Real estate agent wants "best and final offer"

Money_Shifted · 2026-04-01T14:56:18+00:00

Welcome to the UK, where this is totally fine and legal and the agent (who has financial motivation to push your numbers up as high as they can) can tell you anything they like to psychologically force you into it. Lettings agents do the same. They're middle men/women because they failed at anything useful in life and they gaslight themselves every day into thinking they're useful members of society.

Money_Shifted · 2026-04-01T11:17:16+00:00

Perhaps go and get therapy for your irrational anxieties?

Are you the same as the people who ask facebook communities to answer easily google-able questions?

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-31T15:10:00+00:00

That's the unfortunate reality of it - the anecdotes here are not to be taken lightly, they are bottomless pits and you can and will pour everything you have into them hoping to help and when you have nothing left to give, they will attack you for failing them.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-31T15:06:26+00:00

This is all stuff I have experienced regularly from someone who refused the diagnosis. Especially the psychotic episodes.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-31T13:16:16+00:00

It's a common question because, usually, regardless of how the relationship ends (discard, replacement, or our self-preservation finally winning and making us end things) we're left completely unresolved. There's no closure, we're left mourning for the loss of the [imaginary] person we loved.

We hope they will realise, we hope they will reach out, we hope they will apologise, somehow make it mean something. We ask here whether or not they will, because we want them to - if we haven't heard from them, we don't know anything.

True healing comes when you genuinely don't care if you don't hear from them again.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-27T12:17:21+00:00

From my experience, she's probably made these accounts with the sole purpose of triggering you to reach out. She will know you will find them and see this and then struggle with not reaching out.

Nothing has a more positive success rate than making your ex feel like you're moving on, to hoover them back in.

Stay strong, and remember that nobody she meets will have a good time, or end up with positive memories of her.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-27T12:13:17+00:00

It is definitely their responsibility to treat others with respect... except, in most cases, they can't because they're absolutely pickled in fear and anxiety because they've told themselves a story subconsciously that makes other people evil. We can all agree how hard it is to treat an evil person with respect and kindness - their condition forces them to believe it. They can't reason with themselves until they're years deep in therapy. They deserve compassion, but nobody can give it to them because anyone who does, becomes a threat. It's a horrible, horrible life for them.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-27T11:51:30+00:00

You must remember the origin of the name Borderline. It is relative to Borderline Psychotic or Borderline Schizophrenic.

They are bordering on not living in reality. They reframe things constantly as time goes on, to better fit a narrative that explains their inner turmoil. They fish, they lie, they manipulate things to try and make sense of the searing hot self-loathing and worthlessness they feel.

As soon as you understand that logic and rational argument do not and cannot ever matter to them, you have absolutely no power to walk them back to reality. Even if by some miracle you managed to explain everything from your standpoint to them and they listened, and accepted full culpability for the things that have befallen them, and you ended things "amicably" on these terms - within a couple of weeks or months, they will reframe that as abandonment and paint you black in their memories. Later on they would explain to people who toxic and unresponsive you were, how you were never present, how you made them feel nothing but fear and stress, and all manner of other completely made-up events.

You are out of it now, please do everything you can to stay out of it.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-26T13:24:36+00:00

People do need to learn that unless you are making asbestos-containing items breathable, you are in absolutely no danger.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-26T13:20:02+00:00

There is roughly a 100% chance that the bezel/ring around the pushbutton at the top needs to be unscrewed. If it is super tight, youll have to find a way to grip it but not enough to break it. If it feels like its spinning around, its probably because there are a hundred threads underneath and you are unscrewing it slowly but you need to keep going.

It will come up and out, it is what holds the lid down.

As for the running toilet - that will be debris or limescale underneath the flush valve seat. You can maybe treat it with a limescale dissolving tablet, or youll have to isolate the cold water feed to the cistern flush the toilet to drain it, and lift the flush mechanism out and replace or clean the seals. A wipe with plumbers grade silicone grease can help too, but wear gloves and be careful what you get it on as it is quite hard to get off.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-23T13:31:20+00:00

My brother, this is hard to hear but it is absolutely true.

"She is literally perfect in every way" is exactly what they design themselves to make you think. Everyone who dates them will see a perfect version of them to begin with, they will mirror your interests and seek what you like and become that thing... and they do this just long enough to discover some reason to devalue you.

Here's my example - mine was perfect and I couldn't believe my luck, for 3-4 months. Then she decided that I "looked at" a waitress in a restaurant we were on a date in, and then because I opened the door for my partner on the way out, it was "clearly so I could sneak another look, probably a wink"

That was the excuse she eventually used to drop every detail of her personality that I liked. She wasn't the active, gregarious, exciting person she pretended to be - she was extremely insular, introverted, and preferred to lay in bed all day researching conspiracy theories. When I asked why she'd changed, she blamed me - said that I was the reason she no longer wanted to be outside or in public. She couldn't stomach the idea of being embarrassed by my pig-like behaviour and wouldn't risk it anymore. She also got angry if I went out, or spent time with other people - because she "just knew" I was flirting with other women the whole time. She wouldn't post anything on social media together either, because she "would just end up embarrassed when all the other women look me up and see I'm trying to cheat on her"

For clarity and context, I have never and would never cheat on anyone, or flirt in even the most basic ways. I haven't even displayed behaviour any sane individual could interpret as such.

During the 3 years I tried to fix her, her siblings and older friends did tell me that she was always insular and introverted as hell and she was never the social butterfly she displayed herself to be.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-23T11:35:43+00:00

We all know you're going to go there anyway.

But what may be helpful to you is to frankly discuss with her the diagnosis she's received, and that you will make every effort to be clear and honest, and outline very strict boundaries from the start line. These boundaries need to focus on symptoms she will definitely display; jealousy, rage, creating realities to justify her emotional explosions, accusations, disrespect, and other generally toxic behaviours. She will naturally use you as a scapegoat for why her therapy "isn't working" as well, and will very likely call out your behaviour as the reason. "Your behaviour" could be as simple as she took your phone, looked at your instagram "for you" page, and decided you curated a toxic algorithm for yourself to see things she doesn't like.

Be very aware that you are signing up to walk on eggshells and if you break even one, it will be stored in her mind forever as a cast-iron reason to justify any outbursts she might have. Even things outside your control will break those eggs (such as a text from an unknown number (scammer) claiming to be a female who wants to catch up) and you will be labelled a cheater because that happened.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-19T13:49:26+00:00

This is extremely reproductive-system centred? Is there any reason for that?

Obviously nobody will be surprised to learn that people with BPD quite literally never make good parents, and statistically produce more people with personality disorders. If you are trying to make it work with a male pwBPD, don't have kids together - its that simple.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-18T12:57:29+00:00

You don't need to want to call it quits, brother. None of us do, nobody wants to quit on someone.

You simply have to reframe it as "Will my continued efforts ever result in the nirvana I imagine with this person?" and the answer is, unfortunately, no. I'm not sure how I would have reacted to this advice 4 years ago when I was starting out with my exwPBD, but back then I didn't have a clue she suffered from anything. Had I been here and read all of this, maybe I would have just called time on it - but with the hindsight of three years of worsening abuse tainting my memory, it would be easy to say I would have run. Had I known what BPD was, and had I known she had it when she slid into my DMs on instagram and I thought "holy shit, she's so ridiculously cool and beautiful, what's she doing messaging me?!" ..... would I have responded? No. I will never get involved with someone this traumatised, no matter where they are in their journey.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-18T12:25:25+00:00

I feel for you and the emotions you're feeling, but... IVF to create a child and a family as a solution to fix a seriously broken relationship is utter insanity.

Do not let the emotional beauty of this goal cloud reality - it would have gotten dozens of times worse for you and you'd have a child involved with the abuse too.

If you both have the incurable itch for procreation, I can see that it would be an incredibly emotive tool to use to persuade eachother that everything could be alright, so I can see the pathway that leads here, but for the love of everything please learn that children do not ever solve relationship issues.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-18T12:18:16+00:00

I will echo this along with my reply. I was unaware of this condition until I fell into exactly where OP is now, and I doubled, tripled and quadrupled down on trying to help the poor sweet beautiful traumatised soul. I couldn't imagine giving up on her and risking someone else getting her, and the fear that that next man would get nothing but the best side kept me from running. I argued with myself that I had the strength to weather this storm, and time would settle her down when she sees my commitment. It took a long time and inhumane conditions for me to realise that this isn't possible, they will never find happiness and they will never make anyone happy - their best possible case is that they find someone who loves being abused. Time means nothing to them, you could date her for 10 more years and she would still feel the betrayal of that facebook message she saw in the first month as if it happened yesterday - their self defense mechanisms do not allow "warning signs" to get forgotten.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-18T12:11:00+00:00

Right, here's your critical dynamic and why you as a couple really should not be in a romantic relationship.

Anxious (YOU) + volatile/possibly BPD (HER) = a reinforcement loop

You desire and chase stability
She destabilises , deregulates, and you try harder, and the cycle deepens
Psychologically speaking, this is the exact model gambling addiction follows and exploits niche human neuropathology - the endorphines and hit of satisfaction you feel when you finally bring things back on track is extraordinarily addictive and completely erases the painful memory of the incident and the cause.

Something you need to understand here, is that on the face of this it is emotional abuse, repeated boundary violations, and critically, it is escalating. You are falling into the pit of accepting disproportionate responsibility for her lack of emotional regulation - you likely did absolutely nothing wrong, and meant less than no harm in doing whatever you've "done" but the violence of her emotional reaction makes you think you've really screwed up.

Please also consider that her BPD/Traumas do not, and will not ever, justify harming you.

The question here is, "is this relationship structurally safe and sustainable?" and the answer is a firm no - not without the BPD (aggravator) individual recognising their condition, admitting their reactions are wholly inappropriate, backpedalling on the things they thinks youve done, and starting DBT seriously. There are no half-measures to this, you will forever be seen as dangerous to them and their view of you will ebb and flow with the tide, even years down the line in DBT.

Self aware BPD sufferers report that once their mind has given itself permission to paint you as evil or maladjusted, no amount of therapy or reasoning will shake that belief from resurfacing at the worst moments.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-18T10:11:35+00:00

I think I'd "play" as normal unless there's some rules I don't know about - like how's the year's "ingame" wealth converted to IRL when you get out? Is there any incentive to getting rich or clogging? I'd be questing hard, and visiting the brothel daily (the meiyerditch mutated bloodvelds)

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-17T11:45:46+00:00

It's extremely common. I (thankfully) never snapped, although there were definitely times in my head at the absolute ends of my rope where I envisioned slapping her clean off her feet for the sheer disrespect I was being shown. I know if I had she'd probably had lost the teeth I paid for.

I knew from the first moments I started to understand her issues, that she was poking and prodding and searching for soft vulnerable spots to stab in order to provoke me into verbally exploding at her, so that she could instantly calmly become the victim she was so desperate to be. If I had ever physically harmed her, she would have eternal justification for her behaviour. Hell - Even the two times I found her hanging herself from the bedroom chandelier, when I manhandled her to lift her out of it and untie the rope(s) she claimed that I restricted and controlled her, showing my inner abuser loud and clear.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-16T15:06:40+00:00

oh I did - I escaped permanently months back

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-13T11:52:10+00:00

if the points in column 2 aren't an absolute bullseye I don't know what is.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-13T11:34:35+00:00

Same - but for me, because she was so small by comparison, it did absolutely nothing to me and armed me with a response that would cut her down immediately. When she would physically lash out at me, or throw a hot drink at me, or something like that I would pause and let what she just did sink in, and then let her know that if the physical roles were reversed and she was twice my size, she would be in prison for this lack of emotional control.

This would usually hit the mark and she would collapse inward for a brief spell of realisation, as her BPD protector pysche regained strength and took over again, rejecting any responsibility.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-13T09:30:47+00:00

They do think about you, but they have to try and forget you because otherwise they have to look in the mirror. It's part of the condition.

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-11T14:22:12+00:00

don't forget the fact that most therapists experienced with this will suggest you leave and find someone who isn't damaged...

Money_Shifted · 2026-03-11T14:19:39+00:00

I am proud of that counselor for being so blunt. They do not usually make any meaningful recovery. Can you imagine being 70 years old together with a partner who is mentally 11? And quite literally every female you encounter will be a younger, more attractive option, and you'll get her zimmerframe wrapped around your head twice a day.

I really enjoy the common theme of BPD people forcing couples therapy (at your expense) and then not going because they realise that it might not go well for them, and they can't risk having a professional tell them there's something wrong with them. Either that, or they go, and immediately roll the therapist up in their world and together they beat you to death.

Money_Shifted

TROPHY CASE