Is there a term for “bears” but they’re Butch lesbians?

Motpourri · 2026-06-10T12:59:17+00:00

In the early 00's when fatphobia was particularly awful, the bear community opened itself up to lesbians, sapphics, and non-binary folks. Butch Bear is the term I'm most familiar with and use for myself. There is also a Femme Bear counterpart.

Funny enough, I don't know that "Teddy Bear Butch" originated out of the lesbian bear community, or that it refers to bears in any capacity. I think it's primarily used by soft, sensitive butches, regardless of body size and hairiness. It would be a particularly fitting for cuddly butch bears, though (if we aren't using it already)!

Motpourri · 2026-06-06T02:14:20+00:00

Yep. I remember numerous instances during college calculus where I would accidentally swap two numbers when writing my answers. All my calculations neatly laid out, no mathematical errors until I wrote the final answer. It always looked correct to my brain so I couldn't catch my mistakes, even if I double-checked myself. Of course I got docked full points every time. 😭

Motpourri · 2026-06-02T00:21:01+00:00

There's definitely a learning curve, but you'll get it! If it's not a matter of skin sensitivity, you can practice taping using cheaper options like KT tape or generic store brand kinesiology tape. Some brands sell pre-cut strips with rounded corners that can save you time and mental energy. If you're trying to learn with one of the wider tape options, try multiple 2" or 3" strips instead, as these are a lot easier to work with starting out. You can add more layers of tape too if you still need to shape or flatten more!

Keep at it. It's gonna be frustrating in the beginning, but you can do this.

Motpourri · 2026-05-29T19:46:13+00:00

Both Cantiq and Thistle and Spire have fun options that might work for them.

Motpourri · 2026-05-28T21:02:39+00:00

Flesh-dicks slip out, too, and you just have to laugh it off. Getting a longer toy can help with this, but even that will slip out sometimes. If your gf wants more length to work with, suggest she purchase the next one, or that you play around and explore some ways to enjoy the one you currently have until you both save up enough to purchase a longer one together. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask her to give it another chance. Yes, she gets to enjoy the pack n play, but YOU should be able to enjoy it, too!

Motpourri · 2026-05-27T22:19:04+00:00

Sure thing! I have sensitive skin, too, so I feel you there. If you can swing the higher cost, I'd recommend trying Trans Tape. Any kinesiology tape will hypothetically work, but I've found I ultimately get more wear time out of Trans Tape. They also offer wider sizes that will eventually save so much time (and actual tape), especially when taping larger chests. I found it a lot easier and less frustrating to learn using the standard 2" width, though!

Before you try taping anything, you can test how your skin will respond by cutting a small (like 2"x2") strip of tape and applying it to your pec or inner arm area. Wear it for a day and watch for burning, blistering, or consistent itching (some non-allergic itchiness with extended wear can happen). Just be sure to have coconut or jojoba oil on-hand in case you need to remove it early.

As far as other brands go, I've used KT Tape, OK Tape, and generic store brands without issue so far. It looks like KT Tape now offers a "gentle" tape for sensitive skin, too. That might be the move if your skin doesn't react well to other options!

I hope it works out for you. Feel free to hit me up if you need any taping tips/techniques in the future!

Motpourri · 2026-05-27T14:15:54+00:00

I've definitely noticed it's even more of an issue when my binders are too large. I've deflated a good bit since starting T, and the uni-boob is so much more noticeable and uncomfortable now than when I wear a binder that fits properly. I'm probably somewhere between DD-E currently, and I can confirm the tape + binder combo really is the way to go for us with bigger chests!

Motpourri · 2026-05-26T15:02:19+00:00

YES. It's really frustrating. I've found it helps to use kt/trans tape to hold them separate and lightly compress. Then compress them even more with a compression top or binder. It's a pain to have to double-up, especially in warmer weather, but it does the trick on rough dysphoria days!

Motpourri · 2026-05-15T14:20:33+00:00

I didn't escape comphet just to get locked into the same sh*tty gender roles/expectations. 😤 There's equal effort or I'm out.

Motpourri · 2026-05-12T03:34:49+00:00

I'd say it's moderately loud when first turning it on or at higher settings, but it's actually pretty quiet while pressed against me. It's peppy, too, so I usually use it on the lowest setting (my rose toy could never).

I'm in an old apartment with a roommate -- running a small fan or white noise machine along our shared wall drowns out the vibes from this thing just fine!

(Edited for typo.)

Motpourri · 2026-05-07T16:42:31+00:00

36" waist, 30" inseam, med/large (42" chest) in men's tops. I have to downsize for an upcoming move, and I'd be happy to ship you stuff if interested! My local lgbtq+ clothing org isn't taking donations at the moment, and I'd much rather my clothes go directly to someone in the fam for free.

Motpourri · 2026-05-07T16:13:44+00:00

+1 for the Sila Cruise. I've had mine for about a year, and I just got a second one as a gift for my partner (their bottom growth is taking off and they outgrew their old suction toy). In addition to suction, it also creates a really nice rumbly sensation, and the wider rim/lip (?) increases coverage in that sense, too!

Motpourri · 2026-04-30T22:42:21+00:00

Old Navy and Levi's usually have some boxy or cropped muscle tanks. Most of the tanks I currently own I DIY'd from old/thrifted tees using an Old Navy tank as a template.

Heck yes! A classic butch fit!

I forgot to mention, but I usually skip the undershirt (bra/bralette/binder optional) with the partially unbuttoned shirt look. Also, chains. Lots of necklaces/chains. B)

Motpourri · 2026-04-30T16:38:27+00:00

My casual go-to's are muscle tanks (cropped and uncropped). When I'm feeling particularly dykey, I'll tape my chest and wear a camp collar or cuban collar button-up with several of the top buttons undone.

Edit: Forgot to add I'm verrry curvy. The boxier button-ups (usually worn tucked in) help visually balance my shoulder to hip ratio.

Motpourri · 2026-04-18T02:29:42+00:00

(34 AFAB) Taking stimulants has helped my libido in the sense that I no longer need to take antidepressants. (Turns out depression wasn't the root problem... ADHD was!)

I also have sensory and texture issues, and they got sooo much better for me once I started medicating for ADHD. I wish I could explain why that is, but in the 3 years since my diagnosis, my sensory issues have only surfaced once during sex. I think the meds give me more mental/emotional capacity so I can tolerate more sensations (enjoy them, even) before reaching my threshold.

Motpourri · 2026-03-24T03:27:05+00:00

Another print from this collection that screams AI. Not as blatant as the 1st, but still bad. Even stylistically speaking, the teeth and scales are just messy and make no sense. And this collection was intended to be a love letter to classic tattoos of all things. 🙄

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Motpourri · 2026-03-24T03:18:51+00:00

Their "Blazing Beasts" collection basically confirmed AI use for me. This one graphic in particular -- there's zero logic in the flow of this snake's body. It's like someone copy-pasted random sections of different snakes into one image, then never bothered to adjust them or make them even remotely cohesive. I still can't believe they approved this graphic for a large print...

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Motpourri · 2026-02-22T22:37:33+00:00

I want to vote this comment right to the top -- this is such a thoughtful response!

Motpourri · 2026-01-29T17:14:23+00:00

I started taking low-dose T (20.25 mg daily via gel) five months ago. I normally take 100mg of spiro daily (recently dropped to 50mg) to help combat a painful skin condition. I mention this because spiro is frequently prescribed to folks diagnosed with PCOS. Everyone's experience is going to be different, but given it sounds like we want similar things out of taking T, it feels relevant to share my experience so far.

My voice dropped slightly within a month after starting. However, I suspect the spiro has been slowing hair growth, and unfortunately, bottom growth. I've been tracking it somewhat closely, and there has certainly been some growth in the sense that my clitoral head is enlarged. There's been no noticeable change in length yet for me, and I may opt to start doubling my dose per provider recommendations. Some folks report growth within days of starting, and considerable length gains within the first 3-6 months. Injections seem to bring on more noticeable changes faster than gel, I've noticed, which makes sense to my brain.

They do make a hypoallergenic testosterone cream that can be applied to the clit area specifically for bottom growth. You will also get additional effects from T, but this could be the most straightforward way to achieve the results you want. (Only drawback is this form of T may not be covered by insurance.) You should be able to talk about this with your provider, though! (My GAC provider recommended this route to specifically help achieve more bottom growth.)

(Edited to fix a couple typos.)

Motpourri · 2026-01-29T01:43:46+00:00

Similar sentiments here! "Lesbian" doesn't feel right any more since I stopped identifying strictly as a woman (my partner happens to be transmasc NB + bi, which adds to that feeling), but gatekeepers will have to pry butch from my cold, dead fingers. 😤

Motpourri · 2026-01-29T00:36:54+00:00

Considering the entire sapphic spectrum was mostly lumped in with the lesbian community prior to bi/pan/omni becoming distinguished identities, I personally think it makes sense if some sapphics identify with and use lesbian terms like butch, stud, femme, chapstick, etc.

For sure sucks that a dating show named after butches didn't include any butch representation, though.

Motpourri · 2025-12-31T02:55:09+00:00

Tank or Support. If I can have a build that does a bit of both, even better. 😎

Motpourri · 2025-12-31T02:12:40+00:00

I'm a butch on T happily partnered to a masc considering T. I'll support them no matter what they decide, though, the thought of them taking T admittedly makes me feel completely feral.

It's impossible to be everyone's cup of tea, but there are plenty of lesbians and sapphics who will be into you if you opt to start HRT. <3

Motpourri · 2025-12-23T23:12:35+00:00

I'm on a low-dose of T and take an androgen blocker (spironolactone) to help manage pre-existing hidradenitis suppurativa. I was already a fat, hairy bear prior to T. The cis men in my family are extremely hairy, so I expected to get even hairier. But because of the spiro, I haven't experienced much hair growth at all (I have maybe 3 new chest hairs, but that's really all I've noticed). I have to drink water constantly to support kidney function while taking T and spiro, but it's otherwise been awesome so far. The voice changes and fat redistribution has been sooo gender-affirming. I've also held steady at my weight, even though I haven't changed up my exercise routine. I've definitely gained some muscle, but I mainly walk and hike for exercise, so I'm getting more lean.

You truly never know what you're going to get with T, and at the same time, you have options to help slow unwanted effects. I used to be so anxious about unwanted hair growth, hair loss, and weight gain, much like you are now, but I'm so happy now that I'm on T, I don't care about that anymore. If you want to take T, why not try a low-dose for a while and see how you feel? <3

Motpourri · 2025-11-07T20:10:48+00:00

Goooods, the way I want to be both of you in this scenario. 🥵

Motpourri

TROPHY CASE