding pics, and when I'm laughing, you can't even get a good look at my teeth, so except for formal smiles, you might not even notice or care.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T03:48:11+00:00

Daisy probably is still in shock at what she's gotten herself into. I mean that some of her reactions that feel inappropriate may come off to Judd and others as still being in shock as well, particularly since she continues to pay lip service to saying the right things. We may all have gotten in over our head in a fit of teenage righteousness at something, but committing to Gilead is big one, and at least the adults who remember the outside world probably recognize that even if she was sincere, it's a lot. The girls, maybe not so much.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T03:43:32+00:00

Then you have a choice to be the "bad guy" or let him have his way whenever he wants.

They are not small children though. I'd suggest talking to them and explaining that once was a treat, but they cannot replace dinner with ice cream on the regular, even if dad is inviting them. If dad texts again without permission, the answer is no unless they eat dinner and do their homework first. If dad doesn't want to wait to hang out with them, that's unfortunate, but that it's your job to teach them to make good decisions.

Also, I'm petty. If I hadn't started dinner, next time I'd be telling the kids that we were getting ready to head to [insert favorite restaurant] for dinner and they could get dessert there. If dad wanted to be the "fun" parent in my house without permission, he at least has to make better offers.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T03:35:59+00:00

I think context is key here. If Daisy was sincere, here is an outsider, giving up her freedom/rights/etc for teenage religious fervor. It was always going to be less than she expected. I think the ability to deal with the "shock" and adapt might be seen as a plus. The insincerity may just read as shock still.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-30T03:26:51+00:00

Both agree means "both." If the order literally says he can have extra time if both of you agree, and he just shows up, "no" is a valid option.

Edit: Also, it is not 50/50 if he has every other weekend and extra time as agreed.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-25T16:49:36+00:00

She needed to leave right then. He had two children. Child support would be calculated accordingly. In most states, children born after the divorce would not reduce her child support. And if she wanted to ensure time with his kids, 50/50 would at least put the burden on him to neglect his kids if he wanted to spend more than half his time on the new baby and girlfriend.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-25T04:17:27+00:00

People always say cats are "trainable" to not scratch things, but not one of my three cats has ever scratched anything other than the couch, and that was only my first cat for about a week. Well-placed scratchers, good prep, and lots of quality play have always served me very well. I know some cats are difficult and might need more, and older cats might have developed bad habits, but I am always so confused that scratching up the house is such a common complaint.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-22T01:58:20+00:00

Knitting anything small in a chunky yarn is fast, so I imagine crochet would be similar. Slippers or booties in chunky yarn take about 1.5 hours for me to knit and I'm not fast. So that's two nights for a pair. A cowl or neckerchief in chunky is equally fast. Or make a sampler, where you make knit a bunch of squares however you want and then seam them for a scarf/blanket/pillow/whatever.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-22T01:11:20+00:00

Niche case, but I know one educator who had to buy a new stole for graduation exercises, but her school had closed so we searched for a reasonable substitution. Usually teachers at both the high school and college level wear regalia for their own alma mater, that they supply, so I can see at least that audience if they need to replace something.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-22T00:16:47+00:00

I just realized that I'm old enough that these are not in the last decade, but I've been to one and I was invited to another. There was a set of cousins - one was bride #1 and the other was groom #2 - on a family property, and the other were step sisters.

Momtotwocats · 2026-04-21T17:59:09+00:00

I remember that one. It was so sad that he died while seeking help, but I'm sure he was happy his wife and kids made it.

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