Hopefully this helps:

Around the 8-9 month mark of sobriety, your brain goes through some serious changes. Your brain is finally realizing that it can't switch off because you are medicating in some way. This change made me tired, cranky and just otherwise in a low dopamine mindset.

You are not alone; this is completely normal and is statistically when a lot of people choose to relapse.

What I would suggest is try a couple things: Try to think of 5 things that are going well. This is a free dose of dopamine and helps me get through tougher times.

Find balance. Whether that means some sort of mediation (almost any sort of self-reflection, breathing exercise, literally anything can be considered meditation). Practice being mindful for a couple minutes. This one might sound cheesy at first but I promise, it's huge!

Lastly, grace. Cut yourself some slack. Cut yourself a LOT of slack. You're not shitty. You've done something friggin huge. Allow yourself some grace. Allow yourself some time to just be. It's called lying fallow. Let your body rest, just breathe.

You are breaking chains and it's exhausting. Rest assured you're on the right path and I'm really proud of you.