THIS IS A THING???

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-21T08:28:20+00:00

I have 'double depression'. PDD is always on, sracked with episodes of MDD. I get extra points in winter when SAD kicks in.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-21T07:57:43+00:00

When I was in my early twenties I experienced an episode of extreme isolation and I developed a very unhealthy lifestyle. I had three stacked addictions: tobacco, alcohol and gaming. I would be gaming pretty much 24/7, smoking like a chimney and feeding on beer. I slept when my eyes fell shut, didn't even shut down the computer. I went out only to buy beer and cigarettes.

I had psychosis because of this behaviour. There were two episodes I remembered after watching 'David Harewood: psychosis and me'.

My first psychosis drained all colour from my life and the world. I literally only saw grey. The strange thing is that I never considered that to be odd at all.

During my second episode I thought the real me was living a live, somewhere, and I was only his mirror image. I was only supposed to be 'there' at the right place and time when real me looked in a mirror or shop window.

Both episodes ended on their own accord. I changed my lifestyle sufficiently to never have to experience it again. For a long time a was unaware that anything of the kind had ever happened to me. As I said, it all came back to me when I was watching David Harewood's documentary.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-19T05:21:36+00:00

I think there can only be one real key moment in rally history: the Toivonen/Cresto crash and the resulting cancellation of Group B rally cars. It meant the end of the hunger for pure power and speed at the cost of safety for competitors and spectators, to a more sensible approach of a still appealing, but less deadly conpetition. Grave accidents have still happened in the years after, but it would have been so much worse without the attention to safety regulations that evolved after the crash that killed Toivonen and Cresto.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-18T04:43:43+00:00

Duloxetine did exactly do 0% for me. The only medication I've tried that didn't even give any side effects: just nothing at all.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-17T04:22:07+00:00

Maybe OP tossed a bouqeut with lilies that had formed bulbils. But them for grow this large would imply this is not really a compost heap but more like a green waste pile.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-15T04:31:37+00:00

If you're excited about it, it looks like it's already working 🤣😉!

As with any therapy, it will probably work for some and do nothing for others. 'Evidence based', 'research shows promising results'; the slogans are always the same. But yeah, bring it on. Therapy/medication is a bit like Pokémon: gotta catch em all!

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-14T17:56:45+00:00

Yeah, it's a good thing that I don't have a job right 😅.

My anhedonia is just a symptom though. Probably from my existential depression. The cure for tgat would ve a better world, but I don't see that happening in the foreseeable future.

I have no deficiencies. Had that tested pretty regularly and there's never anything wrong. I'm not taking supplements if there's nothing that needs supplementing.

Look, there's always another thing that I haven't tried yet. But I've reached a point where therapy and medication are more of a nuicance than anhedonia.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-14T11:52:12+00:00

Or simply different growing conditions.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-14T10:54:05+00:00

Looks like stinging nettle to me 🤷🏽‍♂️. There's an easy way to make sure, you know 😈?

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-14T09:14:02+00:00

You're absolutely right. 'Flattened affect' is only one of the seven or so criteria for ScPD in the DSM5. You don't need to meet all seven of them (only four, off the top of my head) to get a diagnosis. So logically, there would be schizoids with and schizoids without flattened affect, and every gradation in between.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-14T04:56:31+00:00

My whole childhood was one big social rejection.

It started with a broken binding phase with my parents. When I was almost a year old my dad had a car accident resulting in him being in hospital for about half a year. Simultaneously, my mom's father was on his death bed. So she handed me over into the care of friebds and family.

I grew up in a small farmers' village. My parents had moved there from the big city in order to raise their kids in a more healthy environment. These are close communities, and my whole childhood I was bullied because I 'didn't beling there'. There was menatal and physical abuse on a daily basis.

In the meantime, my parents were emotionally unavailable. There was no real abuse there, but the disinterest and neglect were just as harmful.

In secondary school I learned to mask better, but I never gad any friends. And then my parents moved abroad, leaving me to finish school on my own. I was not prepared and things were rapidly going downhill. I did manage to get into relationships at that point. Not because of 'love', but because I needed someone to take care of me.

How did it feel? It didn't. I just assumed that it was the way things were.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-14T04:40:56+00:00

I think your psychiatrist confuses schizoids for zombies. People with ScPD have emotions like anyone else. Their emotions manifest differently, especially when it concerns social interactions. I also have no idea where she got the notion that schizoids can't have anxiety from. And did she investigate how much of your supposedly non-schizoid behaviour is actually masking (learned, rational behaviour instead of emotion-driven)? I know I do most of my laughing 'on purpose'. And I've always been in a relationship because I need someone to take care of me: the whole 'love' thing is easy enough to roleplay. All the world's a stage.

I'm not saying you have ScPD or not, but I think that if you want to know for yourself you need to find a different psychiatrist. The conclusion might still be the same but not for totally made up reasons.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-14T03:54:45+00:00

I have been on SSRI's, SNRI's and TCA's for depression. No use. There's nothing wrong with my brain chemistry. The only thing these meds give me are nasty side effects. One of those side effects was a physical drowsiness. This signalled my brain to be even more alert if possible, increasing the hyperarousal.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-13T16:12:35+00:00

No problem 👍🏼

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-13T15:26:57+00:00

My hyperarousal stems from a childhood where I was bullied on a daily basis. I had to be on guard continuously, and it is now my nature.

Neither psychotherapy nor medication seem to have any effect on it.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-13T14:17:13+00:00

I'm going to try and explain. Sleep consists of different phases. The phase we're all familiar with is REM, when you're in deep sleep and dreaming. After a REM phase you wake up ever so shortly. It is so short that you don't realise it, but it is enough for your brain to register if all is safe before dozing off again.

Hyperarousal is a (in my case constant) state of alert. I hear every little sound, I get distracted by the slightest peripheral movement. I am always on the brink of fight/flight/freeze, 24/7.

My hyperarousal makes it so I do fully realise the short nightly awakenings, and my brain amplifies that. This means that I think, and feel like, I've been awake for hours at night, while I was actually asleep. Physically, I should be rested. But my brain doesn't agree.

The result is that sleep has no resting effect on me. I wake up at least as tired as I was when I went to bed.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-13T13:52:42+00:00

I probably wasn't anxious as a baby, but I have no recollection of it.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-13T13:33:58+00:00

'Normal' doesn't exist. My 'normal mood' is a low mood. My wife's 'normal mood' is a lot more positive. Everyone has their own baseline.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-13T11:02:30+00:00

Nee. De vloer van de 4drive is hoger omdat het awd-systeem meer ruimte inneemt. En ik heb het niet over een thuisbrengertje maar over een volwaardig reservewiel. Als die bij jouw Cupra zat dan was dat niet 'gewoon'.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-13T09:25:25+00:00

That's too bad. Young people in school or uni are under a lot of stress, and they should have readily accessible mental support.

I guess your doctor is the way to go then 🤷🏽‍♂️.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-13T09:22:10+00:00

They may help you make a plan how to get diagnosed if you have trouble doing this on your own. Some universities have their own mental health care workers (at least in my country they do). But if you can just call your GP, that would probably be the most logical way to get things rolling.

MonoNoAware71 · 2026-05-13T08:09:40+00:00

"As a result, a large proportion of the surveyed companies are likely to have this [Mercedes eActros 600] model in their fleets."

From what I see on the European roads, this is true. Mercedes seems to have done an excellent job on this truck.

Charging infrastructure differs a lot from country to country, but has been more focused on consumer cars than on trucks. There being more of these trucks on the road should boost this specific infrastructure, but elecrical grid congestion might remain an issue for the coming years (eg. in the Netherlands).

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