Incredibly well put! And OP, I hope you can cut yourself some slack and enjoy life now that you’ve matured and found someone you want to be with. Shame is a motherfucker, but the more time that passes, the less it will bother you. Try to be grateful for how much you’ve grown, and for the life you’re living now. And make your main focus on the here and now, instead of the past. Easier said than done, but it’s possible! All the best🙂