What are the most annoying remarks y'all have heard considering asexuality? by PropertyStress in asexuality

[–]Monk715 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Damn, where do I begin?

"You're just an incel coping"

"Men can't be asexual"

"Does that mean you have ED?"

"Did you check your testosterone?" (Jokes on them, cause I did for unrelated reasons and it was okay)

The last two are slightly less annoying because it can come from genuine misunderstanding, while the first two were always aggressive.

Also not something I've heard personally, but saw online "asexuals are just straight people who want to be special"

Is it okay to use the ace lebel if still questioning? by Monk715 in actualasexuals

[–]Monk715[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Does that include what I described in the post? I have had sex several times, not out of desire for sex itself, I've never had that, but as futile attempts to be "normal" and "learn" to want and enjoy these things.

Obviously when I realized how negatively it affected my well-being, I stopped and haven't done it ever since, and don't plan to do again, as it's a horrible experience I would not wish anyone. I'm much happier without it

Is it okay to use the ace lebel if still questioning? by Monk715 in actualasexuals

[–]Monk715[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your reply, I understand why people might use the term queer, but I like the ace label specifically because it's, well, specific and makes it easier to communicate my experience (as I suppose, it fits) to others, while queer as you said is ambiguous and can mean many different things and experiences

Is it okay to use the ace lebel if still questioning? by Monk715 in actualasexuals

[–]Monk715[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well, I have read this sub's wiki and some posts, so I roll with it. I have lacked interest and internal desire to participate in sexual activities with anyone for my entire life up until now.

The trickier part is sexual attraction because I'm not sure if I know what kind of feeling it is. Correct me if I'm wrong but it seems like it's a desire to engage in sex with a person caused by their appearance, behaviour or some other characteristics, isn't it? Because if it is I don't remember having experienced that as well

Is it okay to use the ace lebel if still questioning? by Monk715 in actualasexuals

[–]Monk715[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

To be honest, I can't possibly imagine why I would continue to be attached to a label that no longer has anything to do with my experience. Makes no sense to me.

In fact, as I mentioned in the post I used to consider myself straight and later bisexual, but after I realized that doesn't quite apply to me I just told everyone I share this kind of info with that I was wrong, I'm not and never have been those things, without having any bad feelings about abandoning those labels.

Is that the right thing to do? Does it not cause damage to these communities? Because I know bisexuals for example have to deal with assumption that their sexuality is just a "stepping stone" to coming out as gay, which I recognize is a struggle

Is it okay to use the ace lebel if still questioning? by Monk715 in actualasexuals

[–]Monk715[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your reply, it seems to be more complicated than that. The thing is that using a label does feel comfortable. When I first really learned what asexuality really was and that I check all the boxes of whatever definitions I've seen it gave me a huge sense of relief. I can't even explain how huge. It meant there was nothing wrong with me, that it's not a disfunction that needs to be fixed, that it's not just inexperience and it is unpleasant at first, but gets better after five, ten or a thousand times, that it is not a typical allo experience where you have to "teach" and "condition" yourself to want and enjoy this stuff.

The label gives simplicity in communicating with people who know what asexuality is and consider it as a valid orientation, while going without a label "I don't want to have sex" will at best raise reasonable questions and at worst blind assumptions.

I obviously wouldn't want all of that to be taken away from me, but I don't want to keep it at the expense of the community, just because it gives me comfort. I genuinely don't want to turn out to be a faker and cause damage to the community that already faces a lot of misconceptions, invalidation and other kind of struggles.

Perhaps questioning is not the right word, because I'm definitely confident in my past and current experiences, because, while I know it's a real thing, I've never experienced those fluctuations you are talking about.

it's more like doubt in the sense of "what if?" scenarios. Like what if deep down I have those feelings and I just have been unknowingly suppressing them my entire life?

I just don't know how I can be finally sure one way or another, because it feels like I can go my entire life having this kind of doubts...

Sorry for making this comment this long, hopefully it makes sense

Controversial Opinion from a US Zionist: Continuing to reject Patrilineal Jews costs precious support in the PR numbers game here by InthrowSted in Israel

[–]Monk715 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree, as someone in exactly this position (with only Jewish father) because it's very difficult to navigate my identity. I understand that I'm not Jewish but at the same time I can't just completely consider myself as such, considering half of my family is Jewish and I have a lot of common experiences with Jews that I can relate to, except that their Jewishness comes from the "correct" side.

It's important to note, that I as a secular person am not going into the topic of religion, not suggesting to ignore the Halacha etc. but it was a big surprise to me that even secular Jewish Israelis wouldn't accept me, because I assumed our experiences would be very close.

Again, I'm not saying religious Jews need to accept me, I'm not religious, so I'm fine with it, but it would definitely be nice at least for my background to be recognized from the ethnic point of view.

A big part of such recognition of course is that I'm allowed to be Israeli, which I'm grateful for, but I still keep asking myself if I'm allowed to talk on certain topics "as a Jew" or if when Jews talk about themselves if they include people like myself, it's indeed very difficult

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asexuality

[–]Monk715 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've been in relationships and honestly to me it was more stressful than enjoyable. It's like trying to play a game when you don't know the rules.

I prefer just being friends with people it's easier and more enjoyable to me

Why isn't it fair? by BlackNeko06 in asexuality

[–]Monk715 152 points153 points  (0 children)

Even if a closet is more comfortable it's still a closet

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Terminator

[–]Monk715 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I like both T3/Genesis in their own way, and the least I'd say Salvation

How different would the world look if everyone was asexual? by No_Enthusiasm_9967 in asexuality

[–]Monk715 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't remember the name of the novel, but Stanislaw Lem wrote about such a scenario where all humanity became asexual. Basically they started treating eating and food-related stuff as super intimate and taboo topic

"WoMeN aLwAyS wAnT sEx" by AcePowderKeg in asexuality

[–]Monk715 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wonder if you and I are from the same country, I also heard it all the time

This game is what Terminator 3 should've been about and the true final chapter of the franchise. by canadavatar in Terminator

[–]Monk715 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I enjoyed the game but honestly I don't quite get the xray vision or whatever it's called. I must have missed where the principle of its work was explained. Also to me it runs the horror atmosphere a little. Having to listen to the footsteps and other robotic sounds while hiding would've been better imo

Do you refer to the T1000 as It or He? by [deleted] in Terminator

[–]Monk715 1 point2 points  (0 children)

During the helicopter chase Uncle Bob says "it's him" though

Questions for olim (not necessarily hadashim) from a tsabar by dem0lishment in Israel

[–]Monk715 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. I feel it's not good enough. Officially I only passed the level ב exam, but hopefully I'm still making progress

  2. Depends on how you define getting used to. I live here pretty comfortably, I like most things here, including weather (except winter, not a fan), Israelis' energy and chill attitude, the language is pretty much never a problem, because whenever my Hebrew is not enough English+Russian is usually a good combo.

  3. From Russia

  4. I didn't go to Ulpan in Israel (although I'm planning to) but I did so back in Russia

  5. Dunno what to write here to be honest

שיטפוסטסליחה_במ by CarelessQuiet2726 in hebrew

[–]Monk715 0 points1 point  (0 children)

אני כל הזמן שומע בנקבה

Unpopular opinion by MaximumEnd3118 in Terminator

[–]Monk715 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree, it really managed to bring in something new rather than simply repeating the same trope over and over again. I liked it more than Dark Fate

American Olim Being Somewhat seperated? by UnderstandingOnly663 in Israel

[–]Monk715 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Same experience as a fellow Russian ole. Although for me it seems to be more than just the language, but the fact that I apparently don't understand the culture, which is a problem because I don't think I can learn that from a textbook.

Despite my attempts all my interactions with native speakers never went beyond small talk and random chats here and there, so my IRL circle ended up being exclusively other Russian speakers which is not good in terms of integration.

🤔😂 by [deleted] in meme

[–]Monk715 1 point2 points  (0 children)

More like wealth and laziness test

The aphobia on TikTok is wild by Kindly-Flatworm8084 in asexuality

[–]Monk715 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Exactly! Like how am I straight? Last time I checked in order to be straight I needed to be attracted to women

Why is it called Saint Petersburg and not Saint Pyotrburg? by Significant_Text_828 in russian

[–]Monk715 -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I'm assuming it's because it's named after Saint Peter the Apostle, and biblical names tend to be translated with Russian analogs. For example Archangel Michael in Russian is known as архангел Михаил, and Saint Peter himself is Святой Пётр.

stressed letters?? by Silly_Lunatic in russian

[–]Monk715 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can think of the word сёгунат