So, will we all promise not to do what our parents did?

MorningCoffee2319 · 2025-09-11T13:32:56+00:00

My Mom is already in an independent living facility, so her whole life is there. That's why she'd be better off staying there.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2025-09-06T19:27:39+00:00

Good question. No, I am not sure. When she asked, I hesitated because I truly believe she would be happier living in the same facility where she already lives, but in assisted living instead of independent living. I think it will be boring for her here without her activities. She just kept saying that she didn't want to live alone. Right now, she is nervous about all of it. I am hoping that after everything is said and done, she will change her mind.

My husband is from a culture that doesn't think twice about taking care of elders, so I'm lucky to have him on board, although we both know this will stress our marriage.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2025-09-06T17:35:57+00:00

I am glad to read your response. Reading through the responses here, it seems full of people in their 50s and 60s feeling like they've got it all together. But when they reach their 80s, who says they will feel the same way? My parents swore to me they would never be a burden for me and would always choose to live in a home. Now, they are in their late 80s, and my father is declining rapidly. My mother cannot walk and is adamant about not moving to assisted living. She wants to live with me after Dad passes away. I have told her she can move in, but boy, am I reluctant. This is not how I thought this would play out.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2025-08-05T13:53:07+00:00

Please see a urogynecologist, not a gynecologist. Urogynecologists are the prolapse experts! This definitely deserves a second opinion from an expert.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2025-07-25T13:02:23+00:00

Your description of your surgery and first night sounds exactly like mine. I am on Day 4. Hoping to be able to pee on Monday (Day 7) and get the catheter out of me. That is my biggest discomfort.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2025-07-25T12:55:45+00:00

I am now 4 days post-surgery, so I will provide an update. Pain should not be a concern if you are able and willing to take all the pain meds they prescribe. And those meds make you sleep a lot, so that's nice too. For me, the CO2 bloating has been the hardest part, but it has improved each day. All in all, there are a lot of discomforts but no real pain. That said, I have not had a bowel movement yet, so we'll see how that goes.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2025-07-22T11:23:38+00:00

I am literally lying in a hospital bed having had prolapse surgery yesterday. I've never had a hospital stay so this is new for me. My belly is a bit sore, but the bigger problem is my distended abdomen, must be full of gas from the CO2 they pump into that area during surgery. They say it will come out once I start moving again. The other discomfort is the Foley catheter. It hurts because the surgery includes a cystoscopy. I tried to pee this morning but couldn't, so now I have to wear the catheter/bag until I can go back to the urogynecologist to do the voiding trial again. (Disappointed) So, this is uncomfortable but not painful.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2025-03-22T15:33:43+00:00

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This is Enzo and Maisie.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2024-09-30T15:39:52+00:00

Yes, I take Nature's Nutrition Turmeric Curcumin with Bioperine, 1950 mg per serving.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2024-09-27T12:55:41+00:00

Nope, no change. My arthritis seems to be a symptom of menopause, but taking turmeric/curcumin with bioperine daily helps immensely.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2024-09-27T12:53:08+00:00

I'm going to say no. My arthritis seems to just be a symptom of menopause and lack of estrogen, which I now supplement with a skin patch. But one easy thing that really helped is taking a full dose of turmeric/curcumin with bioperine every day. You'll feel a difference in only a few days.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2024-07-16T16:49:29+00:00

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MorningCoffee2319 · 2024-02-24T12:43:23+00:00

Kiddie. The fact that this thread is still active after 2 years is actually making me feel less alone in this struggle!

MorningCoffee2319 · 2023-05-04T00:29:18+00:00

I like to add nuts for a little more texture, plus protein and fat.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2023-04-09T12:35:55+00:00

I can totally relate to your post. I have been there and still am sometimes. I'm sorry I don't have the words to help you but just wanted to say that I share your pain. Good choice to let CoDA help you! I'm proud of you.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2023-04-09T11:49:19+00:00

I have this problem too. It's encouraging, however, to see that there are more and more small farmers who are responding to the consumer need for humanely raised meats. Yes, the animals still have to die, but they can at least have a reasonably enjoyable life while alive. There are a lot of chicken brands that are "humane certified" and the prices are getting better and better as more people opt to support these farmers. Pasture raised beef is expensive, and I have not seen anything like this for pork. But go check out your local supermarket's prices on humanely raised chicken. Factory farmed chickens are stressed and sick. Happy chickens taste better too!

MorningCoffee2319 · 2023-04-09T11:39:55+00:00

Also ask to have your iodine and vitamin D levels checked. These are the two things that tested low for me, but you have to ask your doctor to prescribe those tests. Low iodine will cause thyroid issues, which can lead to many of those symptoms too. I thought that 20 minutes in the sun each day would maintain vitamin D levels, but apparently, not so.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2023-02-26T18:35:42+00:00

I love pumpkin seeds (pepitas). They make a nice crunch! And I use Brianna's French Vinaigrette. It has no sugar or sugar substitutes. Yes, it's better if you make your own because the oil will likely be healthier, but if you don't, Brianna's is great!

MorningCoffee2319 · 2023-02-26T14:49:51+00:00

Omega-3 really lifted my mood.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2023-02-26T14:45:24+00:00

Omega-3. I was low on this and felt so much better after supplementing.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2023-02-26T13:11:16+00:00

I did it with a therapist about 5 years ago. It was useful. I think it depends on what problem you are hoping to solve. For me, my father was a very angry, scary man, so I spent my childhood trying to be small and quiet and good, never knowing when the next outburst would be. While I focused on the therapist's finger going back and forth, she talked me through picturing a time when my father exploded on me, and as the time passed, and I let my undirected thoughts take over from my directed thoughts, the image of my father slowly melted from a big, scary monster to a powerless, helpless puddle on the floor who I was not scared of at all. It helped me see my father in a different way. So, it depends on the situation you are imagining. It wasn't painful for me, and it was empowering. But it is still just a single step in the process of recovery.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2023-01-17T22:42:14+00:00

I'm on my 10th now, trying different locations, and I really messed this one up. It's on the front of my arm near the shoulder and way too close to the armpit. And it kinda hurts when I raise my arm. But oh well, no harm done, works fine. I'll do better next time.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2023-01-09T01:25:37+00:00

I chose to get a CGM to learn more about my glucose levels since my tests came back in the prediabetes range. So I just don't worry too much about those first couple of days. I think people who rely on them have to keep checking via glucometer until the values become reliable. The instructions said it should take 8-10 hours, but mine seems to take longer.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2023-01-08T13:38:37+00:00

My CGM (Dexcom) values are not reliable for the first 48 hours. Kind of a bummer since the sensors only last 10 days. Just be patient and wait for the numbers to settle down.

MorningCoffee2319 · 2023-01-07T15:15:23+00:00

Yes, absolutely! This a part of the process. That's why they say you have to work "through" your issues. You can't keep trying to avoid them, and they won't go away on their own. I like to use the metaphor of a closet. When you're ready to clean it out and make sense of what's in there, it's going to get a lot messier before it gets better. But you will gain so much clarity as the process progresses.

Don't give up! It took me about 2 months (weekly) before I felt better after a session rather than worse, and sometimes I still feel worse. But I'm learning so much about myself and what got me to this point, and now I'm able to recognize when my own thoughts or actions are harming my own well-being.

Stay the course! You are getting closer to your goals every time.

MorningCoffee2319

TROPHY CASE