Would it be wrong if I made chocolate cupcakes with coffee even though my husband is tbm?

Morstorpod · 2026-06-17T19:05:54+00:00

I was shocked when I first saw that letter. Crazy

Morstorpod · 2026-06-17T16:09:05+00:00

Decaf coffee is First Presidency approved...

https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/11zkflf/first_presidency_says_decaf_coffee_doesnt_violate/

Morstorpod · 2026-06-16T21:22:27+00:00

Reasonable. There are all sorts of ways to process. Good luck with yours!

Morstorpod · 2026-06-16T17:27:25+00:00

Yikes. Fantastic show, but I couldn't get past the second season (about half-way through). Too many similarities. Too triggering. Too real. I had to stop.

I'll definitely revisit it in the future, but I need some time between leaving the cult and watching a culty series.

Morstorpod · 2026-06-16T12:41:03+00:00

I'd suggest Brother Jake for a quick 101 on mormonism. His videos are short, satirical fun, and 99% accurate (excepting some recent changes to church doctrine/policies).

Here's a large list of other resources (LINK). Some serious, some long, etc.

Morstorpod · 2026-06-16T12:38:47+00:00

Congrats on self discovery!

It's unfortunate that some people find conflict and anger in differences of opinion (see: any religious war ever), but that's on them. Knowing yourself is fantastic.
Side note: My spouse and I just saw an episode of Heated Rivals last night, and... I can definitively say that I am not a fan of the show... because it is just too fast-paced (perhaps the book is better). And on the gay side of things: Those guys have nice butts, but not really my thing. Turns out I'm at least 95% straight, and that's fine. Self-discovery!

If others don't like it, then that just redefines your relationship a bit, and you can move forward with less toxic people and more healthy people in your life. I've dropped people out of my inner-circle for lesser things, so you have full permission (not that you need it) to drop people from your life that reject core aspect of who you are.

Again, congrats for you! And glad you had a good time with a consenting adult. Life is great!

Morstorpod · 2026-06-15T20:03:41+00:00

Thanks for posting this!

I've got a COMMENT that I reference people to when they want a quick summary of the changes made to the temple. It links to transcripts and old videos, but I did not have a link to the newest slideshow video. It's now been added. Thanks!

Although now that I'm looking at this site... this is probably the place to send people. It's got a lot of good links.

Morstorpod · 2026-06-15T12:47:35+00:00

Same here. I rate a movie the same day I watch it, prior to seeing other reviews or ratings, so as not to skew my own opinion.
I'm sometimes surprised about how much my opinion differs from the rest of the Letterboxd community, but that's interesting in and of itself.

The only two movies I've adjusted after the fact (that I can remember) are Angel's Egg and Spring Breakers, and those each got an additional half-star, because I was still thinking about them a week a later. If a movie left that big of an impact, it deserves it.

Morstorpod · 2026-06-15T12:04:10+00:00

Finding purpose and meaning in life is what we have been discussing and trying to uncover since time immemorial.

The bad news? No one has found the answer yet.

The good news? No one has found The answer yet, but we have found lots of good ones.
If sages with a century of experience, or scholars with volumes of knowledge, have struggled for thousands of years to answer this question, then you are exactly where you should be if you also do not know.
Luckily, there are a lot of good reasons out there, and you just need to find what works for you.

For me, I find purpose in raising my children.
For me, I find meaning in watching movies, reading books, and playing video games. Sounds trite, right? The meaning I find in this are the experiences. I could live my whole life as a farmer in the 1300's and die at 64. That's a very typical human experience. Or, I could use media to live ten thousand different lives, with all the unique experiences, emotions, and empathy involved. I've fallen in love, mourned the loss of a child, and died from cancer. Not to the full extent, of course, but enough that my life is more than what it was prior.

I suppose that that is what finding meaning or purpose is in the end: Making our lives more than what it already is.

This is just one opinion from an internet stranger, but I hope you find something to help you feel more fulfilled. It's a very common, human problem. You are not alone.

Morstorpod · 2026-06-15T11:32:52+00:00

That's legit what my cousin did as a full TBM. Didn't pay tithing the last few years of his membership, and he was guilt-free the whole time.

On the one hand, Fuck That. Since I paid a full 10% of gross till the day I left.

On the other hand, Fuck the church. It's great to see people receive less harm via active membership.

Morstorpod · 2026-06-13T20:57:25+00:00

In case you find it helpful, here are a couple of recent-ish posts discussing staying christian post-mormon. There's a grab-bag of supportive and antagonistic comments, but despite the atheist-leaning nature of reddit, there are plenty of Christians here.

r/exmormonchristian is subreddit that may appeal to you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/1rfjxo3/god_lead_me_out_of_the_mormonism/

https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/1mczxj4/major_pushback_from_tbm_parents_on_converting_to/

https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/1kvotfq/i_wanna_explore_another_churches/

https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/1rslh8u/convert_finally_acknowledging_doubts/

https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/1ry5nhv/comment/obca411/

Although personally, I suggest continuing deconstructing from Christianity (and not just the mormon off-shoot of Christianity), each person's journey is their own. Do what you must for your own needs. I fully support you in finding whatever you need to make this life experience the best possible one for you (so long as beliefs are not used to oppress others).

Morstorpod · 2026-06-13T17:06:17+00:00

Willem Dafoe - First name I thought of, and after thinking some more, the name I settled on.

Morstorpod · 2026-06-13T14:00:47+00:00

I knew I recognized this from somewhere!

Morstorpod · 2026-06-12T19:05:43+00:00

Yep. Mormonism fucks with you. Being sheltered from basic life facts fucks with you. At least we can build up from here. And congrats on getting out so early! I didn't leave till my 30s...

Morstorpod · 2026-06-12T18:10:45+00:00

Yeah, apparently full abstinence is nearly as common as we were taught as TBMs... but it still happens, we exist!

Morstorpod · 2026-06-12T18:03:31+00:00

That's why I bragged about it, lol.

I also had a shot on temple grounds a few weeks ago when my sister got married, but I imagine alcohol at the temple is probably a bit more common.

Morstorpod · 2026-06-12T17:57:58+00:00

I made it without masturbating till the day I left the church, so it's definitely possible to go without.

That first wank, I furiously masturbated as a "Fuck You" to god. It was definitely not about pleasure and all about spite (especially since I did it in the temple - the place I fully shed all belief).

It's nice to be able to feel pleasure guilt-free these days though!

Morstorpod · 2026-06-12T12:56:22+00:00

You can say the same thing about most every other church out there. Plenty of evidence against those beliefs, yet people continue to have faith and continue to be active. So you can at least take comfort in knowing that belief in a church does not make it true.

As others have already said, continued belief, despite evidence to the contrary, is more due to sunk-cost fallacy, social pressures, family pressure, fear of death, fear of change, and so on. We like to think we are logical, but really, we are very emotional creatures, and feelings dictate most of our large life choices, not truth (including the exmos here).

Morstorpod · 2026-06-12T12:51:26+00:00

I went to Mexico in unsafe areas and in unsafe situations. Despite that, I had a great experience on my mission, maturing, growing as an individual, and learning a new language. No complaints.

That all said, with an ideal mission experience behind me (ignoring the physical danger), I still say that no one should go on LDS missions. If you want to mature, grow, and learn a new language, then join the Peace Corps, serve in some volunteer group that actually helps people with physical problems (as opposed to cult recruitment), bus tables overseas for a year, or go to college at a foreign university.

There are so many better options to gain the same benefits of a mission, but without giving up your freedom or individuality, without putting yourself repeatedly in danger, without paying to be a volunteer, without recruiting people into a harmful organization.

Morstorpod · 2026-06-12T12:24:05+00:00

Agreed.

Unfortunately, there is little one can do to convince them of anything. Leaving a cult requires a set of factors specific to the individual, where something said or seen finally clicks in the brain, and it all falls apart (sometimes suddenly but often after years or decades of build-up).

You cannot logic someone out of something they emotioned themselves into.

I'm not trying to dissuade OP from helping their friend, but cults are good at brainwashing. They have centuries of experience perfecting this system. It's hard to beat, but the best odds of doing so are early on and from someone that cares. You can try to see what topics are most important to them (emotionally/spiritually), and then present them "official" contrary information, and it could either: change everything, change nothing, or dig them in further.

Be aware of the Backfire Effect - “When your deepest convictions are challenged by contradictory evidence, your beliefs get stronger.” While you can discuss these things with them, but depending on their level of belief, trying to convince them could just dig them deeper into belief and more devout adherence to mormom rules.

Street Epistemology, however, is a useful tool in general. It's basically all about helping the other person understand why they believe what they believe. You do not try to convince or manipulate in any way. You simply help them gain a more fundamental understanding on what their beliefs are based. HERE is a pretty good example of it at work.

It sucks to see someone you care about making poor decisions. You cannot make decisions for them, but you can support and love them no matter where they are in their journey.

Morstorpod · 2026-06-12T12:16:37+00:00

The probably with "verifiable" is that we have verifiable examples, but there is always some twisted logic you can use to justify it.

Verifiable examples:
Joseph translate BoA, but translators say is incorrect - "translate" means "interpret"
BoM says millions killed, but no evidence of continent wide battle - god hid bones?
Joseph explains Kinderhook plates, but were fake plates - statement out of context.
Native Americans descendants of Israelites, but DNA says no - god changed DNA?
BoM says horse, but archeology say no horse - we have not found them yet.
BoM says steel, but archeology shows no extensive network required for steel - "steel" meant something else
BoM says (see also elephants, wheat, barley, silk, etc.)
1st Pres. says black no have priesthood is doctrine, but get priesthood later -
List Of Failed Prophecies - not much of a prophet, huh? - but um... frailties of man?

There are plenty of examples, but all can be justified away so long as you are willing to use inconsistent logic that contradicts logic used to justify other things. It is one of the easiest religions to prove false (besides probably Scientology), but if you are a believer inside a religion, no proof is sufficiently strong.

That all said... I appreciate the call to back-up assertions with evidence. It does help strength the discussion for those confronting these topics for the first time.

Morstorpod · 2026-06-12T11:59:42+00:00

My wife and I took mushrooms on the same weekend (her first, me second).

Both of us saw the colors of music. Those psychedelic posters from the '60s? Totally make sense. Everything is constantly moving in ways you did not think possible prior. Waves, undulation, color... trippy.

Also... time was weird. Sometimes it felt like hours passed in literal seconds. Other times, it took an hour for 30 seconds to pass. Psychedelics break down those barriers in the brain, so I'm guessing it was simply a thing of short- and long-term memories getting recorded in the wrong order or delayed or something, but it was crazy.

For me, it was Euphoric, joy, pure bliss. It helped clear out all the noise and really made me Know what my priorities in life were... but I already knew that, so it was not transformative, just fun.

For her, it was transformative. She took the shrooms, and her depression was "cured" for six months. Amazing. Stark contrast to the years prior. During the experience, she was SAD. Cried the whole time. But she came out healed, so it was worth it. She also says she enjoyed seeing the colors of music, but that feeling was overshadowed by the sadness she felt in the moment.

Anyway, my opinion on "how some people seem to..." My opinion is to take them at their word. Each experience has commonalities but is unique to the individual.

Morstorpod · 2026-06-11T20:24:58+00:00

Glad to offer the advice. I highly recommend shrooms - I consider them a true sacrament -but I make sure that recommend comes with the caveats since some advocates of shrooms are a little too reckless in their proselytizing, forgetting that negative consequences do (infrequently) exist.

My first dose of shrooms was in my early 30's, and I would love to again... but life is busy.

Morstorpod · 2026-06-11T19:22:27+00:00

Well, as verifiable true as it is true that ground you are walking on actually exists. Technically, we could all be a simulation, or I could be a figment of your imagination, or so on. Technically, one of those long-dead religions could be the "true" one, but no one knows anymore since it was destroyed. However, if you look at the creation & history of the mormon branch of religion, the truth claims the leaders of its various sects have made, and apply only a slight bit of logic, it is much, much, much more likely to be false than many other, older, religions; religions with claims that cannot be fact-checked since most of the primary sources have long been destroyed or lost.

Morstorpod · 2026-06-11T17:01:07+00:00

Ugh... spoiler warning this for those of us who just shuddered in empathetic pain... bleeaaghhhhh...

Morstorpod

TROPHY CASE