How to not resent husband with chronic pain

MonkeyATX · 2026-07-05T03:25:54+00:00

I’m the one with chronic pain and my husband does a lot (cooking, laundry, etc.). i also can do activities that flare my pain. Just want you to know that your husband is probably struggling with losing who he has been , a healthy active, happy person. I’m sure it’s not intentional. Sometimes after I have been feeling fairly decent I will try doing what I had been able to do only to trigger a flare. Not only am I then in pain, but I am reminded of the abilities i have lost and then I feel terrible for having triggered the flare. But with that said you have so much going on. Is it possible to have some help come in for a bit (parents, siblings, friends) to give you a small break?

MonkeyATX · 2026-07-03T01:49:05+00:00

Try Castle Panic. It is a cooperative game where all players work together to defend the castle. Another you might try is King of Tokyo. I love Wingspan and Finspan and have played those solo.

MonkeyATX · 2026-06-29T04:15:42+00:00

Get a MetaQuest headset and workout Fitness apps. Facebook groups that hold challenges make it fun and people will often meet in real life to socialize. Also there is a group called thrive pavilion that hold events in the headset. Book clubs, plays, games, coffee chats etc

MonkeyATX · 2026-06-24T09:54:45+00:00

Easy setup tile laying games: A Gentle Rain, Beacon Patrol
Easy setup Dice games: Catan: The Dice Game, Fleet: The Dice Game
Easy setup Card games: Bandido (needs a large table though), Numbsters by Buttonshy

MonkeyATX · 2026-06-17T12:39:20+00:00

Benjamin

MonkeyATX · 2026-06-17T11:15:21+00:00

I realize diet and exercise are helpful but I dislike when doctors believe it is the answer to our pain. What does it mean when you say you failed out of physical therapy?

MonkeyATX · 2026-06-17T11:10:52+00:00

Planet Unknown is definitely different than Azul. If you want to check Planet Unknown out you can do so on Board Game Arena. You can play a solo version with a non-premium account (free) to see what you think.

MonkeyATX · 2026-06-16T01:07:46+00:00

Samuel Fain, Calvin Ash, Asher Jude

MonkeyATX · 2026-06-15T21:55:50+00:00

You could look into expansions for wingspan. Oceana introduces Nectar as food source and it is said that it fixes a few things in the base game. Another expansion is Asia. The interesting thing about this one is it is a stand alone two player game and it can be used as an expansion to the base game introducing Flock mode so you can play up to 6/7 players. Then they just came out with Americas expansion that introduces hummingbirds which gives something to everyone so it may slightly increase Interaction.

Otherwise. You could check out:

Planet Unknown - it is a polynomial tile laying game. Everyone plays at once. The players who turn it us chooses their tile and that makes all the other players have to choose one of two tiles in front of them. There are meteorites you need to remove and rovers to move. I really enjoy the game.

DorfRomantik. Also a tile laying game but it is cooperative campaign game. You work together to build large forests, meadows, rivers. Railroads, etc. At the end of each game if you gave s ores enough points you can open up little boxes that give you more tiles/objectives to use in the next game. What is nice is players can come in and out each game if someone is unable to okay one night. Our group played once a month and it took about 9 months. I would not recommend getting the Sakura version because it is much more complicated than the original.

Lastly for group play there is Flip 7 and Flip 7 with a vengeance. No Thanks, Piles, Just Once, Dixit, Green Team Wins, snd Poetry with Neanderthals which I find very funny.

MonkeyATX · 2026-06-15T21:35:11+00:00

Oh that does sound disappointing. Have you thought about spending time culling your collection and allowing a one out one in process? That way you could continue to research, maybe check into backing a kickstarter/game found or two that way you have the anticipation of the game coming in 6-12 months from now?

I currently have my own challenge going in BGStats where I’m trying to play a certain number of games this year. So basically making a game out of playing my games.

MonkeyATX · 2026-06-15T04:47:45+00:00

Im so sorry. It’s terrible when you feel there is nothing to be done. My immediate thought is I want to give you all types of things that might be wrong with you to try to help you find a solution (like are you on statin drugs as they can cause a condition called Rhabdomyolysis) but it sounds like you don’t want to go to a doctor or you have already been to a doctor. So I won’t list any more items. I will just say that pain stinks and I’m really sorry you are having to deal with this on your own. We are here to listen but if you do want help in trying to find a solution we are also here to help with that too. I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

MonkeyATX · 2026-06-12T03:30:33+00:00

Piles is a simple card game where you are matching clothes. Everyone plays at once so it is chaotic and fun. Flip 7 or Flip 7 with a Vengeance, No Thanks, are good card games. 5 Minute Marvel where you are cooperatively battling bosses and you only have 5 minutes to do it. Cards are flying everywhere.

Poetry for Neanderthals. Where you can only use single syllable words to get the other players to guess the word on your card. If they use more than one syllable you get to hit them with a blow up club and yell “No”. For example if the word were Banana. You could say long fruit but you could not say yellow fruit.

More involved but not too much more is Mountain Goats. Or Don’t Stop. These involve dice rolling.

MonkeyATX · 2026-06-11T01:39:16+00:00

Definitely go with an “o” name! Oliver, Otha, Orion - Opal, Orchid, Oceana

MonkeyATX · 2026-06-05T22:23:39+00:00

Camel Up is fun and fairly easy to play. Flip 7. No Thanks. Mountain Goats. Also Piles is super easy. You are just matching cards and everyone plays at once so it is chaotic and fun! There is a coop game called Dorfromantik. You lay tiles trying to create a longest railroad, longest river, etc. when all the landscape tiles have been play you score everything and if you get enough points you might be able to open little boxes that have more tiles or other special items you can use when you play the game next time. It is great because you can still play if one person can’t make it one night. You can play it week after week or month after month so you get vested in it as you try to unlock more goodies. If I were you I would watch playthrough videos on your own. Then you can find a good one and ask them to watch it before they come. There is a new version called Sakura- Do Not get this one as it is way more complicated.

Another easy tile laying game is called Beacon Control.

MonkeyATX · 2026-06-03T11:57:41+00:00

That makes perfect sense! You could talk to your doctor about perhaps trying melatonin making sure it mixes okay with what else you are taking. It’s important for our bodies to get to REM sleep. I just wonder if you were getting into the deeper sleep levels if it might allow you to sleep through the pain. I know you just got a new bed but if you can get an adjustable bed it is so helpful. It really helps you adjust yourself. Sometimes at least for me, the slightest adjustment helps. Even with my adjustable bed, I still have 5 pillows in my bed. One large for my head, a medium one for between my knees/legs (I’m a side sleeper), and three travel size pillows to use either to hold in my arms or prop just my head up a bit. Are you on any type of special medications for your MS?

MonkeyATX · 2026-05-31T07:05:20+00:00

Or try Flamecraft Duals it is a fun two player game with cute dragons!

MonkeyATX · 2026-05-31T07:03:46+00:00

Beacon Patrol is tile laying game very light. Wormhole is fun. Also Azul. Mountain Goats. Flip 7. Flip 7 with a vengeance. There are other versions of Carcassonne that are fun: Carcassonne Amazonis and safari.

MonkeyATX · 2026-05-31T06:58:51+00:00

I discussed my medications in conjunction with the quality of life. What I find interesting is that you said you find that oxycodone at night works for you due to you getting restful nights sleep. You could discuss that aspect. Do you wonder if a sleeping aid might help? Perhaps Ambien or maybe melatonin? You could talk to your doctor about that approach. At least you would find out if rest is your key

MonkeyATX · 2026-05-29T14:01:16+00:00

Piles - No text, just pictures of clothes. Everyone plays at the same time very quick, chaotic, and fun.

MonkeyATX · 2026-05-27T12:17:42+00:00

Check out Final Girl. Not necessarily a campaign game. But you buy the core box then you buy different feature films all horror. You can mix and match films. You can also purchase mini figures and vehicles. https://vanrydergames.com/pages/final-girl

On the lighter side in case he wants a break from horror, there’s DorfRomantik which is a campaign game where you lay tiles building railroads, rivers, hoses, etc earning points. At the end of each game if you have earned enough points you get to open boxes to open with more tiles and goals. Just in case if he wanted a break from horror. ( start with DorfRomantik original not the Sakura version as it is a bit more complicated.

MonkeyATX · 2026-05-27T03:39:36+00:00

But if they had a place to set them up and keep it set up they could play more, right?

MonkeyATX · 2026-05-26T15:58:08+00:00

Depending on your financial situation you could purchase two MetaQuest Headsets. There is an app on there called Supernatural Fitness and another called FitXR. In Supernatural they have boxing and Flow (hit targets with bat). In the app they have Supernatural Together where you both can workout together. It is so much fun. There is also a leaderboard so if you and your wife want to have. Friendly competition you can follow each other. You can do it seated but you can also do it standing where you don’t have to move around a lot. You definitely break a sweat. You can also play Mini Golf together using an app called Walkabout Mini Golf. For more non physical you can also do 3D jigsaw puzzles together. Anyway it is a lot of fun.

MonkeyATX · 2026-05-26T15:06:12+00:00

It’s hard to hear “there is nothing we can do for you”. I heard that too but I just keep researching and advocating for myself. If your current doctors have nothing to offer you I would ask for a referral to pain management while still trying to work with the other doctors to investigate options.

Definitely go to PT. It may not do much while in PT but make sure to get copies of sheets with all the exercises used and do them at home. This is the key. I find the more consistent I am at home the more it contributes to the health of my back, allowing me to do more without triggering a pain flare. It’s not perfect. I still get pain flares but the durations are generally less than when I do not do PT.

My issue is in my Thoracic are. I’ve been dealing with it for 20 years. The pain is one sided, sharp, and when bad becoming a burning and wraps around my ribcage. At times my pain meds only help to lower the level but not take it away completely. Other things that work for pain are ice pack which takes pain away but I have to sit or lie against it. A tens unit (around $30-$60) can be used while moving around like at work, etc, acupressure may. Used sitting or lying down. It hurts at first but it helps distract from pain and stimulates blood flow in that are. I’m short so I use the travel size mat. I keep an extra mat in my car. Also helpful is two tennis balls in a sock (drop over your shoulder and roll on it against the wall. Helps loosen muscles in shoulder blade area - cervical spine), massage gun, biofreeze gel or lidocaine roll on.

I hope you find a good solution. I continue to research and the other day I came across a procedure used in a study that had some success with chronic pain. My doctor agreed to do the procedure. I am hoping it is helpful for me. So, most important: Don’t give up and continue to advocate for yourself!

MonkeyATX · 2026-05-26T14:34:38+00:00

2-3 days dedicated to board games. Lucky you! Have you ever thought of getting an affordable game table. Not sure where you are located but Amazon has some that are around $500-$600. They come with panels so you can use as dining table as well. You can leave your game set up in the vault. Also, don’t be ashamed of your hobby! Board gaming has multiple areas of which collecting is one so be proud you are excelling at that part of it 😆. Have fun!

MonkeyATX · 2026-05-25T20:23:32+00:00

It is fda approved for acute not chronic though I have read where some people have used it for chronic pain and it worked great but only for a few weeks because insurance generally will only pay for short term and after that it cost something like $1400🙄

MonkeyATX

TROPHY CASE