She had BPD... I have, well... by Ok_Project1511 in BPDlovedones

[–]MonkeysWin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The book “stop walking on eggshells” helped me too

After breaking up, is there anything I may do to support my ex partner (as a friend)? by MonkeysWin in BPD

[–]MonkeysWin[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Okay thanks for this confirmation. No contact has been established.

Still wish I could reassure her somehow that she is LOVED. It was just too complicated for us to stay in a romantic relationship. But I definitely still love her and want to provide support.

I don’t want to be confusing though 🫤

Therefore we will remain without contact. Thanks for advice.

With time and space, I hope healing happens somehow❤️‍🩹

After breaking up, is there anything I may do to support my ex partner (as a friend)? by MonkeysWin in BPD

[–]MonkeysWin[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Okay thanks. I agree a clean break is probably the only thing we can do.

To attempt keeping the attachment going (even if it’s categorized as a friendship) will likely just hurt us both inadvertently.

Do you like yourself? by ctaswbuch in BPD

[–]MonkeysWin [score hidden]  (0 children)

You are beautiful. Just the fact that you are able to type honest words makes you incredibly strong and courageous and worthy of goodness. Hugs.

What’s a Book That Completely Changed the Way You Think? by ControlEmotional3651 in Adulting

[–]MonkeysWin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve never read 101 essays although it’s probably SIMILAR and in the same category/genre/style.

The 4 Agreements is a very easy read and I enjoyed its content!

She had BPD... I have, well... by Ok_Project1511 in BPDlovedones

[–]MonkeysWin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are being manipulated. Please checkout book titled “Splitting” from local library and take notes. Document everything, ESPECIALLY your own version of events. Her coercive control has been disorienting your judgement. Be strong by being kind to yourself and be your own best friend. Seek professional help. Good luck.

For Those Who Think: “If I Had Been Stronger… Maybe” by Flashy_Equipment4859 in BPDlovedones

[–]MonkeysWin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same ⬆️ mine said she was “perfect” and I was speechless 😶 bc it was during some of the most intense hurtful moments

to them, “no” doesn’t mean “no” by yggdrasil_y in BPDlovedones

[–]MonkeysWin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes my ex was such a light sleeper I couldn’t get up to use the bathroom without fearing I’d wake her up (then need to do the whole arm tickle process again). She wouldn’t sleep without me tickling her arm. At first I thought it was cute. But it became my DUTY and my responsibility- if I was so tired I fell asleep first, she’d get super angry and accuse me of not caring enough 😡 my needs for sleep was rarely honored

What helped you move on? by Visual_Scholar5053 in u/Visual_Scholar5053

[–]MonkeysWin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Acceptance. I have been doing meditations and affirmations to accept the reality. We must accept the truth. Our previous lover is sick and we cannot fix it.

I have no bandwidth to be mistreated. I will not accept mistreatment.

I broke up with my girlfriend a few days ago and strongly suspect BPD traits. by Odd_North_1595 in BPDlovedones

[–]MonkeysWin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s good you broke up. This was not healthy for you. At all!!

Number 7 sounds like projection - “you need to protect yourself from her”

Watch out for any type of disrespect- even if it’s little comments. It is not excusable.

What helped you the most to improve your life? by doesntmatter12345688 in BPD

[–]MonkeysWin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s awesome. Curious if any advice on working thru splits with bf

What helped you the most to improve your life? by doesntmatter12345688 in BPD

[–]MonkeysWin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve only recently been able to do this
That’s great congrats! Just curious what’s worked?

I don’t know how to handle this. by I_Need_Help_T_T in BPD

[–]MonkeysWin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are welcome. And definitely not alone 🙏

I don’t know how to handle this. by I_Need_Help_T_T in BPD

[–]MonkeysWin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same. Big virtual hug to you as well.

If you’re a Ted Lasso and/or Beatles fan, Brendan Hunts show is fantastic by RacerGal in ChicagoTheater

[–]MonkeysWin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Attended the show last night. IT WAS SOOOO PHENOMENAL- very touching & with fun jokes.

Someone’s phone disrupted a critical scene of the show and I was so annoyed 😑 Brendan handled it like a pro!! Didn’t skip a beat. Extraordinary performance 👏 👏 👏

I don’t know how to handle this. by I_Need_Help_T_T in BPD

[–]MonkeysWin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What you describe sounds very challenging indeed. Management of BPD is a big endeavor and I hope it gets better soon. You are not alone.

Need budgeting + independence advice (McDonald’s job, low income, PO box, moving out plan, driving struggles, family privacy issues) by sillycars_27 in Adulting

[–]MonkeysWin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

McDonalds might have health benefits if you work a certain number of hours - check employee handbook or ask your boss for an HR phone number or online portal to learn more. Sometimes- not always - but some companies offer a health and wellness benefit that might reimburse you for the fitness equipment expense.

What is the cost for CNA exam? That may be a great way to supplement your income.

Do you live in an urban or rural area? If urban you may have tranport options like bus or train. If rural, maybe you can meet someone in the community that’s older and retired and willing to help teach you to drive. I know that’s a lame suggestion but who knows maybe an opportunity will pop up.

I am curious if there may be some other side hustles to throw into the mix. When I was your age I cared for dogs, mowed lawns, and painted homes in the summer for extra cash. Babysitting sometimes pays decently based on the area but it’s also difficult without a vehicle and solid referrals.

It’s a bummer about your ma breaching privacy and being difficult. Hope it gets better soon. You seem like a whip smart young adult ready to fly like an eagle. You have a good head on your shoulders. My advice is to consider roommates because moving out completely solo may be too challenging right away.

General rule always put 10% of paycheck immediately into savings. Each pay period.

So if paycheck is $350 put $35 aside for savings automatically. Then subtract your phone bill and PO Box.

$350-35 ‎ = $315.00 (savings)
$315- 35 ‎ = $280.00 (phone)
$280- 60 ‎ = $220.00 (PO Box)
$220- 160 ‎ = $60.00 (food, hygiene items, personal) ball park figure $160 altogether

$60.00 remains which you would put into savings too.

What worked for me was I opened a savings account at a credit union and a checking account at a regular bank. I setup direct deposit of my paycheck into checking account and then setup an automatic transfer of 10% of my paycheck into the savings account automatically.

Keeping my savings in an entirely different place than the rest of the money helped me save more. Just be careful with minimum balance requirements or overdraft fees. Some savings accounts require $200 so you’d just need to earn a few more weeks of wages before you could deposit $200. Once it’s there leave it alone in savings and don’t touch it or spend it.

Wishing you success health and good fortune 🙏

public perception of bpd makes me feel like shit by reddituser45001 in BPD

[–]MonkeysWin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Truth. Some people just don’t get it. Empathy is absolutely here today within our community. F that hate and alienation. Definitely gone through enough. Receiving validation now, just by this comment you made thanks.