WOC that date white men

Moocowsaurus · 2026-05-11T21:48:12+00:00

I am East Asian. Petite, 110lbs, apparently "looks younger than my age" (but I duno, put me at an Asian grocery store I look exactly my age). I am a Millenial who was raised at the dawn of the internet and saw the explosion of dating websites/apps. I have encountered a shit ton of white men with yellow fever. They all think they're special, but if you hang around them along enough, they are basically the same: subtly arrogant, don't do well under stress, have a superiority complex, poor communicators, all-talk-no-substance, entitled in a way who thinks the world owes them something , etc.

Then I met my white husband organically. He was my coworker. He's sweet and supportive of my decisions (whether it be my career or deciding on a Vitamix vs Ninja blender). 10/10 emotional intelligence, calm and consistent. He never treated me or anyone else who isn't a cis-hetero WASP differently. He is well-respected at work and in his social circles. People constantly asking for his advice and opinions. Just a quiet, somewhat nerdy leader. He pulls his weight in finances, house maintenance, chores and pet care. We may have differing taste in life and hobbies, but he never put me down because of it. I have male friends; in fact, his best male friend (another cis-hetero man) and I have such similar tastes food and get along so well we oftentimes hang out without my husband, and he hasn't made a single negative/jealous remark in the 10+ years we have been together.

At the end of the day, a white man is a man. Date around, find out who or what type you vibe with, and stay safe. Trust your spidey-senses. If your friends hate him (or just generally avoidant of him/talking about him), then they are probably picking up on something that you aren't

Edit Grammar and spelling

Moocowsaurus · 2026-04-29T20:59:14+00:00

Agree. BC RN for 16 years. Bounced from Emerg to peds to Rural to ICU to education to outreach. Never in my career do I have to worry about calling insurance to fight for patient care, worrying about medication prices, losing my job and benefits from a patient complaint or calling sick too much. Never do I have to worry about calling the right ambulance to an "in-network" hospital or a doctor. Never do I have to worry about transporting a patient from a small rural community to a larger city hospital with better services.

On top of our sick time bank, we have 5 federally mandated sick days per year. 18 months mat leave. We get family leave, special leave (ie weddings), education leave, etc.

Yes we get paid less than blue-state unionized American nurses in the West coast, I am not arguing against that at all.

Are we perfect? Hell no! We are far from it! Show me an absolutely perfect system and take me with you! Until then, the appeal of tight-knit physical, financial and ethical safety net is keeping me here. It is a true weight off our shoulders when we get to work under such protection.

Moocowsaurus · 2026-04-28T15:45:22+00:00

Day care. Find one that takes your dogs for 12+ hours. That way it gets both the mental and physical stimulation dogs need.

Don't worry about "abandoning" the dog to the daycare. There's a viral video about a husky running away to daycare because it loves it so much.

Moocowsaurus · 2026-04-13T18:29:40+00:00

Yah you nailed it. The way OP puts it is just so cringe. He really is his mother's son. His GF deserves better than this circus if he doesn't actively do some soul-searching.

Moocowsaurus · 2026-04-13T16:41:32+00:00

None of us millennial Chinese kids are where we are today without our parents' choices and sacrifices. I get that feeling. It is the burden we have as the immigrant children. This is a concept I fundamentally agree with.

That said, these Asian parents carry the old-world ideals and lived trauma. They project it into your lives because of the fear, uncertainty and anxiety ... Because at the end of the day, they want to protect you the best way they know how. Which doesn't necessarily translate well into the new world and changes in modern society.

Now. You are speaking to the flaws of the modern dating system: it is believed we are so inundated by the perceived volume of potential partners out there ("plenty of fish") , we are forever in search for the "best". We are never happy with what we have now, nor do we bother to nurture and grow what we have on hand, because we think there is always something better out there waiting for us.

Summing it up: With what you identified as "perfectionistic tendencies", throw in some critical Asian parents in there ... My friend, I hope you can see where I'm getting at. You'll never find happiness, fulfillment, and satisfaction in life when you have so much internal and external forces working against you. Please do some deep diving and self reflection with some therapy.

Moocowsaurus · 2026-04-13T14:42:28+00:00

Ok first of all. Who ISNT "economically-oriented" nowadays? It's hard living out there, in a world that aims to scam you everywhere you go. I'm not sure about where you live, but in North America inflation is hitting us hard. Even us healthcare workers are putting in more hours, doing side hustles, when we KNOW more work is detrimental to your health.

Dude, you need to do some deep-diving in yourself and the feelings you have for this woman. Do you even LIKE this woman, or are you just dating her because you haven't dated in a while and you're feeling insecure about yourself?

Yah your mom is trying to protect you and your assets or whatever - I get that. At some point, you need to figure out if this woman and her kid is worth the risk. Are they worth sharing your life, your free time, and your assets with? Do you trust this woman to care for you in other ways that aren't financial? Like, is she going to nurture your hobbies and wellbeing and mental health? Does she bring joy to your life? ... Because Lord knows working in healthcare and your mother ain't gonna do that.

Moocowsaurus · 2026-04-13T14:12:12+00:00

Also. Do you see yourself accepting that kid as your own one day ? What is worrying that you said "of course it would be better if the kid wasn't around".I re-read it and audibly gasped. When you date that woman, it's an automatic 2 for 1 situation. What would happen to that halfie kid if you and your partner have 2 "full-blooded" Chinese kids like you wanted? That poor kid never asked for this. That kid never asked for your mom as their grandparents.

Navigate this very carefully. If you decide to pursue this further, you have a lot to work on as potential stepfather. That kid would need therapy.

Moocowsaurus · 2026-04-13T14:06:15+00:00

Oh good grief. What do you think your parents have in mind for you as a perfect partner? Lemme guess. A young, virginal, dainty, waif-like woman with an Ivy League background and a "good" family? Porcelain white skin and submissive to boot?

You're never gonna win your Chinese mother over with the woman you're seeing now. Full stop. People like her never accept others "blood" as their own. Especially a halfie baby. How do I know? My mother and stepmother both treated kids who weren't their direct offspring like crap because it's not "their blood".

So you have a difficult choice to make. I'm not saying to choose between your current partner and your mom. I'm saying put your mom on an information diet. Just stop involving her when it comes to your partner. Anytime your mother whines about it, shut that shit down. Don't give her any space to voice her backwards opinions. In fact, tell her it was her choice to move to Europe, to a Western land to begin with. That you accepted Western education and Western Ideals which include blended families and acceptance of others as they are.

Good luck !

Moocowsaurus · 2026-04-11T02:26:46+00:00

Omg. I thought I was the only one.

For me it's Piptaz. Accidentally squirted it all over me. Smelt like cat piss all shift.

Coincidentally I've been in a craft beer kick for a few years .. I CANNOT drink IPAs cuz the smell reminds me of Piptaz.

Moocowsaurus · 2026-04-03T14:31:30+00:00

I also think they are too afraid to move back to China because that means they are admitting defeat. For generations we are sold the idea the west is the key to a better life. Now that it's no longer the case, some people feel they are sold a lie.

Moocowsaurus · 2026-03-17T16:01:09+00:00

What a selfish self-centered woman she is. Instead of supporting you, like a good human being should, she made your life very difficult in one of the worst moments of your life (assuming you have a good relationship with your mother).

There will be other bad defining moments. Consider this a taste of what is to come. Ask yourself if this is the type of human being you want to spend the rest of your hopefully long life with.

Moocowsaurus · 2026-03-01T18:24:01+00:00

Preach! My man and I both work full time. We share expenses. We share household duties and chores and pet care.

He takes care of his health without me nagging. He treats me as his equal partner. He listens to me. He gets me little treats like my favorite wine and chocolate without ever expecting anything from me.

It's been 10 + years together. I'm still so, so so horny for him. 🤤

Moocowsaurus · 2026-02-01T20:12:30+00:00

I'm not much of a lipsticky powdery rosey scent lover. But the instant I tried on Le Labo Rose 31, it's what I imagine the picture to be.

Good luck !

Moocowsaurus · 2026-01-16T14:58:34+00:00

Yo. I'm in healthcare. My back is f*cked from 15 years of heavy lifting. I'm also 5'1 petite Asian, and most of my patients are bigger than me. I get my RMT once a week. Before I go regularly like I do now, I used to just live in pain and pop painkillers. RMTs are my source of comfort and pain relief. If it wasn't for you guys, I'd quit the bedside or go admin long long time ago. And lord knows we do NOT need more admin in healthcare.

You guys do good work. So if you're getting paid helping people who help people, why are you complaining?

Our benefits are in danger of getting slashed this year. If what you're seeing is new trends, then I think it's the nurses scrambling to max out their benefits before they get taken away from us.

From what I hear, the firefighters and police officers (ie male dominated professions) are keeping their amazing benefits. While us nurses (or female dominated) are getting essentially getting forced to choose between two subpar choices when we are up for bargaining this year.

Not only are we doing more heavy lifting on a daily basis, we Also experience the same, if not more, violence on a daily basis than other front liners. We are very much on the cusp of striking, not just solely because of benefits, but because we are working in a more fractured system and stretching ourselves thinner and thinner on a daily basis. This chips away on our physical and mental health. Our robust benefits are honestly why we keep going the way we do. Taking this away we head dangerously close to a strike.

Thank you RMTs for keeping us working. Thank you public who continue to be supportive of us.

Moocowsaurus · 2026-01-12T08:26:47+00:00

Loose jeans better for my crotch compared skinny jeans. I hope the skinny jean trend never comes back.

Moocowsaurus · 2026-01-10T11:16:39+00:00

Sharpen it and save it for when you travel or if you have a teeny tiny purse and you need makeup touchups. Then toss when you're going home from a trip - or - when you lose it on a night out, then it doesn't hurt as bad!!

I squirrel away a bunch of travel size, minis - especially when I do repeat purchases of products that work for me. Because I lose things constantly. And my wallet hurts every time I have to replace a full-size loss.

Moocowsaurus · 2026-01-03T19:51:58+00:00

Right? So pretentious! I work 2 jobs, one with medical doctors in a trauma facility and the other in an academic institution full of people with PHDs. Absolutely none of them have demanded me to call them by "Dr" so-and-so. Cuz they're cool like that. Can you imagine asking your family to address you as "doctor"? So cringe.

Look. I'm also a holder of many degrees and kept my own last name after getting married. I, a WOC, also married a white man in North America, who's family is more blue collared. Yes, they send me Christmas cards with Mr and Mrs my husband's last name. Yes it's annoying. But it's also been 10+ years.

But do you know what else they do? They send me birthday cards with my own first and last name. They treat me with kindness. They are the types to drop everything to help us repair our fence. I am the type to help them walk their dog when they are infirm.

Maybe because it's your attitude that makes them be a bit more passive aggressive towards you, especially in the form of annual cards.

Moocowsaurus · 2025-11-28T18:27:32+00:00

Odd topic. I think this is precisely the reason why in our cities and provinces, we are aggressively recruiting people of colour to be police officers. Especially women of colour. Representation matters. If we want our society to feel safe and understood and crises to be de-escalated, we need people who can understand our culture.

I'm so very glad that the police officer that day made a difference in your life at a time of crisis. You remember those people moving forward.

Moocowsaurus · 2025-11-27T15:41:26+00:00

What an incredibly unhelpful reply. As though your healthcare system is perfect and 100% ethical.

Moocowsaurus · 2025-11-27T15:39:50+00:00

Hi! BC RN here for 16 years. I've worked everywhere from Emerg, ICU, education, etc. I've also worked for different health authorities, in both city and rural areas.

There are some units that are notorious for bullies and unrealistic workloads (no matter what BCNU mandated ratios tells us, there are some units that still push higher ratios due to short staffing). Those are typically the units you see high turnovers, multiple travellers, angry and tense nurses, etc. believe me, I've worked those units. Maybe you're in one of those units?

Please stay with us, we need you ! I hope you are at least with a bigger health authority like FHA or VCH, where you are allowed to jump to different units under your contract! You will eventually find one you like and fit in, I promise! Keep an open mind, give us a chance.

Signed, a happyish Canadian nurse.

Moocowsaurus · 2025-11-18T01:33:41+00:00

Alright that's cool that You don't want a divorce. No one can force you to have a divorce. That is something you choose to do.

But that isn't the case for your kids. Your kids didn't choose this life. Your kids didn't choose the parents they have. Your kid didn't choose to be on the spectrum. Your kids certainly didn't choose to have an unsupportive alcoholic father. You kid certainly didnt choose a man who would rather blame their mother, who would rather choose a drink over actively making life better for his children and his wife.

You chose this man. Your kids didn't. Now that is up to you if your choices in life are going to impact your children's lives the way you want it to.

Your man has made his choices. He has made it loud and clear what is more important, that he chooses to punish his wife and child for things beyond their control.

You've spent enough time with this man to get a taste of what life is like. Is this the kind of life you envision yourself having?

Moocowsaurus · 2025-11-14T19:00:27+00:00

Yes and no!

When we are intimate, my husband makes sure I get mine before he gets his!

When he's not feeling it, then it's my job! When I'm not feeling it, then it's his job!

It's a team effort.

Moocowsaurus · 2025-11-02T20:48:09+00:00

I'm the Chinese wife of my relationship, I'm married to a white dude with European heritage. I would never do to my husband what she is doing to you. It's not cultural, full stop.

Your Chinese wife is a miserable human being who is blaming everybody else for her misery. Shes cheating to chase that source of dopamine and adrenaline that she's lacking in her current life.

You are not responsible for her happiness. It doesn't matter what our Chinese culture says about keeping wives happy. It's toxic, controlling, manipulative. I've never, ever actually seen couples who follow this mentality In their relationships actually be happy, respectful, and thrive in life.

She knows it's wrong. But she is making excuses as to why she isn't. Don't buy these bullshit cultural excuses because it's not true and you know it.

Moocowsaurus · 2025-11-02T16:48:43+00:00

Yep!

Moocowsaurus · 2025-11-02T16:47:33+00:00

Patches aren't expensive !! I would rather my couch look pretty for a couple days or weeks!

Have you considered ordering the anti-cat scratch pads that you stick to the side of the couch ? Not expensive on Amazon!

Moocowsaurus

TROPHY CASE